Anyone ever surprised by a NO rsvp??

I received an RSVP from someone who USED to be a close friend of mine years ago and it was a big fat NO.
I was kinda hurt and slightly bummed by this. Even though I KNOW I shouldn't be surprised... part of why we aren't friends anymore is because.... well she was a crappy friend! haha. Clearly! Sad but true. In the years after we were super close... she had been invited to NUMEROUS things for me (including a surprise birthday party for me in 2004, other parties, etc.) and usually she said she would come and just failed to show up, like EVERY time! I've grown accustomed to this happening BUT I THOUGHT that she would actually come to my wedding!!!!!

Oh and what really ticks me off.. is that via messages on myspace for fb, she used to ALWAYS tell me to call her and when I would call her... she NEVER answered the phone!! SO WHY TELL ME TO CALL YOU AND THEN AVOID IT?? SOO CONFUSING!! Buzz off if you want nothing to do with me!! And to be perfectly honest... it became like a game to me... I would PURPOSELY call her RIGHT when I got the message FULLY prepared to leave her a message (because I KNEW she wouldn't answer!!) and SPECIFICALLY say.. I got your message to call you and so I am yada yada yada....

Maybe I'm just a dope for thinking she would actually come to my wedding!! I can't even believe i'm shocked and slighting hurt by it! What is wrong with me? Clearly she doesn't even matter... life went on and will continue to go on without her in it.

So here's my public yet private (because I'm not outing her) SCREW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm glad you posted this b/c I haven't vented to anyone about a surprise NO I got from a girl who I thought was a good friend...she is the unreliable type too, so maybe I should have expected it.

I had to ask her if she was coming b/c she hadn't RSVP'd, and thats when she tells me she 'had' to move her vacation to when my wedding is. :(

But I am lucky that most people who I want to be there, will be!

i had this with family...a few of my fam said no that i was sure they were coming..one really close one said no cause they r visiting the kids at college

but what can you do...

Hey I'm '10 bride crashing....

I think your post and feelings make a lot of sense, you can rationalize she did A,B &C and thats why you are not close anymore but it still kinda b-l-o-w-s that she wouldn't consider your wedding a step out of the normal events and be into being a part of it.

I hope this doesn't sound condisending b/c you obviously have been planning your wedding longer than I have and you prob have heard this b/f but, weddings and births of children make you realize who really loves you and who doesn't. I'll get a little personal for a moment and share my experience w/this.

In '01 my older brother (whom was terminally ill w/a brain tumor) got married. His Godmother, our Aunt, wouldn't get on a plane to fly from FL to NY to see him. Her 'excuse' was she is afraid of flying and couldn't drive b/c it was too long of a drive. Now my brother was VERY close to her and used to fly down & see her and her kids all the time. As a matter of a fact, he flew down there w/my sister in law shortly after he completed his radiation treatment.
so...basically people whether they are family or friends can completely S-U-C-K or be out of this world amazing. My advice is follow your gut feelings and move past it, I am completely sure you have tons of wonderful ppl in your life that are over the moon happy for you.

i've heard soo many times that Wedding show true colors and who your real friends are and all that. And at first i was like ... WHAT? yea OK , how would THAT ever happen. And now being as far into it all ... I can't even COUNT how many people showed their true colors!!! SERIOUSLY!!! It's insane!!! The things people do and the audacity that some people have!! And i'm not even referring to this girl 100% here... just in general.

FH has a 'friend'... I call him a selfish ******* that ONLY cares about himself and I'm ALWAYS the first to say.. that's NOT your friend. But I don't get involved. So fake friend is a GM. and a crappy one at that. FH has his bachlor party over the weekend.... and fake friend of course is invited. It's a Sat, Sun and come home Monday. They are going to a football game on Sun and just partying it up in Baltimore. Fake friend JUST got $18,000 from a law suit from a car accident that FH was driving!!! So he recently came into some money. He did though lose his job and blew a bunch of it on crap and bad things. He tells FH that he has to leave Sunday morning becaue he can't afford to go to the game (which was $100). Now normally you would say... oh how responsible of him. BUT this is a guy who then AFTER that would blow over $200 a night in a dirty bar (not even an upscale bar in the city) drinking $2.00 pints of beer!!!!! And he did thiss MORE THAN ONCE!!!! WAIT though this story gets better and better!!
So now we have established that he got money because of FH (he got it from his insurance company) and he spent it and lost his job. He then SLIPS to FH and tells him, while he's loaded of course, that he has $8000 saved!!!!! So you can't spend 100 dollars for your friend's bachlor party but you have 8 g stashed away AND you spend DOUBLE that easliy in one night JUSt on ALCOHOL... and not including all the other JUNK you are on?!??!?!!?! AND it gets better....
Another GM who booked the trip had to work and cancelled last minute. His ticket was up for grabs for FREE!!! So this douche bag fake friend GM had no reason to not take it and kinda by default HAD to go. WELL...
Sunday morning.. he is asking another GM for the room keys to get his bags... his plan?? TO PULL A BATMAN (which ultimately means... to up and leave via disappearance without saying goodbye or anything!!!). That GM was like what are you doing??? so he got busted and HAD To say goodbye. WHAT A D BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I could punch him out I soooooooo would. But like I said I don't get involved like that with FH and his friends. This piece of crap is supposidly his 'CLOSEST friend'. NOT ANYMORE KIDDO!!! FH is PISSED at him. I can't believe that there are people out there who are actually this much of an assshole!!!! I can't wait for karma to turn around and slap him!!! I used to be close with him too (I've known him since I was like 13) but I wrote him off years ago. I can't stand him anymore!! He disguts me!!! And I really am a VERY reasonable and logical person. He is a LOSER in every sense of the word. just writing this makes me think about him and I just get sooo angry!!!

So aside from that rant... your post about the tumor and all... really got to me. I'm soo sorry for that. It's soo astonishing how people will treat other people... ESPECIALLY when they themselves were treated sooo well by that person. Those are the people I call SELFISH and they are JUST like that GM that I described above. Those types of people nausiate me and I'm happy to cut them out of my life!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. Dead weight ONLY brings you down. And although it might sting at first in the beginning... we are better off without these people.. and they did us a favor by showing us their true colors. Now we know what they are about and most of all what they are WORTH!!!! So in a way these weddings that really show what people are like.... as sad as it is... it's a blessing in disguise!!

Yea I had a friend say no... not that we talked that often anymore- but I still considered them a friend of mine..... and it hurt- and the excuse was disgusting and I never wrote that person back.... that person will not be in my life anymore bc obviously they didnt care enough about our friendship....

You realize who your true friends are and who is there for you when planning and going through your wedding.... some people go above and beyond and others fall real short... but Id rather know who is really there for me and who could give a $hit. Keep your head up Kerri!!!

I had 2 good/old friends not come. One of them was my BM that dropped out. The funny thing is that I found out that the other girl lied to me about why she couldnt make it to the wedding by reading her facebook status
Im done with the both of them.
DH also had 3 of his old, old friends no show no RSVP either.
You really do see who your real friends are at this time.

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Posted by dazies1011

I had 2 good/old friends not come. One of them was my BM that dropped out. The funny thing is that I found out that the other girl lied to me about why she couldnt make it to the wedding by reading her facebook status
Im done with the both of them.
DH also had 3 of his old, old friends no show no RSVP either.
You really do see who your real friends are at this time.

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WOW!! how stupid is that person???? SERIOUSLY!!! To decline and give a bs reason THEN post on fb your real status!! GROSS!!!

What i don't get is that... it's a wedding!!! It's a party!!! W T F?? WHY would anyone NOT want to go to a party??? AND esp when there's open bar!! These fockers must be boring LOSERS!!! hahaha!! It's not like we are asking them to give us a kidney or do something super boring and blah... it's a f*in party!!! SOOO STRANGE!!!!

At least it lets you know who should and should NOT be in your life!

People are awful.. I am reading all of these posts and one is worse than the other....

I was really upset when my 'aunt' rsvp'ed no. She was my stepdad's sister and since he passed 4 months to the day from my wedding and I was the only 'niece' she had I would think she would have come.. It turns out she was upset with my mom over something she had NO right to be upset about and instead of confronting my mom she just chose not to RSVP and told my other aunt she had a 'previous engagement'. Mind you she told me she would be happy to come to the wedding when I saw her in mid-April! Needless to say I have not spoken to her since and I don't care to ever again. She was selfish/awful person when my step dad was alive so why would that changed after he passed????

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Posted by NikkiR515

People are awful.. I am reading all of these posts and one is worse than the other....

I was really upset when my 'aunt' rsvp'ed no. She was my stepdad's sister and since he passed 4 months to the day from my wedding and I was the only 'niece' she had I would think she would have come.. It turns out she was upset with my mom over something she had NO right to be upset about and instead of confronting my mom she just chose not to RSVP and told my other aunt she had a 'previous engagement'. Mind you she told me she would be happy to come to the wedding when I saw her in mid-April! Needless to say I have not spoken to her since and I don't care to ever again. She was selfish/awful person when my step dad was alive so why would that changed after he passed????

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Good for you Nikki!! Drop that dead weight!!