and now for the TFLN and FML's
and now for the TFLN and FML's
(415):Sponsored
What's the meanest lie you ever told someone to get them out in the morning.
(212):
I have to meet my wife for breakfast.
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(518):
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said 'it's like the sour patch kids commercials.'
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(702):
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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(412):
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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(705):
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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(301):
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
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(585):
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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Today, while making some toast I noticed a strange smell coming from the toaster. I leaned over the toaster trying to see if anything was in there, at thise moment the toast was finished and it popped up. A burnt cockroach came with it and hit me in the face. FML
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Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like ****. FML
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Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML
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Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a 'secret entrance.' FML
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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said no, because she wasn't sure we would last. We've been together for over 10 years, and we have two kids age 7 and 4. FML
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Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML
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Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
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(415):Sponsored
What's the meanest lie you ever told someone to get them out in the morning.
(212):
I have to meet my wife for breakfast.
----
(518):
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said 'it's like the sour patch kids commercials.'
----
(702):
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
----
(412):
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
----
(705):
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
----
(301):
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
----
(585):
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
----
Today, while making some toast I noticed a strange smell coming from the toaster. I leaned over the toaster trying to see if anything was in there, at thise moment the toast was finished and it popped up. A burnt cockroach came with it and hit me in the face. FML
----
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like ****. FML
----
Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML
----
Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a 'secret entrance.' FML
----
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said no, because she wasn't sure we would last. We've been together for over 10 years, and we have two kids age 7 and 4. FML
----
Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML
----
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
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