Anyone else out there fed up with wedding planning?!?

Oh honey i get this way....Just do yourself a favor and try and take a break from wedding planning. If not your going to face it with a lot of negativity. I would always obsess about the budget to the point where I question is it even worth it, and yes it is. Take a break, cuddle up with you FH, it's all going to be fine!

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Posted by HallsLady

Oh honey i get this way....Just do yourself a favor and try and take a break from wedding planning. If not your going to face it with a lot of negativity. I would always obsess about the budget to the point where I question is it even worth it, and yes it is. Take a break, cuddle up with you FH, it's all going to be fine!

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You give the best advice!

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Posted by stinenandy2010

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Posted by HallsLady

Oh honey i get this way....Just do yourself a favor and try and take a break from wedding planning. If not your going to face it with a lot of negativity. I would always obsess about the budget to the point where I question is it even worth it, and yes it is. Take a break, cuddle up with you FH, it's all going to be fine!

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You give the best advice!

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agreed :D

Aww thanks! You girls are all so sweet!

I was in the same situation as you are now...
I got engaged almost a year ago and the first thing out of FMIL's mouth was all wedding all the time...I got so sick of it and everything wedding realated...I gave in to an engagement party that i didnt want when i had it, and i started to give in to alot of stuff and i was STRESSED to no end...
I finally got so sick of it one day and realized, I am paying for my entire wedding myself, she isnt offering us a dime for anything, even the rehersal dinner which is typically paid for by the grooms family!!! I just said to myself that it is my day and no one else's (besides FH...) and if anyone has anything to say about my decisions they dont have to come to the wedding...
It takes time to come to terms with this situation but just know that your not the only girl who goes thorugh this!! Alot of us have had our share of frustrations but we get through them with FH by our side...
(and just remember your marrying FH because of love the two of you share...dont let frustration over his mother deter you...)

If you need to talk feel free to FM me!!

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Posted by buttrfly2414

Sounds sooooooo similiar... And I know she's not contributing to the rehearsal dinner either (which typically is the grooms side!) According to her 'they are a waste and doesn't see the point in them.' But FH and I are just like whatever... we're paying for everything all on our own as well. Regardless, I like to think we'll be better off doing it that way in the end anyway! My parents are the best though and said they are going to try and help us out... but I don't want them to b/c then how do I put my parents names on the invite and not FIL's?!?! Could you imagine... lol

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you could do it easily...there is a way to word it where your parents are inviting people to their daughters wedding to FH son of so-and-so...
I have seen it done like that before and didnt think anything bad of it...It just makes it clear who is contributing to the wedding...
I might be wording mine like that...oh well for FH's family!! lol

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Posted by rocketsummer17

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Posted by buttrfly2414

Sounds sooooooo similiar... And I know she's not contributing to the rehearsal dinner either (which typically is the grooms side!) According to her 'they are a waste and doesn't see the point in them.' But FH and I are just like whatever... we're paying for everything all on our own as well. Regardless, I like to think we'll be better off doing it that way in the end anyway! My parents are the best though and said they are going to try and help us out... but I don't want them to b/c then how do I put my parents names on the invite and not FIL's?!?! Could you imagine... lol

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you could do it easily...there is a way to word it where your parents are inviting people to their daughters wedding to FH son of so-and-so...
I have seen it done like that before and didnt think anything bad of it...It just makes it clear who is contributing to the wedding...
I might be wording mine like that...oh well for FH's family!! lol

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Ohh wow GREAT IDEA!!! I never thought of doing it that way but that's awesome!! Thanks!!

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Posted by buttrfly2414

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Posted by rocketsummer17

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Posted by buttrfly2414

Sounds sooooooo similiar... And I know she's not contributing to the rehearsal dinner either (which typically is the grooms side!) According to her 'they are a waste and doesn't see the point in them.' But FH and I are just like whatever... we're paying for everything all on our own as well. Regardless, I like to think we'll be better off doing it that way in the end anyway! My parents are the best though and said they are going to try and help us out... but I don't want them to b/c then how do I put my parents names on the invite and not FIL's?!?! Could you imagine... lol

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you could do it easily...there is a way to word it where your parents are inviting people to their daughters wedding to FH son of so-and-so...
I have seen it done like that before and didnt think anything bad of it...It just makes it clear who is contributing to the wedding...
I might be wording mine like that...oh well for FH's family!! lol

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Ohh wow GREAT IDEA!!! I never thought of doing it that way but that's awesome!! Thanks!!

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anytime!!

Oh, I feel you!! You are SO not alone My FFIL is not lifting a finger for this wedding. The hypocrisy of this is astounding as FFIL will be having a wedding to his third wife in late 2008. this is his new wife's 1st marriage so her parents are footing the bill!! (She's in her 40s).

FMIL is in FL so I cut her some slack... she's planning from afar.

So I invented a rule: No Pay No Say . I never wanted anyone to pay for the wedding. I did think we'd get like a card or something, but no. Not even an e-mail or a phone call.

I no longer let it get to me, FH and I will have the wedding of our dreams, and we'll have enough for a down payment for a home as well.

His parents are just people I'm not marrying them... I think they'll come around in the end, it's just too far away for them to grasp what's going on.

Edited to add words so sentences makes sense.

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

So I invented a rule: No Pay No Say . I never wanted anyone to pay for the wedding. I did think we'd get like a card or something, but no. Not even an e-mail or a phone call.

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I like the No Pay, No Say rule. That's basically what I've been saying. My FMIL wants this and that, and wants to invite about 50 people to the wedding, but FH's parents are not paying for anything (including rehearsal dinner).

She also said the place we picked for our reception was 2nd rate and she would come under protest. I know that I don't meet her standards in terms of the way I do things. I am a simple person and don't like extravagant things.....however she is and I can just see her not liking anything I do for the wedding.

My FILs aren't paying for anything either. I will give them the respect to ask them for a list to the wedding. I have no worries about coming in over the minimum... no problems there.

But seriously? If they don't like it, and start complaining? No sweat off my back if they don't come. My FILs are like .. air they're just there. I can plan around them. Seriously... it's like they don't even exist.

I feel as though when people say 'I don't care if he or she come', it's a heat of the moment, just saying it to make oneself feel better. Their presence may not mean a lot to you but how would you FH feel? What if the roles were switched and FH was on here planning a wedding and said he didn't care if your parents came...I mean come on, I know you ladies don't genuinely feel this way. I don't know... I feel as though parents and Future in laws get talked about so negatively on here. May we still please keep in mind that we are not marrying them but we are marrying the loves of lives, but we must be respectful of their families as well. I don't want anyone to take this wrongly at all, my thoughts on this is due to a culmination of such threads...but money and contributing is not everything, my mother and I have not been on speaking terms for more than 2 years and it's concerns a very serious issue. And my father well he only likes to show up at my graduations and brag about me to his family. If we were on speaking terms I could never imagine myself having problems with her over money...I grew up really poor, so I am very conscious about money and my mother has always tried he hardest I guess I am just sharing with you all a little bit more of me today. Just don't let money be the core of our issues that means try not to drive yourself bonkers thinking about budgets, don't get into arguments with FH over it, and don't dislike someone because they choose or just cannot contribute financially to your wedding...I am just being honest ladies but I my mind I know there's gonna be a huge backlash about what I just said.

Alesia

That was very well said. Of course I want FHs parents to come, if THEY decide not to come, we're just going to have to handle it. FH would be devastated if they couldn't come, so of course I want them there.

Every situation is different, but it's my FILs complete apathetic reaction to this wedding that has me upset. FH and I are a bit older and in a decent place financially, so it's not about the money. We have every intention of paying for everything ourselves.

I just wish they were interested. It makes me sad that we're doing all this planning and it's like we're planning a Saturday night out with our friends or something.

The wedding is STILL really far away for most people, so I'm willing to cut some slack. Once we hit the year mark and send out STDs and have engagement pictures and such I really feel like people will come around.

I'm not marrying FHs parents I'm marrying HIM. And I do think about if the situation was reversed.... How would I feel if FH resented me because I didn't talk to my parents/they didn't contribute/etc. But really I just want them to support him... which isn't happening and it makes me sad.

Thank you Joanne for always understanding me