Another invitation question

I had posted this into another thread, but then thought it's sort of a different issue, so I'm starting a new thread. Sorry for the duplication! Any/all suggestions are appreciated!

Here is my dilemma:

FH and I are paying for close to 1/2 of the wedding cost, and my parents are paying close to 1/2 (they are covering all reception costs, we are covering everything else, except for the rehearsal dinner, which FILs are paying for). So we want to include everyone's names. At first we thought it would be best to say something like:

My Name
and
FH Name
together with their parents
Mr. & Mrs. Names of my parents
Mr. & Mrs. Names of his parents
Invite you to share in the joy... (etc, etc)

Now, I know how traditional my dad is and I am thinking it might start world war 3 if I don't do the standard

Mr. & Mrs. My Parents
request the honor (blah blah)
of
My Name
and
FH Name
son of Mr. & Mrs. His Parents

FH and I really like Option #1 more, but don't think it is worth the battle. Thing is, I have NO CLUE how to broach this subject with my parents. I don't want it to appear as if I am asking their permission, because we are not, particularly since we are paying for 1/2 of this thing ourselves. On the other hand, there is always the (small) chance that my folks won't react as badly as I fear to option #1 and, if I don't ask somehow, I might end up picking a wording option (#2) that I don't really like, to prevent a war that never would have happened anyway.

What do you all think? I'm really stuck on this one.

That can be very touchy. It really depends on your parents' personalities. In my case, we're paying for the whole wedding (minus the photographer and RD), but put 'together with our parents' and didn't name any of them - they were all fine with it. You have to try and figure out how your Dad will be and just make a decision - sorry I'm not much help!

Just to mention, there is a third way to word it that I think works well:

Mr & Mrs Your Parents
Mr & Mrs His Parents
invite you to share the joy
in the marriage of their children
Your Name
&
His Name

I am having the same problem - my dad is very traditional! I like - together with their parents, X and X, request the honor of your presence.... but I am afraid to approach my dad with the subject. I dont' want to hurt feelings!

Sounds like we are in the same boat, Sandy! (Not to mention on the same timeline...my wedding's July 6!). Part of me wants to email my mom the first version and tell her that is what we are thinking of doing and see if she has any feedback. I don't want this to be a big battle, but, on the other hand, I don't want to NOT ask and just go with the 'safer' choice because that's not how I really want the invites to read. And putting both parents' names on top doesn't help much, either, because FH's parents are hardly paying for anything. We want their names on, too, but not at the top. ARGH, what to do?!!!

Hi Alison.

Are FH parents pitching in as well? Just curious b/c I have a similar dilemma and am not sure what to do (my parents are paying 1/2, us 1/4 and his parents 1/4)

Let me know how it works out!

BTW did you get your invites here or in LI?

I had a similar problem too. My parents are very traditional and wanted

mr and mrs x requets the honour of your presence...

my name
to
my husband....

thats what we did. his parents didn't care. mine did. I had a few regrets since they did help, but my parents paid for the church and reception hall, which is really the wedding..his mom paid for rehearsal and flowers...who knows....just be able to not have regrets...but after a few months nobody even remembers...