Am I The Only One....

who doesn't want to get signs or monograms with my new last name's initial emphasized on it???

I know I'm taking on that name and will be addressed with that name, and that is no problem. But I feel like putting it on display is like a way of giving up my old name and my family. Is there anyone else out there that feels like this or am I just weird???

For example, I refuse to get any monogrammed stuff, if there are to be initials, it will either be both of our first name initials or none at all. Also, I just saw a name plaque pic on a website and the new last name takes up the whole area, and the first names are smaller. I love my FH to death and know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but by displaying the new name everywhere, I feel like I'm giving away my family and the first part of my life!

Any advice or other brides feeling this way???? I just feel like I'm weird for this!

You're not weird at ALL for feeling that way!!!

You don't have to emphasize the new last name, and it's becoming less and less of a big deal what name the couples end up keeping. Did you know that in Canada a woman is not allowed to change her last name by marriage alone, and has to still apply to the courts to change it legally? We're kinda backwards here in the US. (j/k)

I don't love my new last name, but I know how much it means to FH that I take it, so I'm changing mine to both legally (MAIDEN NEW) with a space between. I figure it'll be easier on legal documents, and they didn't give me any issues when I went to get my marriage license.

As far as at the wedding... well, both our last names have the same initial!! So my monogram doesn't change. However, our initials are M&S or S&M -- so we're not putting our initials on things.

I did make a cute little design with our first names with a giant & between them that I'm using on the OOT welcome notes and on the programs. No last names at all.

There are definitely ways to accessorize your wedding without putting your FH's last name all over the place, so don't feel pressured if it's not something you want to do.

Oh, but your dad won't be too upset. He knew when he had a little girl that someday she'd get married and take on a new last name. No big deal.

I kept my last name :)
don't think you are crazy at all.

Don't worry about it! I'm not too into the monogramed stuff either! youre def not the only one that thinks that way. I'm most likely keeping my last name b/c im proud of it and i'm going to be an MD and would like to carry on my family name. I think unprofessionally i'll use FH's name but there's no reason to have it on top of cakes and what not.

HTH

I wasn't interested in getting things monogrammed - mostly because I didn't change my last name. However, I did get a single letter B for the cake topper (DH's last name initial) since it looked so pretty I don't think it's weird to not care about getting that stuff.

I'm going to give you an 'older' brides perspective. I hope this helps.

I am 38. When I get married I will be 39. I waited a LONG time to find the right man to marry and cant WAIT to start the rest of my life with him.

So I am Gail Frakel. I have been Gail Frankel for 38 years. My clients know me as Gail Frankel. My friends for years know me as Gail Frankel. My e-mail address is Gail Frankel. People who I have know in my past who might want to look me up on facebook look for Gail Frankel.

I though long and hard about what it would mean to change my name to Reiser. Gail Reiser. After 38 years that WHO I am. Its not like I'm 23-24 and changing my name. I have had 18 years or so to establish myself professionally.

So believe me I understand what you mean although its slightly different.

So. I decided to change my name to Gail Reiser! I want to change my name. I want to be Mrs. Reiser. I have 2 brothers with children who will Frankel.

But here's the thing.

My family is happy for me that I found someone. They are thrilled that I want to take a married name. No one sees me as 'abandoning' Frankel. Im still the same Gail no matter what my last name is.

My invites DO have a monogram on them with GRJ. For me, its a way to introduce myself with my new name, start my new life, but still be my old self.

Don't think about what OTHERS will think. I don't know your family and if there has been problems in the past with this issue with other family members. If you are changing your name, and you are happy about it then don't feel bad about having monograms. If you don't feel comfortable then DON'T have monograms etc.

It comes down to YOU doing what YOU want, not what you thinking other will THINK about you. But like I said I don't know if there history we don't know about, or your parents/siblings might be offended.

But if there is no pressing issues like that do what you want. Do what's right for you. I don't think this is the kind of thing that would make your family mad or offend them.

If YOU want mono's, do them. If YOU don't, don't.

You will make the right decision for you. But I decided to change my name, embrace the change and yell to the world I'm doing so.

Be fearless, be adventurous and be true to yourself.

Hope this helps!

I'm going to give you the opposite 'older' bride's perspective. I was 37 turning 38 when I met FH. I will be 41 when we get married in November.

For 40 years, I have been Gina S_____. It's my identity. It's who I am. I have built a professional and personal reputation as Gina S____.

I adore my FH and cannot wait to share the rest of my life with him. He is the most amazing person I have ever met. However, any more than I would ask him to change HIS name, I cannot change mine.

I will be Mrs. M___ socially, but in all other respects, I will retain my name. He understands and respects my decision (yet another reason I'm madly in love with him). It is not about him, it is about me.

Bottom line is, everyone has an opinion. Do what feels right for you. If you're not comfortable with the monograms all over the place, don't sweat it. It's a silly thing for people to get their panties in a bunch about.