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Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Sandradv121 Posted:

Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

I just got an earful from a friend about how I never go out. When I told her that its hard when your paying for a wedding and trying to buy a house she just said well you don't even try. And this is like the 3rd friend that just doesn't get it. I mean grant it, they don't have the money woes that I have right now, but its not like I try to avoid them. We really can't afford to go out and drop money on clubs or bars right now. Dinner is usually good for me because its not a$100 night and I can swing it without busting my budget but they want to go out out. And that I honestly can't do right now. Not when I have payments due and a lot of changes coming our way.

Like look, my one friend has birthday a few weeks after mine. I will be 4 months almost at that point from my wedding. She and my other friend suggested AC for her bday and my one friend turns around is like 'oh you know Sandra won't go...'. And than I'm like ' its not like I don't want to go, I can't afford an expense like that right now' and than its the whole well you don't do $hit with us bit. Gimme a break!!! Clearly I got upset because I don't even think i am celebrating my bday this year/I may even skip it. B/c money is tight, esp since FH wants to get a house in 2 months.

I hate not having a normal social life. I went from parties every weekend to blockbuster nights. I don't mind it b/c in the end its worth it. We need to stash money now. And with me looking to make a career change and to buy a house I know January will be esp hard.

I'm just sick of my friends not thinking before they speak. Maybe one day when they get engaged they will understand. And I would never do that to them. Because its damn hard right now.

The closer we get to the wedding the harder it will be. I know. I have 2 other weddings around mine, plus I have to pay off my vendors. But I am just disgusted with the catty nonsense these chicks throw my way. What dinners not enough??? Excuse me. You see my brown bag it everyday doesn't that say anything????? I don't shop like I use to anymore what does that tell you? Oh oh or how about that I still call to see how your doing but you don't answer b/c I won't go clubbing with you...and lie to my face about it.

I'm sorry I'm venting but I'm rather pissed at them. Its frustrating...
asg450 Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

That sux, I know what you mean. I used to get so annoyed when my cousins didn't want to understand why I didn't want to go to expensive places anymore. Just try and ignore them and keep saving your money.

GiannisWifey Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

OHHHHHHHH i have heard this from several people and u know what, 2 of them who would bish at me got engaged right after and now, I DONT HEAR A PEEP FROM THEM!!!!!!!

Unless they are in your position, its hard to understand. I think I used to be the same way when I wasn't engaged thinking people were exaggerating and being cheap, BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lil OC Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Aww I'm sorry. I feel your pain. I can't do a lot of the things I used to do too, and it's difficult for friends to understand. You're not alone, don't worry!

Sandradv121 Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Its funny you say that Haroula because my married friends are fine with us not going out. Because they barely go out. They either have babies or they are renovating their house or they just don't want to go. Then we get invited over. But the single girls or non-engaged girls don't get it. And the guilt trip friggin suxs. Like I'm royally disgusted with them right now.

GiannisWifey Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

i hear it all the time.....'ohhh u and g are shady' UMMM NO. its called a downpayment?????
grkbarbie Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

i know its soo cliche but.. your REAL friends shouldnt be giving you a rough time!! but how much do u spend when u go out with them? if i go out with the girls that arent gold diggers and users, i spend about 30$ tops. but either way, they shoudlnt be hurting u like that.

does a part of u not want to go out with them as much cuz youre at a diff point in your life where youre just not in the moood?
AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Your preaching to the choir!

That's why I have friends to do different things and only 1 or 2 of them are in all groups. I have my 'I wanna go out to clubs and dance till 3am people', my 'lets go to jillians or bowling or something fun but not out out' people, and then the 'lets stay in and play video games, cards, board games and order a pizza people'.

One group never really understands the others when it comes to $.
Sandradv121 Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Yea well lets see if I invite them over when we get the house... friggin peter pan syndrome girls I swear. Like grow up already...talk to me when you have to pay for something...

AngnShaun Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Posted by grkbarbie

i know its soo cliche but.. your REAL friends shouldnt be giving you a rough time!! but how much do u spend when u go out with them? if i go out with the girls that arent gold diggers and users, i spend about 30$ tops. but either way, they shoudlnt be hurting u like that.

does a part of u not want to go out with them as much cuz youre at a diff point in your life where youre just not in the moood?


i agree...
Sandradv121 Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Posted by grkbarbie

i know its soo cliche but.. your REAL friends shouldnt be giving you a rough time!! but how much do u spend when u go out with them? if i go out with the girls that arent gold diggers and users, i spend about 30$ tops. but either way, they shoudlnt be hurting u like that.

does a part of u not want to go out with them as much cuz youre at a diff point in your life where youre just not in the moood?


I want to go out. Lord knows I miss dancing and drinking and living it up. But these girls party it up too. Like lets drop $200 a night b/c we can.

$200 pays for my makeup day of. Or is a tip.

See dinner is cool bc its $30-$50 and that won't damage us. more than $100 than I might as well call myself foolish.

My wedding is costing a lot and I know this. This is what we wanted. We expected to spend a lot with the honeymoon.

I just wish someone would open their little little eyes and make them see that the real world is an entirely different ball game for some.

I'm fortunate enough that FH knows what he is doing. He hates putting me in this position, but he said we need to frugal so we don't go anywhere near a red zone.
grkbarbie Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

let them bish then. worry about you and your fh.. everything else is replacable..even your friends lol.. if ppl were giving me that much of a rough time i wouldnt care for them..

Sandradv121 Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

You know what it is... I'm sick of hearing it. Like how many times do I need to tell them?
Well I guess after the wedding I'll know who my true friends are...
latinaj Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

ugh i guess this happens to all of us....

its hard..ppl only understand when they face the same situation!
AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Posted by Sandradv121

You know what it is... I'm sick of hearing it. Like how many times do I need to tell them?
Well I guess after the wedding I'll know who my true friends are...


After awhile I would say cool yeah i'll come out. I'd go out, buy like 2-3 drinks TOPS which is like $30 and then have that be that. I'll stay out obv but if they get mad i'm not spending anymore $ i'd say, 'I told you i'm saving. But if you want you can buy me drinks.'
CappyGirl Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

Posted by Sandradv121

Posted by grkbarbie

i know its soo cliche but.. your REAL friends shouldnt be giving you a rough time!! but how much do u spend when u go out with them? if i go out with the girls that arent gold diggers and users, i spend about 30$ tops. but either way, they shoudlnt be hurting u like that.

does a part of u not want to go out with them as much cuz youre at a diff point in your life where youre just not in the moood?


I want to go out. Lord knows I miss dancing and drinking and living it up. But these girls party it up too. Like lets drop $200 a night b/c we can.

$200 pays for my makeup day of. Or is a tip.

See dinner is cool bc its $30-$50 and that won't damage us. more than $100 than I might as well call myself foolish.

My wedding is costing a lot and I know this. This is what we wanted. We expected to spend a lot with the honeymoon.

I just wish someone would open their little little eyes and make them see that the real world is an entirely different ball game for some.

I'm fortunate enough that FH knows what he is doing. He hates putting me in this position, but he said we need to frugal so we don't go anywhere near a red zone.


You are thinking completely maturely and with a level-head - esp with the $200 example. You are totally right. It is frustrating.
StaceyWill Posted:

Re: Anyone else have friends who just don't care about your $$ woes?

This has been the story of my life, since we got engaged. I would love to go out every weekend, like we used to, but financially we can't. And no one seems to understand that

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