and so it is... ( a bit LONG)

I am seriously having a major breakdown - I almost fainted a minute ago and went to take a walk in the park to ease a panic attack -

we are over budget and paying for this wedding is going to be nearly impossible - it is only 2 months away- my father gave me $5K toward the wedding and my FIL gave us $5K - we still owe between all of the vendors and such - $11k - this does not include limos and our rings - I actually counted how many paychecks we have left and together in the next two months to the day we would have made about $15k - I know what you are thinking great so you have the money - well no not really - we still have to LIVE - pay rent car payments food - other household expenses - I tried to borrow money from my 401K - and they told me the $20K i have in there can only be taken out for a house - I can't event take it out and pay a penalty - they just will not release it! -

so then I say ok I work for a big bank and I also have an account (associate account) with this big bank who I have slaved away for - for the last 5 freakin years - i go to see if we could get a small personal loan and they don't even bother checking my credit or trying - she asked me three questions and apparently I didn't get them right and she told me not to bother because her attempting to check will only ruin my credit! - - -

so my heart is racing and I feel really faint - I tell this to my FH and he just keeps saying 'don't worry it will all work out hun - don't go crazy' - AS IF A LEPRECHAUN IS GOING TO KNOCK ON OUR DOOR AND GIVE US A BAG OF GOLD NEXT WEEK>>>>

ugh - I am really feeling down - please tell me that there are others who are in the same position if not I swear I will be the next runaway bride!

Yes, I am in the EXACT same boat. The day just keeps getting closer and closer and I am not sure what we are going to do. FH keeps telling me the same thing 'Don't worry it will work out.' He has no suggestions on exactly how it will all work out, just some bizarre belief that it will. Not exactly helpful, you know?

Unfortunately I don't really have any advice for you, but just wanted to let you know that there is someone else in the same situation.

Our plan is to sit down this weekend and look at everything in black and white. See exactly how much more we can save and what we can cut out. Then I guess we'll take it from there.

I get mail from MBNA all the time about taking a personal loan out and paying it off in the same mo. pymts. Maybe contact them? Good luck!

ETA?: sorry, I lurk on these boards!

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Posted by Ang&Rich

Can you go back to the HR person and ask her why you cannot take out a loan against your 401(k)? Maybe you can contact the 401(k) provider directly since it is your account - you contribute, right? If the plan allows for loans then you can definitely take one for the wedding...it's not only for the purchase of a primary residence.

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the plan I am in is only a Hardship plan - no loans can be taken against it - I can only have it for hardship reasons such as a house - car - education - death - medical

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Posted by 1005bride

Yes, I am in the EXACT same boat. The day just keeps getting closer and closer and I am not sure what we are going to do. FH keeps telling me the same thing 'Don't worry it will work out.' He has no suggestions on exactly how it will all work out, just some bizarre belief that it will. Not exactly helpful, you know?

Unfortunately I don't really have any advice for you, but just wanted to let you know that there is someone else in the same situation.

Our plan is to sit down this weekend and look at everything in black and white. See exactly how much more we can save and what we can cut out. Then I guess we'll take it from there.

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Thank you for this - well we can cut our flowers down

and not get limos

I don't own any credit cards - thought I would stay away from evil cards - but it so happens to get a credit card you have to have had one - so no I can't charge anything and my credit is bad because I don't have credit - and so I can't get a card -

yes my FH - keeps saying things like 'oh your worry for nothing' - we will see.

thanks everyone

I had more than one breakdown over money before the wedding. It is crazy how much it all costs. Somehow, we got through it. Can you do things like not go out, bring lunch to work, not spend any money except on the necessities? It stinks but you would be surprised how much that kind of stuff adds up. Good luck

This might not help you now but will probably help you in the future.

You said that you never had credit and therefore cant get a card.......
if you know someone with really good credit ask them to get a card for you in their name (they dont have to actually give you the card to use) (and can cancel in a few months)
you will assume their credit score and therefore will then have credit and be able to get a card/loan/house.

I would stat with seeing where you can scale down...like the flowers, maybe you can cut some extras you added to your hall.
At the very least I would contact my vendors like the photo and say can I give you X amount now and X amount when I pick up the proofs, the video too. Scale down your tips. Remember the people who own the business and provide the service themselves don't even need to be tipped.
Do you think you can borrow from anyone else until the wedding is over?

Everything will work out, no t to sound like your FI. At me sisters I actually had to run upstairs to my hotel room and open her cards to get enough cash to pay the band!!!

We were in the same situation ---just this week we decided to postpone for a year to save a bit more money I feel SO relieved!!! I know what you are going through!!! Good luck!!! IM sure it will all work out!

FH and I were in the same situation. What we finally did was ask our parents for a loan which we would repay after the wedding. If not we would have had to cancel our honeymoon because we didn't have the money to pay for the final payment. If we had to do it all over again we would have been paying our vendors monthly instead of waiting until their schedule of payments were due. It seems they all were due at the same time. And don't worry, FH said the say thing to me...it will all work out....and now of course his follow up is: 'See...I told you it would work out' ....men

Can you delay the payment on some vendors? My photographer doesn't get the final payment until I get me proofs which is 4-6 weeks after the wedding.

I am really sorry you are going through this right before your wedding.

Big hug!

You really will get through it. I know it doesn't seem so right now, but you will. I've been unemployed since March... I've had to borrow so much money from my parents, I feel like such an idiot... But I'm making it through... and so will you. Just know that you are not the only one and it's really common to struggle at a time when the wedding is in the near future.