Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
nov04LIbride
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Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
I was planning on having both my parents walk me down the aisle. They divorced while I was in college, and since then I have not kept in touch closely with my father, but am very close with my mother. Still, I thought I would have both walk me down, since some of my father's family would be there and I thought it might be odd if I didn't (I know, I know, it's my day, but I don't want to field a lot of questions about why he didn't walk me down).
Well, last week was my birthday, and he didn't even acknowledge it. No call, no card, no gift...And he only has 2 kids, me and my older brother. He is not helping out paying for the wedding at all, and he certainly has the money. But, he did pay for my college tuition, support us growing up...I don't know what to do.
suven
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
My dad helped pay for college (as long as I went to the college of his choice)
He decided that he did not want to attend the wedding (we had a huge fight 10 months before the wedding and never reconciled)
his family did not attend.
My brother walked me down the aisle...
No one asked any questions on my wedding day. Only now (2 months after) are people starting to enquire about my father...
suezboss
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
Hi! I am in ALMOST THE EXACT situation!
Parents divorced in HS... dad was around in HS and college.. paid 1/2 of college etc...
Since then a few years ago he moved to Florida. only saw him once since he moved there. When I called to tell him I was engaged he seemed happy... but never sent a card, let alone a gift! For the past few years have not got cards for my b-day as well! (neither has my younger sister)... Dad had re-maried in 1992, had a 3rd daughter who is 10 now. He since divorced his 2nd wife (5 years ago), whom I am still close with, and my half-sister who will be a part of my bridal party! Dad has not seen either of them in 4 years!
What to do!?!?!?!?! I think I am going to either walk down alone or have my mom walk me down. My step-dad has been a bigger part of my life as an adult than my real dad, so if I did have my mom and 'real' dad walk me down, I think it would hurt my step-father's feelings. so maybe just my mom?? what do you think?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh.
I share your pain.
BlazeSyth
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
I'm walking down alone.. if he doesnt like it, he doesn't have to come!
I havent told him yet tho, how to tell him is the big question. I only see him 1 or 2x per year.
I guess I'll call him in the next couple of weeks.
Nora101004
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
I wouldn't do anything you'd regret later. Maybe have your dad walk you the first half and your mom the second, this way she can give you away. Or just have both do it all the way. You don't know what the future will hold- don't want to get kicked out of the will!!
nov04LIbride
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
Why are dads so difficult!? I'm glad I am not alone in this. suven, mine did the same thing to me about paying for college tuition--told us both he would pay only if we went to specific schools. He lives upstate, but I only have seen him about 2 times in the past two years. And when I brought FH to meet him 2 years ago, they went for a walk outside the house, and he introduced my FH to one of his co-workers as a 'visitor to the home.' ***!? Why not daughter's boyfriend!? He hasn't remarried, so it isn't like he has other kids/another wife to be occupied with....He is just so selfish, and never asks me about the wedding, no engagement gift or anything....As a matter of fact, only asks about my ex from college (now a dr.), to ask if I am still in contact with him! And why don't I give him I call! I am like, I am engaged to someone else Dad!!
Charly
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
You are definitely not alone! I am tormented daily by this decision. My dad is not a bad person, but we are not close. He still hasn't officially acknowledged my engagement, yet he automatically assumes he is walking me.
He has not contributed anything towards my schooling, wedding, etc. BUT I still feel that if I don't let him (with my mom) his family will be confused and he will be embarrassed. My FH says my brother should be the one to do the honors since he has always been the man in my life and so do I...but I don't want my day to be full of drama b/c of a 5 minute walk!
nov04LIbride
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
Posted by Oct04Bride
You are definitely not alone! I am tormented daily by this decision. My dad is not a bad person, but we are not close. He still hasn't officially acknowledged my engagement, yet he automatically assumes he is walking me.
He has not contributed anything towards my schooling, wedding, etc. BUT I still feel that if I don't let him (with my mom) his family will be confused and he will be embarrassed. My FH says my brother should be the one to do the honors since he has always been the man in my life and so do I...but I don't want my day to be full of drama b/c of a 5 minute walk!
EXACTLY!! Especially because I feel like my grandparent's (his parents) really wouldn't understand, since I think in their generation having someone else walk you down when your father is there would be unheard of. It's so hard to please everyone, and I don't want all this drama if I don't involve him at all...But he just isn't a big part of my life, and when I think about what the handing off symbolically means, I don't feel like it should be him doing it...
nov04LIbride
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
bump
oakslady
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
my dad isnt walking me or attending - he skipped town when i was about 4 i dont think he deserves to be there - my uncle is walking me down the aisle
Sweetpea130000
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
My dad isn't walking me down either, and he will be there. I haven't told him yet, but honestly don't think that he deserves the honor since he left when i was 9 months old. I still love him and still talk to him and see him a couple of times a year, but my mother has been there a lot more for me emotionally and physically than he has.
He didn't pay for any schooling and I am not even sure I want to dance with him at the wedding, any thoughts?
belleboyd
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
I guess I should be grateful I don't have this drama.... my dad didn't WANT to walk me down the aisle. Part of me is completely hurt by this and part of me is like 'it figures, you weren't there for my life anyway'.
So -- even though he'll be there...I am walking by myself.
I don't know if this helps any, but it's my opinion that if your dad wasn't supportive of your life (however you define that) ... ask someone to walk with you that WAS or IS. Because really - that's what this whole 'walk to another life' business is about. JMO!
Sweetpea130000
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Re: Anyone else not having dad walk you down the aisle (and he will be at the wedding)?
you know, you are right, screw him, oops did I just say that?
I am going to have my mom walk me down the aisle, and maybe even dance with her. At least I have time to figure out how to tell him this.
