'And Guest'

My FH and I just received a STD from a close family friend of his, and they sent it to my FH and guest. Now, I've met these people several times in the past 2 years we've been together and they are very close with the family since he was growing up. They also obviously know we are getting married. Kinda made me feel bad to be 'and guest.' (Oh and they know we live together). I know they voiced their opinion that we shouldn't be living together before marriage so maybe they don't like me? lol

So this brings me to the question, if people are engaged, wouldn't you put both their names on an invite?

most people we're inviting with 'guests' didn't have 'and guest' on their STD, we're really saving that for the invitation. BUT anyone living together or engaged or we really know the person was included on the STD by their name (i.e., if the person is truly a 'guest', that's when they weren't on the STD envelope).
ex: if Mary currently has no significant other but I'll be inviting her with a guest to the wedding, her STD reads 'Ms. Mary Smith' but my friend who just moved in with her boyfriend got 'Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. Bill Kidd'

so I would say yeah they should have put your name on it. try not to take it too personally though. most of us put a lot of thought into invitations and etiquette and wording, but some people just don't put that amount of thought into it. in their eyes they may just think it's appropriate to put 'and guest' and aren't meaning it as a dig at you

I wouldnt put and guest on a save the date ?!! thats silly.. its not like a formal invite.. sounds like an attack to you!!! she knows you live there and are engaged!!! NOT COOL
there life style doesnt have to be yours...
how pathetic!!!

OMG! i HATE that!!!!

when my friend got (re)married, his now wife (who doesnt like me cause i his 'female' friend) wrote out my invite like that too. its just rude!

in my mind that just knocked off 50$ to their gift lol


its like you know we are together, you know both our names. put in the effort alil!

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Posted by gmcamp

It's pretty messed up that they didn't address you by name, especially if you're sure that they know your name. It sounds like they're being passive aggressive and expressing their disapproval of your living situation through the invite, but it's probably just that, not that they personally don't like you. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it and they're just lazy or don't know proper etiquette!

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I think i'm reading too much into it too!! But at the same time, I feel like it might be a slight against me...as crazy as it sounds, someone told me that the mother of that family made a comment about the fact that my FH chose an 'asian girl' to marry. Apparently she told my FMIL...'I'm sorry about that' in regards to me being asian. LOL

Oh well, can't please everyone!

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Posted by cms82288

I wouldnt put and guest on a save the date ?!! thats silly.. its not like a formal invite.. sounds like an attack to you!!! she knows you live there and are engaged!!! NOT COOL
there life style doesnt have to be yours...
how pathetic!!!

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And this too!! I thought it was weird how they put it on a STD...ughhh oh well. At least my FH took my side...he was like, 'they could have look on Facebook for the correct spelling and everything!' hahaha

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Posted by AlexandMike2012

I don't plan on putting 'guest' on the STD's..I only plan on writing the name of the guest if they are engaged or live together.

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I agree with this! I misread and thought you received an invite, but for the STD's I did not put anything other than the person's name that is the actual invited guest. No 'and guest' or anything. I think for maybe 2 friends I put their full fiance's name on the address.

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Posted by KL824

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Posted by gmcamp

It's pretty messed up that they didn't address you by name, especially if you're sure that they know your name. It sounds like they're being passive aggressive and expressing their disapproval of your living situation through the invite, but it's probably just that, not that they personally don't like you. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it and they're just lazy or don't know proper etiquette!

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I think i'm reading too much into it too!! But at the same time, I feel like it might be a slight against me...as crazy as it sounds, someone told me that the mother of that family made a comment about the fact that my FH chose an 'asian girl' to marry. Apparently she told my FMIL...'I'm sorry about that' in regards to me being asian. LOL

Oh well, can't please everyone!

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omg thats horrible!

what did your FMIL say?

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Posted by Bride in 2012

I think technically unless they're 'married' it's always 'and guest.' Phil and I have received several wedding invitations and one of us is always the 'and guest' (depending on whose friends are sending the invite). I'm not taking this personally nor am I offended, however if it still says 'and guest' after we're married, I'll have an issue lol

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Ok..that makes me feel better! I mean, I know there are minor issues with this family, and I'm probably just sensitive about it or something.

Oh and FMIL basically just politely told her I make her son happy and she loves me and she can't wait to have half asian grand babies!

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Posted by CaughtMyFish

I would put the person's name if they are engaged, and actually am going to put the guests full name if I know it. I wont be sending many 'and guest' invites if I know the person has been and IS single.

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THIS!

i would definitely put both names on the it! How rude of them!

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Posted by CaughtMyFish

I would put the person's name if they are engaged, and actually am going to put the guests full name if I know it. I wont be sending many 'and guest' invites if I know the person has been and IS single.

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This excactly!

I know exactly how you feel, both of my FBIL's did this. I got really upset about it and FH felt terrible. Turns out their mother told them to do it that way because it was 'easier'.