Anyone have a good joke?

i wish i was cleaning
i hate work

Okay:
A mushroom is at a bar and notices this BEAUTIFUL woman

he goes up to her and asks if he can buy her a drink to which she responds 'um....no way'
when he asks why not - she says
'becuase you are a mushroom'
and he says...
'come on, I am a FUN_GUY'

A woman goes tot he supermarket and gets:

one apple
one piece of chicken
one roll of toilet paper
one box of tissues
one bar of soap
one head of lettuce
and
one can of tunafish

She goes to the counter and the check out guy says to her:

'You must be single right?'

she says 'Why? Because I bought one of everything?'

he replies 'No, because you are so f**king ugly.'

Good ones!!

Ok Christine I'll bite, Why?

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Posted by ChristineAE

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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WHY??

What is real trust?

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Posted by BEANS

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Posted by ChristineAE

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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WHY??

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Because he was Dead...duh!

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Posted by ChristineAE

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Posted by BEANS

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Posted by ChristineAE

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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WHY??

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Because he was Dead...duh!

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I thought you were gonna have something good

2 peanuts walk into a bar- 1 was a-salted!

Ok, I hope this doesn't get lost in translation

A wife is talking to her husband about all the work that needs to be done around the house and the fact that money is tight.

wife says 'honey the bricks in front of the house are falling down, can you fix them?'

husband says 'what do I look like, an effin mason?, hire some one to fix it'

next day wife says 'honey the toilet is broken, can you fix it?'

Husband 'what do I look like, an effin plumber?, hire someone to fix it'

A few days later, the husband comes home and the bricks are fixed as well as the toilet. Husband asked the wife 'you hired someone to do this work? How much did it cost?'

The wife says 'no honey, Jimmy down the street said I could either bake him a cake or give him a BJ and he would fix it'

husband asks 'what did you choose?'

wife says 'what do I look like, effin betty crocker?'



HAHA

ok, that probably is not as funny as it was the first time I heard it, I tried !!!!

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Posted by evnme

2 peanuts walk into a bar- 1 was a-salted!

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I LOVE IT[

QUOTE]Posted by stephanief

Ok, I hope this doesn't get lost in translation

A wife is talking to her husband about all the work that needs to be done around the house and the fact that money is tight.

wife says 'honey the bricks in front of the house are falling down, can you fix them?'

husband says 'what do I look like, an effin mason?, hire some one to fix it'

next day wife says 'honey the toilet is broken, can you fix it?'

Husband 'what do I look like, an effin plumber?, hire someone to fix it'

A few days later, the husband comes home and the bricks are fixed as well as the toilet. Husband asked the wife 'you hired someone to do this work? How much did it cost?'

The wife says 'no honey, Jimmy down the street said I could either bake him a cake or give him a BJ and he would fix it'

husband asks 'what did you choose?'

wife says 'what do I look like, effin betty crocker?'



HAHA

ok, that probably is not as funny as it was the first time I heard it, I tried !!!!

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The Sheriff in a small Texas town walks out in the street & sees a blonde
> cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and
> his boots,
> so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
>
> As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you dressed like
> this?'
>
> The Cowboy says 'Well it's like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the
> road
> & this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her
> so I did. We go inside & she pulls off her top & asks me to pull off my
> shirt so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt & asks me to pull off my
> pants
> so I did. Then she pulls off her panties & asks me to pull off my shorts
> so
> I did. Then she gets on the bed & looks at me kind of sexy & says, 'Now go
> to town cowboy.'
>
> And here I am.
>
> See, Blonde men do exist.

Such silly little brides to be you all are!!

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Posted by stephanief

Ok, I hope this doesn't get lost in translation

A wife is talking to her husband about all the work that needs to be done around the house and the fact that money is tight.

wife says 'honey the bricks in front of the house are falling down, can you fix them?'

husband says 'what do I look like, an effin mason?, hire some one to fix it'

next day wife says 'honey the toilet is broken, can you fix it?'

Husband 'what do I look like, an effin plumber?, hire someone to fix it'

A few days later, the husband comes home and the bricks are fixed as well as the toilet. Husband asked the wife 'you hired someone to do this work? How much did it cost?'

The wife says 'no honey, Jimmy down the street said I could either bake him a cake or give him a BJ and he would fix it'

husband asks 'what did you choose?'

wife says 'what do I look like, effin betty crocker?'



HAHA

ok, that probably is not as funny as it was the first time I heard it, I tried !!!!

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You asked for a joke-I gave you the first line and nobody is biting..

well now I'm not going to tell you...

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Posted by Blu-ize

What is real trust?

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OH I MISSED IT PLEASE SHARE!!!!

BTW, I made the pudding and it was a big hit!!! TY!!

I'm glad it came out. Now I want some.

Ok, ok-what is real trust?