Anyone dealing with this??

Anyone dealing with this??

I am trying to forget about the fact that my FH was married before. It only lasted 8 months but I hate it!! He's being really good and not saying, 'at my first wedding or when we booked this.' But i can't stop thinking about it!!! I always wanted my wedding to be a first and unique experience for me and my FH. I know there's nothing I can do about it but I can't get it out of my head.

Thanks for letting me vent

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

I would have a hard time also I think. Anytime you need to vent we are here.

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

i understand how you feel...but maybe the reason he isnt saying anything is bc he isnt thinking those things...someone i know got married and had this crazy expensive showy wedding and the marriage lasted 6 mos....his second wedding was much more down to earth only about 100 people......and he seemed so mcuh happier that day then he did at his first wedding......its not about all the fancy stuff, and the food and the flowers...etc its about you and him and your feelings for each other.......the love between you will make the day amazing!!! try not to worry about the past.....good luck!

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

Oh you sound exactly like me...

I had a hard time for a long time with the fact that my FH was married before. When I would think about it I would get upset and take it out on him. It's really hard sometimes because we are going through the annulment process and sometimes things come up and he even has to talk to her

I stopped when he sat me down and told me that he is sorry that it makes me so upset but the past is the past and there is nothing we can do about it. Me being mad only made him feel bad about his past and then no one was happy. He said he is not with anyone else other than me and that he is with me because he loves me and he wants to marry me.

I have kept his feelings in mind and now I hardly think about it at all.

Good luck, and if you ever need someone to talk to about going through this please feel free to FM me. I would be glad to talk about it more.

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

I totally know how you feel. But my FH doesnt even acknowledge that he has been married before. Actually mine is still right now... we are the last stage of the divorce. But i still think about it. that i wanted this to be a special thing for the two of us. But sometimes things jsut arent what you plan to be. We jsut have to remember they arent married any more and for a reason! Try not to think about it becuase it will drive you crazy!

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

Thanks ladies...my FH never mentions it either. I don't get mad at him or take anything out on him it's just something I kept to myself. But it is good to talk about it and know that MANY MANY people have been through this and have the life they've always wanted.

Thanks for listening...it could always be worse right!?!?

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

My FI has been married before too (only lasted 3mths)...but it doesnt bother me because I know that this time is for real..plus his ex-wife was a total B i t c h! Try not to let it stress you out.. I know its easier said then done..but really, try not to stress it.

Re: Anyone dealing with this??

Keep your eye on the surprise! You are getting married to the man you love. You are planning a beautiful ceremony followed by a beautiful reception. You are planning your future and your lives together. Look to the future. The past can't be changed we can only learn from it.