Another surprise RUINED!

A just asked a friend of mine, who isn't coming to our wedding due to Rosh Hashanah Holiday, if she was coming to my shower. She thought because I knew that I was having one, that I knew when it was and said 'I can't because it's Sat'... she's Orthodox Jewish, and has Shabbat Saturdays (where they can't do normal things until sunset). Then she tried to cover it up by saying 'oh, but I'm not telling you WHICH Sat'.

Yea, whatever! Thanks for nothing. You can't come to any of our celebrations, and you had to ruin the surprise!
ARGH!!!!

Is it really that hard to keep something a surprise from me? Why is it that I find out EVERYTHING!!?
1st the surprise work shower, and now that main one, too!?

ARGHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHH!!! So, no surprises for you girl!! Everyone just keeps blowing it up for you girl!!

What the heck!! I feel bad for you! I KNOW how pissed you are!!

Now you get too look extra pretty!!

Just act surprised, so this way whomever planned it for u, won't be upset...

but u get to look all dolled up

Yea, I know there's a bright side, but I just know that my girls worked hard on surprising me (I was very excited about that, too), that I'm a upset that someone who's not even participating dropped the bomb. Argh...

I am really sorry.

In your friends defense she may not have realized that it was a surprise shower. One of my friends at work that is orthodox did something similar because they don't have surprise showers in amoung her family or friends.

That really stinks that your surprise was ruined. At the same time, maybe it's not the best idea to start asking people if they are coming to your shower if you want to be surprised. It's natural for people who can't come to follow up with a reason why, without intentionally meaning to spoil things.

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time no matter what.

I knew when my shower was but EVERYTHING was a surprise. Down to the place, favors, food, guests....don't be down about it. Just be glad that you'll look extra special.

This is why my mother has made it clear that my shower will NOT be a surprise. She knows that pretty much everyone ends up finding out when theirs is, and she just doesn't want to deal with trying to keep it secret. So I will be involved in the planning with her, although I'm sure that if I said that I wanted all the details to be a surprise, I could.

I think my mom got burned when she tried to throw a surprise birthday party for my dad one year; he came home early from work that day, as she was setting up the house. So he opened the door for all the guests as they started arriving, and surprised them!

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Posted by CaCRmr

I knew when my shower was but EVERYTHING was a surprise. Down to the place, favors, food, guests....don't be down about it. Just be glad that you'll look extra special.

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You're right. I know nothing else, so so what if only the date has been revealed!? Thanks for making me feel better.

As for my friend, she knew it was a surprise... it says so on the invitation. But it's true that when giving an explanation, one might slip. However, I would try extra hard because I would automatically know to draw a red flag when the bride starts questioning.

Practicing my surprised face:
or or
then followed by
and then

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Posted by chichila15

A just asked a friend of mine, who isn't coming to our wedding due to Rosh Hashanah Holiday, if she was coming to my shower. She thought because I knew that I was having one, that I knew when it was and said 'I can't because it's Sat'... she's Orthodox Jewish, and has Shabbat Saturdays (where they can't do normal things until sunset). Then she tried to cover it up by saying 'oh, but I'm not telling you WHICH Sat'.

Yea, whatever! Thanks for nothing. You can't come to any of our celebrations, and you had to ruin the surprise!
ARGH!!!!

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Oh, that's not fair to get mad at her - YOU asked her!! If she had just said 'no' you would have likely pressed her on why.

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Posted by eogara
Oh, that's not fair to get mad at her - YOU asked her!! If she had just said 'no' you would have likely pressed her on why.

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probably. I was just upset about finding out, but I'm over it.

Ughhh - So sorry that it's not a surprise anymore. You don't know the exact date or location still, right?

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Posted by Ang&Rich

Ughhh - So sorry that it's not a surprise anymore. You don't know the exact date or location still, right?

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Well, I know that it's THIS Sat, only because of process of elimination --- can't be the week before, nor labor day weekend, so this Sat is the last Sat available before the wedding).

It's ok though... I only know that it's Sat. Don't know who'll be there, nor what the theme is, nor the games to be played, etc, etc...

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Posted by Karacg

WHy did you ask her? She probably thought you knew the date....and feels bad about screwing up. That happened to me too....

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I asked her only because I was wondering if she wouldn't participate it anything wedding-related for me/us. If I knew that she would ruin it, I wouldn't have asked her anything at all, or started the question with 'Though I know NO details about the shower, I know I'm having one. Will you be able to join that?'

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Posted by chichila15

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Posted by eogara
Oh, that's not fair to get mad at her - YOU asked her!! If she had just said 'no' you would have likely pressed her on why.

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probably. I was just upset about finding out, but I'm over it.

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Nah, I understand. It's one thing on top of the other. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.