anyone go to a southern wedding before?

we recently moved to SC and made friends who are getting married this May in Alabama. the girl and i have been talking a lot about our weddings, and we realized that there were BIG differences! one example is that she'll have as many as 5-6 showers. she also told me that if a guest gave a shower gift, they don't give ANYTHING at the wedding.

this is soo foreign to me... i was invited to one of her showers and FH was invited to the 'man shower'

the thing is, i feel really uncomfortable showing up empty handed to their wedding, but don't want to embarrass them by giving them what we usually give in NY (around 200, and probably give more than any other guest). the other thing is, i don't want them to think that they have to give that much at our wedding...

i've been asking FH to ask his co workers, but he's like, they won't know! haha thought you girls might be able to shed some light!

TIA

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Posted by ddnsp618

things are so much different down there...they are happy with $50 bucks..if anything maybe get her a nice gift for the wedding. (maybe those swarvoski champagne flutes i want so bad!) at least then you will be acknowledging them how you want, yet noone will know how much they really cost, so you wont feel bad

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those champagne flutes are $400, I also love them but I felt too guilty having my parents spend that much on something that we wont even use that often ( they offered but I felt too bad) I decided to get these really nice waterford glasses instead...also very pretty but 1/2 th eprice.
I think $400 is alot for a wedding...esp one down south. I would give them $100-$150 ( get a gift around that range), I wouldnt be comfortable showing up to any shower or wedding without a gift.

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Posted by lealea

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Posted by ddnsp618

things are so much different down there...they are happy with $50 bucks..if anything maybe get her a nice gift for the wedding. (maybe those swarvoski champagne flutes i want so bad!) at least then you will be acknowledging them how you want, yet noone will know how much they really cost, so you wont feel bad

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those champagne flutes are $400, I also love them but I felt too guilty having my parents spend that much on something that we wont even use that often ( they offered but I felt too bad) I decided to get these really nice waterford glasses instead...also very pretty but 1/2 th eprice.
I think $400 is alot for a wedding...esp one down south. I would give them $100-$150 ( get a gift around that range), I wouldnt be comfortable showing up to any shower or wedding without a gift.

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holy moly!!! i didnt even know they were that much...scratch that idea. i think a gift in that range is approp. too

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Posted by jess8123

OMG is this Kim McCarrick??

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lol yes!! how are you doing??!?!

haha yes, they're registered at lowes for the man shower, but the shower i'm invited to is lingerie themed... hahaha

i figure that we'll each give a present at the showers, and give some money at the wedding.

thanks for your advice ladies!!

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Posted by jess8123

OMG! I am great!! how are you?? When is your big day?!?!

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june 12th... you have FM

As a bride originally from the south, thats what I am used to. There were showers, one for the bride, one for the groom sometimes, and people brought presents to it. If something was given at the shower, you didnt bring a present to the wedding, and if you did, it went on a 'present table'. I didnt know about Card Boxes until I got up here and started planning a NY wedding, didnt know people brought presents to the engagement party.

When i told my mom and grandma that we got presents at the engagement party, the response was 'dont expect a present at the wedding, and dont expect any cash or checks for anything.' my cousins weddings had limited wine and beer, everything else was cash bar, and there is no cocktail hour. that was another thing that I never had heard of until I got here. I couldnt imagine that much food before the sit down dinner.

Its an entirely different culture down there from weddings in NY, and NY is different than almost anywhere else i am finding.

Whatever the 'norm' may be for the area, I would say do what you feel comfortable with, I dont think the bride will turn away gifts :)

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Posted by eternitybride

As a bride originally from the south, thats what I am used to. There were showers, one for the bride, one for the groom sometimes, and people brought presents to it. If something was given at the shower, you didnt bring a present to the wedding, and if you did, it went on a 'present table'. I didnt know about Card Boxes until I got up here and started planning a NY wedding, didnt know people brought presents to the engagement party.

When i told my mom and grandma that we got presents at the engagement party, the response was 'dont expect a present at the wedding, and dont expect any cash or checks for anything.' my cousins weddings had limited wine and beer, everything else was cash bar, and there is no cocktail hour. that was another thing that I never had heard of until I got here. I couldnt imagine that much food before the sit down dinner.

Its an entirely different culture down there from weddings in NY, and NY is different than almost anywhere else i am finding.

Whatever the 'norm' may be for the area, I would say do what you feel comfortable with, I dont think the bride will turn away gifts :)

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thanks so much!!