Annoyed!

So I am annoyed. We have friends that got engaged two years ago, had an engagement party, and we gave them a generous monetary gift. Then my FH was in their bridal party last year, and we gave them a very nice monetary gift. Now, a year later, we got an invite to their christening, and of course we will have to give another gift.

I am annoyed because for our engagement, all they gave me and FH was a subscription to Brides magazine. I know we didn't have a party, but I don't think it matters. I like to reciprocate gifts, and I feel that they should have given us something equal to what we have given them. We could really use a nice monetary gift more than a Brides subscription. And now we feel obligated to give them another gift for their baby!

BTW, FH and I just got into a fight about this. He thinks we gave them gifts because they had parties. I said NO, I'm not paying for their party!! We gave a gift because we are their friends and we are generous and happy for them!!!

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Posted by KroertGS

So I am annoyed. We have friends that got engaged two years ago, had an engagement party, and we gave them a generous monetary gift. Then my FH was in their bridal party last year, and we gave them a very nice monetary gift. Now, a year later, we got an invite to their christening, and of course we will have to give another gift.

I am annoyed because for our engagement, all they gave me and FH was a subscription to Brides magazine. I know we didn't have a party, but I don't think it matters. I like to reciprocate gifts, and I feel that they should have given us something equal to what we have given them. We could really use a nice monetary gift more than a Brides subscription. And now we feel obligated to give them another gift for their baby!

BTW, FH and I just got into a fight about this. He thinks we gave them gifts because they had parties. I said NO, I'm not paying for their party!! We gave a gift because we are their friends and we are generous and happy for them!!!

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Give them a subscrption to Parents magaine. That should get the point across

I agree about the party thing. If you had a party, they would probably have given more.
If my friends gave me gifts at my engagement party (which they did) and then one of them got engaged but didn't have a party, I would not give them a monetary gift. I probably would do the same and get a subscription or something wedding related. Just my honest opinion!

Just give what you can for the christening, don't give more than you feel you have to.

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Posted by TnM1030
Give them a subscrption to Parents magaine. That should get the point across

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LOL!! Good one Thanks ladies for your opinions!

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Posted by TnM1030

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Posted by KroertGS

So I am annoyed. We have friends that got engaged two years ago, had an engagement party, and we gave them a generous monetary gift. Then my FH was in their bridal party last year, and we gave them a very nice monetary gift. Now, a year later, we got an invite to their christening, and of course we will have to give another gift.

I am annoyed because for our engagement, all they gave me and FH was a subscription to Brides magazine. I know we didn't have a party, but I don't think it matters. I like to reciprocate gifts, and I feel that they should have given us something equal to what we have given them. We could really use a nice monetary gift more than a Brides subscription. And now we feel obligated to give them another gift for their baby!

BTW, FH and I just got into a fight about this. He thinks we gave them gifts because they had parties. I said NO, I'm not paying for their party!! We gave a gift because we are their friends and we are generous and happy for them!!!

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Give them a subscrption to Parents magaine. That should get the point across

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hahaha love it!

I like the Parents Magazine idea. I was actually thinking this before someone posted but I thought nah maybe it's rude. I was thinking the Parents magazine subscription for a year may be too expensive too! haha Makes me laugh. DEFINITELY do this!!

Seriously, some people are just cheap though, so you just have to deal. Give what you want for the christening and let it go, it's probably best for your sanity and happiness not to worry about what they'll give or haven't give. Be a better person than them. Life is to short to stress about the little things... even though it is annoying, especially when it seems they're not hard up, but just cheap, and not very considerate. Maybe they will give a better gift for the wedding or if you have a shower. People do tend not to give gifts if you don't have a party. But if they don't, try not to stress to much, it's not worth it for a few bucks in the end.

Persoanlly, If you give a gift to a friend for any occasion its because that is what you want to give them, you should never give a gift thinking your going to get it back in return.
JMO

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Posted by Royalgem21

I agree about the party thing. If you had a party, they would probably have given more.
If my friends gave me gifts at my engagement party (which they did) and then one of them got engaged but didn't have a party, I would not give them a monetary gift. I probably would do the same and get a subscription or something wedding related. Just my honest opinion!

Just give what you can for the christening, don't give more than you feel you have to.

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I agree with Tania...A lot of people do the same thing, give for a party but don't have one themselves and don't get something when they get engaged. I know that you are annoyed and believe me I understand your frustration, but I do not think they have bad manners, just being like a majority of the rest of us that don't think they are doing anything wrong. Sorry

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Posted by SoonToBeEMM

Persoanlly, If you give a gift to a friend for any occasion its because that is what you want to give them, you should never give a gift thinking your going to get it back in return.
JMO

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I do agree with this, but I also think it's rude to keep having parties at fancy places and expecting gifts without giving anything back to your friends in return.

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Posted by KroertGS

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Posted by SoonToBeEMM

Persoanlly, If you give a gift to a friend for any occasion its because that is what you want to give them, you should never give a gift thinking your going to get it back in return.
JMO

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I do agree with this, but I also think it's rude to keep having parties at fancy places and expecting gifts without giving anything back to your friends in return.

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You always have the option to decline the invitation. Don't sweat it, it's not worth it!

Some people like to have parties...so all you can do is either go along with it or decline...

i see both sides on this one. i will admit, we have been to engagement parties and given gifts but knew that since we decided not to have an e-party a gift would not be reciprocated and we were fine with that. i do think that the shower gift cold have been better...but def send parents magazine as a gift so maybe it opens their eyes!!!

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Posted by TnM1030

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Posted by KroertGS

So I am annoyed. We have friends that got engaged two years ago, had an engagement party, and we gave them a generous monetary gift. Then my FH was in their bridal party last year, and we gave them a very nice monetary gift. Now, a year later, we got an invite to their christening, and of course we will have to give another gift.

I am annoyed because for our engagement, all they gave me and FH was a subscription to Brides magazine. I know we didn't have a party, but I don't think it matters. I like to reciprocate gifts, and I feel that they should have given us something equal to what we have given them. We could really use a nice monetary gift more than a Brides subscription. And now we feel obligated to give them another gift for their baby!

BTW, FH and I just got into a fight about this. He thinks we gave them gifts because they had parties. I said NO, I'm not paying for their party!! We gave a gift because we are their friends and we are generous and happy for them!!!

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Give them a subscrption to Parents magaine. That should get the point across

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Our closest friends had an engagement party and we gave them a monetary gift.

We are not having an engagement party and are not expecting gifts. We got a couple of things from family members, which was really nice and we don't think it's necessary to have a party just to receive gifts, nor would I expect a gift without having a party.

I would just chalk it up to you guys not having a party. My guess is that if you guys were throwing a party, they would try to counter the cost of having them there by giving you a gift. With no party, there is no deficit to make up. They probably think the wedding is a better opportunity to contribute financially.

Just guessing.