Another follow-up to my problem
I wrote before about my BM having anorexia before and what to do. I have no doubt that she needs help and I intend on talking to her. But I am still confused about what to do about the wedding. Here is some background.
I think she is actually depressed and not just anorexic, if that makes sense. She doesn't eat because she sleeps 12+ hours a day, every day and shuts herself in her home. She can't even handle her apartment anymore. The wakeup call was my bachelorette party when she got so sick and could not take care of herself. It ruined the latter half of the evening.
I honestly DO NOT think she can handle being a BM in the wedding. We were planning on sleeping in the same room with another BM and my MOH the night before the wedding but if she gets sick NONE of us can take care of her. WE need sleep. It's a long day, from 9am-12am. If she sleeps 12+ hours a day how can she possibly handle it.
She vomits for any and every reason and I see her sick more than I see her healthy.
She's OOT and 4 hours away so if she gets sick she can't just go home. I really think she needs to be in a hospital but can't force her.
Is it reasonable to give her the $$$ back for her dress and ask that she be a guest at the wedding? It would be less stress for her and a shorter day. She can barely take care of herself these days and I can't be worrying about her. IF she came as a guest, she would NEED her own guest to watch over her. I know that she will be completely mad at me but she needs to know that she has a problem. I CANNOT have her sick at my wedding. Too many people have put a ton of money and effort into this day.
Do you think I'm out of line for asking her to be a guest?
I think she is actually depressed and not just anorexic, if that makes sense. She doesn't eat because she sleeps 12+ hours a day, every day and shuts herself in her home. She can't even handle her apartment anymore. The wakeup call was my bachelorette party when she got so sick and could not take care of herself. It ruined the latter half of the evening.
I honestly DO NOT think she can handle being a BM in the wedding. We were planning on sleeping in the same room with another BM and my MOH the night before the wedding but if she gets sick NONE of us can take care of her. WE need sleep. It's a long day, from 9am-12am. If she sleeps 12+ hours a day how can she possibly handle it.
She vomits for any and every reason and I see her sick more than I see her healthy.
She's OOT and 4 hours away so if she gets sick she can't just go home. I really think she needs to be in a hospital but can't force her.
Is it reasonable to give her the $$$ back for her dress and ask that she be a guest at the wedding? It would be less stress for her and a shorter day. She can barely take care of herself these days and I can't be worrying about her. IF she came as a guest, she would NEED her own guest to watch over her. I know that she will be completely mad at me but she needs to know that she has a problem. I CANNOT have her sick at my wedding. Too many people have put a ton of money and effort into this day.
Do you think I'm out of line for asking her to be a guest?
