Anyone feel like no one cares?

Seriously have to vent, this is LONG, but I feel like this wedding is only a priority to me. Here's my situation with my bridal party...

Here it is it's April already, I told my bridesmaids to get measured in March and only 2 of the 4 bothered to get it done. They all said they'd do it in March so when I stopped by yesterday to the bridal suite to make sure it was all done, I was shocked to find this out. The sad thing is, the girl I asked LAST to be a bridesmaid was the first to get measured! I feel really bad because though I've known her for several years, I had asked people I was closer to first, and after one of my friends dropped out, I asked her to join the bridal party. And right away she got measured like within a week...she's more excited than my other bridesmaids whom I thought were 'closer' to me. (Really shows me how much I matter to my friends.) My MOH, my sister, is the other BM that got measured, but only after a whole month of me reminding her. The whole month she was like 'well, when I have time, I'm busy'. Glad to hear my own MOH wasn't even making it a priority. She also just had a baby in February so she wanted to lose more weight, but she ended up ordering a dress 2 sizes smaller than she is now so what difference would it have made if she got measured sooner? It's still a crap shoot if she'll even fit in the dress she ordered.

What makes me the more mad is that the two that didn't get measured practically told me what day they were doing it, and did it happen? NO. One of of them lives out of state and when we last spoke (mid-March) she said she finally found a place to get measured and was going that weekend and would call it in. You'd think after 2-3 weeks even if it didn't happen that weekend she would've done it by now! And the other BM told me she'd do it last week on Thursday or Friday and that I should remind her. I reminded her, not that I really should have, because after all, she did agree to be in my bridal party, why should I have to remind her? But I reminded her anyway, and she STILL didn't get it done! All month long she said she was waiting to get measured after her period...between her and my sister who needed to lose weight I just feel those are selfish excuses...I mean it's my wedding day, people are going to be looking at ME not them. Why did they bother to be in the bridal party if they were afraid of what they look like in a dress?

Here's the situation with my FH...last month we went to the travel agent to start planning our HM to Italy. We knew exactly what cities we want to go to, how many days each, and that we'd rather not be on a group tour because it's more romantic to be on our own. The travel agent drew up an itinerary with some guided tours so we wouldn't miss anything...but then he changed his mind and was like 'oh maybe we should be on a tour, I don't want to be confused at the train stations going city to city'. We fought about this all week because I don't think it's a real honeymoon if your with a group...So yesterday at his mom's house we're discussing it with her and when she said it's better to be on a group tour...what does he say? 'No I'd rather be on our own.' What the hell?!?! Why'd we fight about this all week if you agreed with me? To top it off, he's been fickle about everything else with the HM...like that the price is too high even though his mom is paying for it, and he would tell me 'oh I'm making us an appointment with the travel agent to discuss this' and then he wouldn't bother to make an appointment! Why say you're going to call if you're not going to?

I emailed those two BM's yesterday to remind them to PLEASE get measured this week and did they even reply yet? No. These are people who usually reply the same day, and I emailed one of them on myspace and the message showed up as 'read' in my sent box - I know she read it, at this point I feel like I'm being avoided. I feel like I can't even rely on them to plan a bachelorette party because they can't do something simple like getting measured for a dress. When I asked one of them how the party plans were going she joked 'you're not getting a bachelorette party until you throw me a 30th birthday party'. What the hell, I'm the bride, stop trying to make yourself so important, and besides I'm turning 30 too...you're not the only one.

Sorry this was so long, I just feel all alone in this. This is so aggrevating I wish I could've eloped and avoided all these situations.

thats all frustrating. exactly why i am not putting too much focus on the bridal party. the day really is about you and fh. its rare that people find true friends. i feel friends come and go. its hard to find true ones. my bridal party will be two of my friends, two younger fh cousins, two of fh friends and for my moh-my brother as honor attendant instead.

i have a feeling one of my friends will disappear again in a few months. i wouldn't be surprised. personally i do not plan on many bridal party pictures and not sitting with them at the hall. and its likely that only my brother will stand with us at the alter while the rest sit in the front. i am just going to down play it and pretty much have them wear whatever they want in color scheme- and the men are easy-tux or suit-but all the same or similar.

maybe you should 'drop' the 2 girls who seem to be avoiding you. you do NOT need a big bridal party unless its really important to you. if i were u i would have just had my sister! but i wouldnt even say anything about officially dropping it. they know what they are supposed to do- if they manage to get the dresses on time then have them in it. if not then they are out. the only other thing is you may waste money on flower bo-ks for them. your moh should be planning your shower and bachelotte night not the two missing ones so that should be fine.

as far as hm -trust me- with or without group you will have a ball in italy! wish we could afford that! personally, i am so scared of being lost and would be confused so i would want a group. maybe 1/2 and 1/2 ?

good luck!!

So sorry


Coordinating all these people is so frustrating! Maybe it's time to have a sit down with the two BM's. All they have to do is go get measured, which isn't a big deal but they really seem to be dragging their feet and are being uncooperative.

WOW why do I feel like we have the same bridal party???? It's gotten to the point wih me where I want to tell my 2 BM's to not even come to my wedding!

i hate to say this but..regarding your BMs..
sometimes it's just easier to find out what measurements they need to have taken... call them up..and stay on the phone with them while they measure themselves...and then send it into the dress place yourself..usually it's just the chest, waist, and hips that need to be measured (if they're getting standard sizes for the dresses)

you're not alone!!!

My BP took a while to get back to me about measurements. I think they didn't have a physical measuring tape. They'd tell me, 'I'm a size 2.' It took weeks for them to get back to me with the exact numbers.

The slower ones were the girls who were slightly larger girls. I don't think they felt comfortable giving me the their numbers.

Don't take it so personally. I'm sure they will come around.

My BMs were slow to help but I know they are on top of planning my bachelorette and bridal shower now (less than 2 months b4 the wedding).

Some people are just procrastinators.

I feel the EXACT same way- no one wants to help- not my BMs not my MOH not my FH, rarely my Mother (although she has done more than anyone else put together- not saying much.)

I tell everyone to elope now- I just pray that this will all have been worth it!

I am sorry you are going through this. I will FM you tonight when I get home. I feel bad for you.