AmandaLynn -- I have to beat the dead horse (long)
So, I bought the book Friday and finished it this weekend. It was AMAZING!!! I pulled a few parts out that I thought were great and have to share --
page 3:
'The result is woneb get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men. And when there is so little emphasis on the giving, the nitpicking and pettiness chew up and spits out what could have been a good marriage'.
Page 54:
'The feminist double whammy of the elevation of women without men (and children without fathers) and the dismissal of men as unnecessary or even dangerous has cetainly not contributed to the kind of positive disposition that women need in order to function wwell within a monogamous, heterosexual, committed relationship.
This grandoiuse self-centeredness about the value of women, paired with a virtual disdain for men, leads women to treat men badly. Too many women look at men with a sense of entitlement versis an opportunity for selflessness. Why? All of those forces taken together have given women a false sense of superiority.'
page 140:
''Faith comes by hearing...' If we say hateful things about wach other, we begin to believe it and it just keeps escalating intil our 'faith' in our marriage is over.'
Page 159:
'My mother, I believe, had the best advice; in fact, I follow it to this day as a married woman. The general idea behind her words was sinple: I f you want me to love and respect the man you date and eventually marry, don't come to me with complaints about all his faults and weaknessess. you may forgive his words and actions easily; I, howver, am your mother, and I don't like to see you hurt. it will take more for me to accept his apologies than it will for you'
And finally, the one that did it for me was this:
Page 162-63:
'I satrted to ignore the house and pay more attentio to him. instead of just telling him I loved him, I told him I adored him. I made those little calls during the day just to remind him. When he came home tired, I started to indulge hi,, and not resent hi,. When in mixed company, I always went out of my was to compliment what he;s done for me or the kids. i always brag about what a great dad he is. I realized that I CHOSE this life, so I made meself appreciate ALL I das, and pretty soon I believed it! Wou may call it stroking his ego, but it paid off. the more attention i paid, the more i got. he was not as interesting in a perfect house as he was in having and adoring wife. I became her and thus fell back in love with my husband and life. In return, he showed his love for me. i learned that MY MOOD set the mood for the house.'
It works. I tried it all weekend. he was sick and I went out of my way to pick up things he liked (Ralph's), cooked things he was in the mood for and told him I aprrecaited how hard he works for us and after dinner last nigh, SICK AS A DOG, he did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. I helped, but he initiated it.
I can get used to this kind of life!! :) Thanks Amanda and Tilde whose wonderful review made me buy this book!!! :)
ETS: I forgot to spell check, so please excuse mispellings and such!
page 3:
'The result is woneb get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men. And when there is so little emphasis on the giving, the nitpicking and pettiness chew up and spits out what could have been a good marriage'.
Page 54:
'The feminist double whammy of the elevation of women without men (and children without fathers) and the dismissal of men as unnecessary or even dangerous has cetainly not contributed to the kind of positive disposition that women need in order to function wwell within a monogamous, heterosexual, committed relationship.
This grandoiuse self-centeredness about the value of women, paired with a virtual disdain for men, leads women to treat men badly. Too many women look at men with a sense of entitlement versis an opportunity for selflessness. Why? All of those forces taken together have given women a false sense of superiority.'
page 140:
''Faith comes by hearing...' If we say hateful things about wach other, we begin to believe it and it just keeps escalating intil our 'faith' in our marriage is over.'
Page 159:
'My mother, I believe, had the best advice; in fact, I follow it to this day as a married woman. The general idea behind her words was sinple: I f you want me to love and respect the man you date and eventually marry, don't come to me with complaints about all his faults and weaknessess. you may forgive his words and actions easily; I, howver, am your mother, and I don't like to see you hurt. it will take more for me to accept his apologies than it will for you'
And finally, the one that did it for me was this:
Page 162-63:
'I satrted to ignore the house and pay more attentio to him. instead of just telling him I loved him, I told him I adored him. I made those little calls during the day just to remind him. When he came home tired, I started to indulge hi,, and not resent hi,. When in mixed company, I always went out of my was to compliment what he;s done for me or the kids. i always brag about what a great dad he is. I realized that I CHOSE this life, so I made meself appreciate ALL I das, and pretty soon I believed it! Wou may call it stroking his ego, but it paid off. the more attention i paid, the more i got. he was not as interesting in a perfect house as he was in having and adoring wife. I became her and thus fell back in love with my husband and life. In return, he showed his love for me. i learned that MY MOOD set the mood for the house.'
It works. I tried it all weekend. he was sick and I went out of my way to pick up things he liked (Ralph's), cooked things he was in the mood for and told him I aprrecaited how hard he works for us and after dinner last nigh, SICK AS A DOG, he did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. I helped, but he initiated it.
I can get used to this kind of life!! :) Thanks Amanda and Tilde whose wonderful review made me buy this book!!! :)
ETS: I forgot to spell check, so please excuse mispellings and such!
