Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Of course I knew how things would be before we even got married - DH works the overnight shift at Air Jamaica, and he works Sunday night thru Wed nights. I work a typical 9-5 M-F workweek. If I have something to do after work Mon-Wed nights, I don't see him at all. Our doggie is my cuddle partner in the bed. And even the nights that DH is home, he's still on that overnight schedule, so he doesn't sleep with me, anyway! Well... he does but he won't come to bed til like 3-4am, and then I wake up at 7-8am b/c I am an early bird. We have only been married a little over a month and it's just really hard to never see him! I am sure I'll get used to it (heck, I saw him less before we got married, so this should be an improvement!)... it is just very difficult watching him walk out the door every night, you know? And now, on top of that, he decided to pick up his old job part-time b/c we need the money... so now I see him even LESS, if that is possible! I know he is doing it all for us, so I am not really complaining, just venting a little... I guess I didn't realize it'd be harder to be married and not see him than it was before we got married and I didn't see him... if that makes any sense! The thing about the weekends is that he uses them to catch up on the sleep he isn't getting all week, so I STILL don't really see him, or get to spend time with him... ah well!

Everyone keeps joking with us that our marriage will definitely last forever b/'c we never see each other

The old adage 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is definitely true in our case

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I teach 730-3 and then some nights of the week i have a second job, DH works 930 pm til 8 am 4 nights a week so we usually see eachother for dinner, and hang out for an hour then he goes to work. As difficult as it is it makes us look so forward to our time together. When i leave for work in the morning i try to leave a little note or something for him just so he knows how much i love him

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

FH works 2 jobs and I'm home all day (for now). It definitely is lonely without him. We really only have the weekends because he is up early for his first job, then comes home, changes and is off to his second one and doesn't get home until 10pm. He eats dinner and goes to bed. I can't wait until I'm working again so he won't have to work as much. We just moved in together 2 months ago so before that we only saw each other on weekends.

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I'm so afraid of that happening. My FH goes to school during the day and works at night. He's definitely planning on changing that tho as soon as we're married, because i really don't think I'll be able to handle it (considering that we're moving to a place where I'm without family or friends). He's gonna be going back to day jobs and taking online classes.

But either way, it'll still be more than I see him NOW. We're a long distance relationship so I don't ever see him. We just got thru our first 2 weeks now. 13 more until I'm with him again. So just be grateful you got him with you on the weekends (even if it's not much). He sounds like a good man. Workin' hard for his new family

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I can totally relate. Dh does 4pm- 4pm the following day shifts. Im driving home on the meadowbrook and he is driving to work on the meadowbrook. We literally pass eachother. Not fun !! Esp not fun to sleep alone when you are so used to having a full house when you lived home !

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Oh hun I am right there with you. Our work schedules and locations keep us away from each other all week. We have always designated Tuesday nights as date night, ever since we started dating. We work almost 2 hours away from each other, so we always pick a place for our 'date' somewhere in the middle.

Unfortunately, even after we get married its not going to change any time soon. We both have very good jobs that neither want to leave. FH also owns a home which is on the market right now, but with this economy, hasn't had any bites

We are just going to grin and bear it for as long as we can. It does make you value the time you do have together - for us right now its mostly weekends

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I can totally relate!!

I work 9-5 M-F and FH works 11pm-8am 5 days a week (it rotates) it totally stinks, so we vowed to try to always have dinner together. So we eat then FH starts getting ready for work, and I get ready to head to bed.

Of course I'd looooooove to have him home every night, but I've gotten used to sleeping alone on the nights he's not around. It's just how things need to be right now.

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

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Posted by RisiLeigh

The old adage 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is definitely true in our case

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DEFINITELY!!!!

FH travels a lot for business, all road trips to convention centers. In fact he's leaving tomorrow for a show and will be back on Monday. I won't lie, it's been tough. It's hard to plan anything at all. We had to play with our schedules to find time for the wedding!

But..... I think of the other alternative, which would be to not be together at all, and I can't even imagine that!! So, we spend as much time as possible together and then he calls me several times a day when he's away. We never go to sleep without a phone call, even if it's way after midnight.... I'm the last person he speaks to at night before he goes to sleep. I've become very friendly with his huge body pillow that takes up his side of the bed when he's gone. And on the day I know he's coming back, I can't wait to get through the workday, knowing that night, we'll be together again!!

I've been very spoiled lately.... FH has been home a lot, no shows lately. But October's going to be hard. He'll be gone almost every weekend, including the one before our wedding! And I know next year the show lineup is crazy...... there will be a month where he'll be gone for practically 2 weeks at a time. We have to squeeze in time for our honeymoon next summer!!

Something that's become special to me through all this is the song 'Faithfully' by Journey.....

'Through space and time, always another show, wondering where I am, lost without you.... Being apart ain't easy on this love affair, two strangers learn to fall in love again.... I get the joy of rediscovering you, oh girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours, faithfully.'

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

ME!!!!! DH went back to work last night and I am sitting right now as we speak in our sitting room! He works overnight so he sleeps all day while I work..then we have dinner together and then he leaves at 8:50pm for work. I've hardly seen him in 2 days! And when he comes home he goes in the sitting room cause he doesn't want to wake me up! He's too cute!!!! But I really miss him!!! I wanna go back to the honeymoon so I get to see him everyday!!!!!

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

i understand....FH works crazy hours in the city sometimes untill the wee hours of the morning, and i work 6-3. so sometimes, it's like he gets home, we have an hour and then off to bed. it will be ok....work schedules can always change!

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

WOW! I didn't realize how many ladies are like me and never see their men! It truly is nice to know we're not alone, for sure!

I think I might try taking earlier lunches that way I can see DH and have lunch with him before he goes to sleep after the PT job... ESP on the nights where I am going somewhere after work and won't see him then.

Tonight starts his 'weekend' so I am hoping to get in some cuddle time! And I am hoping for a 'date night' tomorrow night. We shall see what happens!

Thanks for replying, girls! You def made me feel better knowing there are lots of us in this boat!

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I see FH everyday but I work nights so I can empathize with you. FH works mon-fri 9-5. I work overnight 8-8 different nights each week. We try to spend as much time as possible together but its important to make it quality time. We eat breakfast and dinner at the table together. If I am catching up on sleep he'll lay with me a few minutes or I'll lay on the couch while he watches football. I know it stinks but its important to make the time you do have together that much more special.

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

He gets home around 7 or so and sleeps for a bit until I get up. Then we have our mornings together before I go to work. And days I work in the morning I will see him for an hr before I go in. Then I get home around 6 and he is just getting up and we have dinner together and then he goes to work. We leave notes for one another! But you are not alone!! Tonight is his last night working and then he is off for four days and we get to be together!!!! :)

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

i'm stuck on the first line of your post. he works for airjamaica. does this mean you can be on sandy beaches for free or cheap all the time?

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

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Posted by florezpeeps

i'm stuck on the first line of your post. he works for airjamaica. does this mean you can be on sandy beaches for free or cheap all the time?

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Yes, we can fly standby for free, although he is taking his sweet time putting me on his pass now that I am his wife

Re: Anyone else rarely/never see their FH/DH?

I understand totally. FH works for NYPD and his shifts change by the hour. He works about 65-70 hours a week plus commuting Tues thru Sat. I have your typical 9-5:30. It's not easy and that stupid saying is true. My family jokes to that this is why our marrage is going to work. It's like dating ALL the time. You just make time and just remember he is YOURS for the rest of your lives.