Ok here is a question! Am I the only one planning this wedding solo? I am getting no help from my other half. I am working on this wedding 24/7. What really is frustrating is that he is in the party planning business! AHHHHH! Also, I don't know the area that well in Suffolk and he shoots down everywhere. We are looking for a hall so we can do it all. We have everyone offering us everything from DJ to food a liquor. Just want to know if I am the only one?
cutsabutton
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Re: Am I the only one?
Guys can be like that sometimes...the best advice I could give you is don't nag him about it and try to get him interested (to help out a bit) not by telling him how overwhelimg all this is but by giving him smaller tasks one at a time (giving him a reasonable deadline might give him the initiative to get going). Little things like finding the right Tux or comparing limo companies...and if he tries, just make sure you express your appreciation.
daisybride
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Re: Am I the only one?
My Fh is the same way, but to make it worse whenever I make a decision he says that I'm not including him. Then we sit down and I try to show him what I'm doing and he doesn't want to be bothered. He says 'not right now, Maybe later.' I assigned him a few tasks that he must do. He has to pick the music, our song, groomsmen gifts, tuxes, and the limos. With my help of course. He was happy with his tasks, but needless to sya he hasn't even begun to think about them yet
kelly6273
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Re: Am I the only one?
Have you thought of maybe giving him a list of responsibilities? I did this and he was thrilled...he wanted to help but because I was so intense and overwhelmed...he was just staying away.
xjulietx
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Re: Am I the only one?
First make sure he doesn't have any female friends or coworkers who have brainwashed him. My FH works with a bunch of women who led him to believe that I would give him three choices (five if he was good) and he would pick one and I would go with what I like anyway. Once he realized that his opinion really did matter, he was a lot better off.
Also, you must accept the fact that some things will never interest him and other things may spark a side of him he never knew he had (my FH is not interested in the flowers, but my best friend's DH took the reins with that and got more into than she did)
Good luck and have fun together!
Scoop
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Re: Am I the only one?
my husband was too involved...and it drove me nuts. Maybe you can put him in charge of certain vendors...such as tuxedos, limos and rehearsal dinner.
gailb
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Re: Am I the only one?
Mine is involved only because he knows if I make the decisions myself, with my head in the clouds, we'd have to file for bankruptcy!
I do the research, and when I narrow down all, we make the final decision together.
... Ooooh, If I had a million dollars..
kptoys
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Re: Am I the only one?
I told my FH that he is marrying me in less than 10 months yesterday and he said 'I know I was thinking about that too'. OMG I nearly DIED!!! This is the man that proposed and that was almost the last thing about the wedding he talked about.
dolphin
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Re: Am I the only one?
there is this great book out there you should consider buying him. the author relates everything to sporting events. there is a section in the front addressed to the bride saying' why are you reading this there are like one hundred books out there for you and more magazines' men do not have anything. in a funny/classy way this book helps the guy understand your needs of him it is called 'WHAT IS A GROOM AND WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO?' or something to that effect
good luck
mlp924
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Re: Am I the only one?
Nope I am right there with you! Matt just hands me money and says tell me later!
MrsTC
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Re: Am I the only one?
I am doing it on my own too....I ad to 'assign' things to my FH to get him involved like, he took care of the HM, etc. The only other person helping me is my mom! Not even the BMs..
Olgaki
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Re: Am I the only one?
Give him some stuff to do - honeymoon, limo, tuxes blabla. I'm sure if he's in the business he might feel like he doesn't want to rain on your parade of planning! Just talk to him about doing that stuff!
Good luck!
palebride
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Re: Am I the only one?
i get the feeling you're not too crazy about planning this on your own. I'd suggest talking to hima nd explaining how you feel. see if there's any reason in particular he's not getting as involved as you. then you can begin to discuss who can do what and what you can do together so you're both happy!
I count my blessing everyday that my FH is as involved as i am...i know i'm in the minority and i thank him for it all the time!
