'and guest' dilemma

so FH and i decided we couldn't invite everyone 'with guest' bc it would get out of hand expensive. so we only invited people 'with guest' if they were seriously dating/engaged/or married (obviously)

one of my BMs was dating someone for a while and we invited him. they broke up. she RSVP'd with him but then told me to take him off the list. she is now dating someone else and wants to bring him

SAME THING with one of FH's GM! he wants to bring his new girl (they aren't even BF/GF yet).

what do i do? i feel badly saying No, but i also feel badly asking my parents to pay for more people (they are paying for the wedding).

also, i have already told other people they aren't invited with guest (i have two more BMs who jsut started seeing people after the invitaitons went out) - think they would be mad?

this is so frsutrating!

I would just say (and ESPECIALLY to your BM) that you only invited people in serious relationships that are engaged or living together with guests and that since that was the rule, you don't feel comfortable breaking it.

Your BM won't even be around for most of the stuff bc she'll be with you-- why would she even want to bring someone?

i think that you should invite your bridal party/ grooms men with guests regardless of if theyre in a relationship or not. I think they are the exception to that rule.

thats just my opinion though.

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Posted by KittyGags

I would just say (and ESPECIALLY to your BM) that you only invited people in serious relationships that are engaged or living together with guests and that since that was the rule, you don't feel comfortable breaking it.

Your BM won't even be around for most of the stuff bc she'll be with you-- why would she even want to bring someone?

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see, i totally agree! i actually told her that and she keeps asking if she can bring this new guy

there is also a 3.5 hour break between my ceremony and reception and i dont know what these people will do since the BMs and GMs will be with me!

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Posted by VeggieBride

i think that you should invite your bridal party/ grooms men with guests regardless of if theyre in a relationship or not. I think they are the exception to that rule.

thats just my opinion though.

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we were actually going to do that to begin with but the guest list got so big and out of control that we had to cut it down somehow and we started the 'in a serious relationship' rule

and we have 8 BMs and 8 GMs so that would be around 16 extra people

i feel horrible though bc i dont want people to come alone if they want to bring someone, it's just getting crazy expensive!

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Posted by StefPalma

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Posted by VeggieBride

i think that you should invite your bridal party/ grooms men with guests regardless of if theyre in a relationship or not. I think they are the exception to that rule.

thats just my opinion though.

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we were actually going to do that to begin with but the guest list got so big and out of control that we had to cut it down somehow and we started the 'in a serious relationship' rule

and we have 8 BMs and 8 GMs so that would be around 16 extra people

i feel horrible though bc i dont want people to come alone if they want to bring someone, it's just getting crazy expensive!

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yea, i understand. That is a lot of people!

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Posted by PROBM

i would tell your friends that you have to wait and see if you get more no responses bc you cant go over a certain number

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thats a good idea

my friend told me this when I was going through this same dillema with someone who wanted to bring some girl he JUST started dating. .. sure tell him he can bring as many people as he wants for 150 plus gratuity obviously I would NEVER do this . but it made me giggle

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Posted by gina409

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Posted by PROBM

i would tell your friends that you have to wait and see if you get more no responses bc you cant go over a certain number

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thats a good idea

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i agree! i did tell my BM that and she keeps emailing me asking for 'updates'!!

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Posted by meara


my friend told me this when I was going through this same dillema with someone who wanted to bring some girl he JUST started dating. .. sure tell him he can bring as many people as he wants for 150 plus gratuity obviously I would NEVER do this . but it made me giggle

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HAHA! i wish i could say that! that's hilarious! yet so true

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Posted by allegracristina

Stef we are literally in the same boat with FH's BM!!! He had a girlfriend when we got engaged, a serious girlfriend that would have been invited had he not broken up with her 6 months ago. Now he just started dating someone he calls his 'girlfriend' and wants to bring her when we already went over all of this. I say you have to put your foot down on all the new girlfriends and boyfriends. It's too much, it's A LOT of money!!! And it's just the principle!

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Allegra - i totally agree! i just have to put my foot down and tell people no

it's so hard to do sometimes though! but you're right, it's getting WAY too expensive! e specially for people i dont even know!

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Posted by StefPalma


Allegra - i totally agree! i just have to put my foot down and tell people no

it's so hard to do sometimes though! but you're right, it's getting WAY too expensive! e specially for people i dont even know!

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There's your point-People you don't even know! Your wedding is 4 weeks away and people should not be putting you in this position. It's rude and presumptuous. Not classy people....I feel you though girl. FM me if you need to talk!! xox

Here is my thought.. My rule of thumb is only those in serious relationships can bring a guest, with the exception of the bridal party (in my case my 4 close gfs bc i am not having BMs).
It seems like you are having to need to cut back on invitees-- which is certainly your perogative.

Can you maybe tell your BMs./GM that you have already given your numbers to the hall and cant change them?

Ok they may not buy that lol. I think you need to be upfront and honest and say although you feel bad saying no you need to keep it consistent and that if you told them they could bring a date then you would need to let the other BMs/GM bring a date and you cant do that .. explain that your parents are paying for it and you dont want to take advantage of them.... blame it on your parents.. not only is it the truth but if they dont understand then they are the ones that shoudl feel bad for putting you in that ackward position not the other. way around

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Posted by VeggieBride

i think that you should invite your bridal party/ grooms men with guests regardless of if theyre in a relationship or not. I think they are the exception to that rule.

thats just my opinion though.

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i agree with this, if they werent in your bp then i would say no but i feel like bp's are the exception