anyone else get annoyed when

joeslauren Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:44 AM

anyone else get annoyed when

people ask 'when r u having a baby?' dh and i have been married just under a year and i am sooo NOT ttc just yet! nor do i think we will be ready to for a few years! am i the only one not trying? do i have years of that same question ahead of me or wil it subside when they see that i am not prego after just a year? i just wanna enjoy my marriage for a little bit. my grand,mother is the WORST offender! i could kill sometimes! i'm 25 and dh is 8 yrs older than me.. but STILL!

Jordan Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:48 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

First it's...when are you getting engaged? Then...when are you getting married? Then...when are you buying a house? Then...when are you having babies? It never ends - people LOVE to live vicariously through others. To answer your question, YES - it annoys the sh it out of me. My mother is hounding my 26 y/o sister to have a baby. I think it's so da mn rude - no one knows whether she can even conceive or not - do they even take that into consideration when they're being so intrusive???

joeslauren Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:54 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

Oh I know! That's what kills me! Bc God forbid I cant for some reason... then what? Is the next Q going to be 'when are you going to adopt?' or you think they'll get it then? Oh - sooo annoying! It's like just leave me the heck alone already! Sorry for the vent!

michele31 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:56 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

I think it is RUDE to ask anyone that because a) it is NONE of your business and b) you have no idea if someone is having medical problems TTC or not, perhaps they have had a miscarriage.
If someone asks next time just say 'How do you know that my husband and I are not having a problem and now you have just said something very upsetting to me' That will cure them of this.

joeslauren Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:02 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

That's classic Michele! I'll have to give that one a try. It's just so wrong to assume that one MUST have a baby immediately following marriage! I know of many people that don't even want children. That's not my case, but just BACK OFF! Hahahaha

HeatherandNick Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:03 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

Lauren - it doesn' end after that. All I hear now is 'its time for another one!'. They don't even ask me anymore, they TELL me

joeslauren Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

Just plain old RUDE! Heather - I would tell them that they have to take on the obligation on babysitting at least once a week if they wanted another!

HeatherandNick Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:11 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

good idea - I will have to try that

Sassy Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:25 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

YES - so annoying, and I've only been married a MONTH

Marnles Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:27 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

I'm lucky - I haven't had it too bad.

But then again, my brother has a 2 year old, which keeps my mom in check, and my MIL isn't into babies, which helps a lot (but won't help when we need a sitter)...

We are TTC next year anyway...

MrsTC Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:29 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

lol we are not even married yet and we just rented a 2 BR apt.....last night my dad says to me 'Oh good, that can be the baby's room!' LOL

I was like 'Whoa, slow down Dad!'

Meg9-20-02 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:30 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

I know how you feel!! DH's family does it to me all the time! I'm only 25 as well and DH is 8 yrs older so they are trying to rush us. I just try to ignore it at this point.

ILT1221 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:37 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

I get annoyed and not only that people give me the 'you're not getting younger' schpiel. When I got off the plane from my honeymoon I happened to be sick from the ride and my MIL was already squealing in the airport your pregnant! I was like no I am just sick from the water! Ugh!

joeslauren Posted: Jul 02, 2003 10:45 AM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

Thank GOD I have people who can relate! It's so annoying! Thanks girls - and Meghan - that's what I go thru ALL THE TIME! Bc he's going on 33 etc etc. It's different for men though I feel.

Claud2001 Posted: Jul 02, 2003 08:38 PM

Re: anyone else get annoyed when

I agree that people need to tred lightly on this issue....there are so many reasons why a couple may not be ready or in some cases, cannot have a child of their own.

But, I would not call your own grandmother rude for asking this question. You need to develop an understanding of the generational differences that exist between you and your grandmother. She is NOT rude. Back in her day, the only reason people got married was to make a family. Women did not always get to 'fall in love' with the man they chose - some marriages were arranged, and others were just convenient.

When DH and I told our grandparents that we were PG, DH's grandfather said simply, 'Oh, that's natural.' Do I think he is rude? NO! I think he's responding in a way that feels appropriate to him. My grandfather explains it to me in this way - years ago, families could sometimes measure the happiness in a newlywed marriage by how soon the couple was able to conceive a child. If it happened soon after the wedding, it meant they were having 'relations' and getting along in their married life well. There were a lot less fertility problems years ago b/c women did not wait until they were in their late 20's/early 30's to marry. And people didn't talk about their problems as openly either.