Am I Over reacting?

Long story short....

The first cousin on my father's side got married over 4 summers ago. All the cousins were super excited. My father has not been in the picture for about 16 years and there deff was some bad blood between this side of the family and my father. As his children we try very hard to keep a relationship with this family because we really do want them in our lives. At this cousin's wedding, neither my mother and father were invited but my sister and I were.

Now 4 years later I'm engaged and decided that I wanted no bad blood. My father wasn't at my e-party so I invited all his siblings including the aunt and uncle who did not invite my mother. Only my uncle showed.

Another cousin on this side got married last year and invited both my parents out of respect, my mother came to only the church to pay respect to my cousin.

Now the cousin who got married 4 years ago is pregnant and I have to be honest we were all so excited. That's such a beautiful time!! My mother figured since the 2nd cousin got married and invited her that maybe things were okay.

Got the baby shower invite yesterday and it was addressed to just my sister and me. I just broke down crying because I felt like it was a slap in my face. My father's mistakes are now interferring in my feelings and relationships with my cousins. Now how do I invite my aunt and uncle to the wedding next year when she doesn't show my mother the same respect as family? This set of aunt and uncle are also the parents to one of my grooms men and I love my cousins and don't want a family fight.

What would you do?

This is a tough situation to give advice on bc im sure so much more info is needed on the family dynamics n history in order to fully understand..

However, we have similar situation in my family where we dnt speak to 95% of my fathers side. Even siblings do not speak!! So anyway my fathers cousins daughter was married a few years back and did not invite my father, only bc she cut his whole side of the fam out so I guess she figured she couldnt invite anyone. Even tho they themselves had no bad blood. I made a decision to leave them all out of the wedding. If someone insults my parent, it is the same as insulting me. just my opinion. If you feel like you can be open and honest with them ask them straight out y why your mom wasnt invited.

I actually have something very similar going on with my family...

My mother still to this day tries to be nice to my father's side and gets nothing in return. My parents have been divorced for years and when my brother was leaving for bootcamp (and his return) my mother had my fathers whole side come over to say goodbye... and welcome home. Recently my cousin on that side had her 30th birthday party and my mother was originally invited by my aunt but since my father was possibly going to invite his new girlfriend my mother was UNINVITED! I was LIVID! So pissed. and to top it off my aunt wanted me to do the uninviting! Clearly I said no, and told her she could do it herself and that I knew my mother would be devastated and incredibly hurt. It happened almost a month ago and I'm still angry.

It was never an option for me not to invite my aunt, I love her to pieces, but it just pains me to see how hard my mother tries to be the better person, and then gets slapped in the face like that.

It is up to you on who you want at your wedding. If you are close with those family members invite them, or even talk to your mother about it and see what she says about it.

Remember it is YOUR wedding day. Invite who YOU want there and to be honest... no one else really matters!

It's just weird to me, I would NEVER do something like that. It really hurts....my parents are still married. My father might have made some mistakes but we did nothing wrong.

I feel like this type of behavior is just a reminder of how much my sister and I will never be 100% welcomed.

I wanted this to be a beautiful day, a day with all my loved ones. My father is not going to be there and I especially want my fathers side there bc I have not hard feelings, I just want to be respected and loved back. I'm not saying my aunt and mom have to be BFF's but respect would not hurt.

I feel so badly about myself and I don't even think it was meant to be like that but that is who she ended up hurting the most.