I have a deadbeat bridesmaid who doesn't seem to have any interest in my wedding at all.
Should I demote her and swap her out for another?
Anyone have any experience with this?
dna143
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
Get rid of her!! I have someone that is actin the same way and i am gonna tell her she is bein replaced...u want someone who will help u when u need it and be interested otherwise it will jsut get worse....trust me ive seen it wit other peoples weddings GOOD LUCK!
FDWedding07
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I am in the same boat except I have 2. (One of them my MOH) I have not done anything about it. I keep hoping it will all work out.
patticakes
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I wish I could swap my MOH (my sister). She is a hateful person and I wish I had never even asked.
M&S Sept12006
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Katie&Chris2006
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
If you are disappointed now, I would demote her before it gets even closer. This is your special day and no one should bring you down!
bridesmaid2
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I was in a wedding at the end of June and the bride had alot of trouble with one of the BM. When she was thinking of asking her she had a gut feeling, which she should have gone with. This BM did not go to any of the showers, never offered help, she was the only local BM. Never came to pick up her dress and still has yet to pay for it. Came to the B Party, sat in a corner and pouted. It was hell from the getgo and I felt so sorry for my friend to have to deal with this all. I would have liked to rip the girlshead off, BUT it was not my wedding day. It all worked out in the end, but if you feel you should let one girl step down, or give herthe boot, do it otherwise you may regret it later.
I just don't get it!? What is wrong with all these people? I keep reading over and over that brides are having trouble with thier MOH or BM's. I am only having a MOH and she is a peach! I know that I am lucky. But honestly, I have never treated anyone in the manner in which some of these people treat you! I'm sorry ..... don't just kick them out of the wedding party, kick them out of your life. It's too short to be bothered with people who can't be bothered with you. Anyone who has ever had anybit of good news I am always so very happy for them and I try to do whatever I can for them bc it's not always about me! Someone needs to smarten these party people up and teach them that it's not always all about them!
This is about the Bride and Groom and what an honor it is to be asked to be a part of it!
Good Luck ladies! I hope things work out for all of you!
angelinasingleton
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I haven't had to do it, but I have been struggling with a decision I made to make a friend a bridesmaid in my wedding. The good thing is she and I haven't really discussed it. The only advice I can offer for anyone who is reconsidering a bad BM decision-- sit her down and tell her how you feel. Give her your honesty and expectations... Being a bridesmaid requires work and above all EFFORT. You have to let her know what is required of her and if she decides that it is too much for her to handle then (politely) state that you may need to choose another bridesmaid. Realize there really is no kind way to tell someone you no longer want them in your wedding party, but if you can lessen the blow, salvaging your friendship will be much easier. And as others have already stated: It is YOUR wedding day.
MissMelissa
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
i demoted my moh right out of my wedding!!! it happens, its a time when u find out who ur true friends are. do not hesitate to give her the boot
12-3Princess
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
Posted by pauls bride
i demoted my moh right out of my wedding!!! it happens, its a time when u find out who ur true friends are. do not hesitate to give her the boot
exactly - I 100% agree you find out who your friends are... I wanted to kick two out of my wedding but never ended up doing it. One, of them, I'm glad I didn't because we are still good friends and actually, when I tried to kick her out we had a long talk and she opened up a lot and I forgave her, the other I never addressed the problem with because there was no point, she's so selfish, and in the end, I am no longer friends with her for good reason.
AeroJenn
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I had 2 MOHs and just recently demoted one. I felt so relieved as soon as I made the decision to do it! The other girls are right--you dont need this stress--its YOUR day!
mskittynj
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
It is VERY important for you to have good people suurounding you on your wedding day, who care deeeply about you do not hesitate and get rid of her!!!! XOXOXO Kitty
FrogGirl0917
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
I did. She was a friend from college, and then after i asked her to be a bridesmaid she went into the peace corps, so she dropped out. but then she ecame back and i hadn't replaced her yet so she was back in. then she moved to portland, and i was like there is no way she's going to be able to do this - and anyway i was already having second thoughts about her being a bm. lucky for me she was on the otherside of the country so it gave me a great opportunity to bump her....i just appealed to her cheap side and so it was pracitically 'her' idea - or at least htats how she sees it. she actually thanked me! and the girl li replaced her with is the best! i don't know whhat my bp would be like without her. it was definately one of the best things i've done
dinedaaka
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Re: Anyone demote a bridesmaid?
Well actually my cousin demoted herself. I know she's not good at planning and she's such a hater so I asked her to be a Matron of Honor (she is common law married) alongside my old college friend who would be Maid of Honor. I literally told her just stand there and look good, because I know she is a mess with anything else. She got offended because she felt she was playing second fiddle and dropped out. She says she knows she doesn't know much about planning weddings but she could learn. LEARN ON MY WEDDING! ?? Oh no, you don't. I told her just because you have a Master's in Education, that doesn't mean you have the attention to detail that is required to be MOH.
Honestly, I feel that my college friend is the best person for the job. She is not a hater, has an upbeat personality and pays attention to detail. I am happy with my choice.
