Am I overreacting?

Am I overreacting?

As you may know, I am 3 months pregnant. Is it normal to be inundated with stupid comments about your weight? My MIL made a comment like 'Well, since you are showing already you'll probably carry large...' and my mother's comments like 'you BIL thought you had gotten fat...' Are stupid comments like this normal or is my family grossly insensitive?

Re: Am I overreacting?

As much as they shouldn't be normal...they are unfortunately. I think that, from what I have heard, I get some of the most extreme comments anyone could ever make. Granted, at this point I am 8.5 months pregnant, but still. I am now up to 5 people asking if I am having twins since I am carrying all in my stomach. I have a lady screech when I turned around and say OMG, look at your belly, I wasn't expecting you to be that pregnant....

Bottom line, I think as much as it is hurtful sometimes you just have to take people's comments with a grain of salt!

Heck, my own mom still swears that there just has to be another one in there or that I am due much sooner than the end of March. (BTW, I didn't even count my mom/family in on the twin comments...those were strangers.)

Re: Am I overreacting?

I think a lot of people don't realize how their comments come out sounding. I am very sensitive about gaining weight even though I am right where I should be according to my dr.
I think my family is being extra careful with their comments because they know I am very sensitive to it. But I have gotten comments like 'Wow, you did get big' or 'she's eating a lot.'

Re: Am I overreacting?

People can be ridiculous and annoying with their comments. and family, they act like they know you and your body BETTER than you do!

My MIL (I love her but...oh the questions and comments!!) SHe always contradicts what she says, so I dont even know what she's thinking at all !
She'll say 'Oh you dropped so early with this pregnancy, with the last one, you dropped more towards the end, I remember' (wrong).
Youve been carrying very low this time around.
and then the next week she'll say 'Youre still carrying very high, Im telling you, you didnt carry so high last time'

Or 'you look all belly - definately a boy, HELLO my grandson, hows my grandson doing'
and then the very next week 'where's my grand-daughter, Im telling you its a girl'

Hello, are you losing your long term memory?
At least stick with ONE story !!

Then one day, my face didnt change at all, and the next day, 'oh yes, your face definately changed this time'

ITS SOOO ANNOYING to be everyone's focal point to analyze every part of your body!
Of course the compliments are welcome
but the annoying, 'know-it-all' comments are sooooo ridiculous!

Re: Am I overreacting?

MIL...thank God I never see her sometimes! Last time I saw her was when I was 3 months preggo and she swore that I was going to be huge and how she didn't gain any more weight than like 15 lbs. Well, come to find out that she never ate and if she did, she mostly ate crackers!

I forgot to add in to my original post that I am positive that I will need help next weekend while visiting my In-Laws...so please people, please be ready to save me from the depths of you know what! Anyone live near Glen Cove/ Westbury?????????? I know that I am going to get some wonderfully nice comments since they haven't seen me since Sept.

Re: Am I overreacting?

People are clueless sometimes. I think that 90% of the time they don't realize that their comments may be downright mean or upsetting.

My MIL, who I ADORE is probably the only person that has ever said anything to me which would be considered insensitive:
'at the rate you're going, you're going to be as big as a house by the time he's born!'

'and I'm going to enjoy EVERY SECOND of it!'

was my reply

I know that she would never say anything to me intentionally to hurt my feelings, so I pretty much let it roll off my back and happily nodded while I stuffed another cookie in my mouth.

My only other and more recent comment was from the woman at are butcher, who, upon finding out that I was only going into my 7th month exclaimed 'OMG! You're HUGE!'
To which I gave a happy 'I KNOW!!'

mind you this was coming from someone that EASILY tops the scale at around 250.
Not bothered.
As long as I'M happy with how I look, I could care less what anyone else says to me. DH tells me I look beautiful no matter what. That and my own reflection are the only things that carry any weight in my mind.

Re: Am I overreacting?

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Posted by Mary

'Well, since you are showing already you'll probably carry large...'

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My SIL said the exact same comment! I was so pissed, since I was not feeling well to begin with and was a bit depressed about my weight gain....the last thing I needed was to hear something like that

I commented to her that I didn't appreciate it and she later apologized.

I figured all women would KNOW not to say those types of things - doesn't everyone know weight is such a sensitive issue?! Apparently not!

I like Susan's comeback....I'm going to have to say something like that when I hear the next comment

Re: Am I overreacting?

I think those are just stupid comments. Long before I was ever pregnant, I never would say anything like that to a pregnant person, not just because I know we are sensitive from experience, but because it's just rude, period. I got a few of them when I was preggo with Luke too and I remember one woman in particular who said 'Wow you're huge' and I said 'Wow you too'. She actually stopped to llok at me for a second, wondering what I meant (she wasn't preggo). I think I was just fed up at that point. It doesnt help that we KNOW we are getting big, even though it's for a great reason, it can still be stressful at times to be getting big and stupid comments don't help.

We understand!!!

Re: Am I overreacting?

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Posted by Elizabeth

..one woman in particular who said 'Wow you're huge' and I said 'Wow you too'.

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Liz that is HYSTERICAL !! I Love that comeback!

Susan, I agree about ourselves and our hubbies being what matters most.
John compliments me all the time
A few nights ago he said '...You didnt get 'HEAVY' like XYZ, wow she got heavy all over, you just have a belly, thats it, nothing else changed'

(Even if its not totally true, its nice to hear )

Re: Am I overreacting?

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Posted by anna

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Posted by Elizabeth

..one woman in particular who said 'Wow you're huge' and I said 'Wow you too'.

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Liz that is HYSTERICAL !! I Love that comeback!

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Liz I love that!!!!

I wish I could have thought of that. All the parents at my job would say WOW you're huge!!!
I also had a couple of are you having twins comments too

People don't think!!!

Re: Am I overreacting?

People are so inconsiderate with wording sometimes about peoples weight. I think people really need to think more before speaking!

Re: Am I overreacting?

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Posted by Elizabeth

I got a few of them when I was preggo with Luke too and I remember one woman in particular who said 'Wow you're huge' and I said 'Wow you too'.

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I too use comments like this back to people all the time when they say, wow you are thin, I say, wow you are big!

Re: Am I overreacting?

I am sorry to tell you that you may have to get used to the comments because of the large number of insensitive people around. BUT, you do not have to ignore them. You can make a comeback like some of the pp's said. The rudest comment I heard came from my family doctor when he saw me at a local store. I thought he would be more sensitive because he has 2 kids and a family practice. Unfortunately, rudeness knows no boundaries. If his wife (also my dr.) only knew what he said to me...

Re: Am I overreacting?

If it makes you feel any better, people I work with were VERY kind to me, telling me how great I looked and all while I was pregnant, and AFTER Nicolas was born told me they never saw anyone so horribly bloated... that I retained SO much water I looked like I could float, that at the end they barely recognized me.

Re: Am I overreacting?

Do people realize what they are saying to you Do they think before they speak??
I would take it quite personal and be pretty PI$$Ed off

Re: Am I overreacting?

I told everyone that I gained 12lbs when they asked me You should have seen the faces I got. I kept thinking it was totally rude to ask how much weight you havee gained and to comment on it. You could also respond by asking 'How much weight have you gained in the last year'

Re: Am I overreacting?

My mom is obsessed with my wieght... she has always ben though... but she keeps asking that i should lose weght while i am pregnant . I keep telling her if the Dr had a problem he would say something.. she really gets on my nerves... I also have HBP so it jsut gives her more fuel to bug me with...