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Do people expect it? My soon to be sister in law spent $2000 on an engagement part that was a big flop!! My FH and I are just going to have a
BarB-Q and Keg party the weekend of the 4th of July and just call it our engagement party. My crowd is young , I cant see doing anythingformal , no can I afford it.
Thats what we were going to do but my FI has a large family so we grew out of the yard. We wound up having it at the snapper inn, out in the pavilion. It was great and we still have people talking about it. I think if you can fit it, the back yard is a great idea.
It was not a huge party though...about 40 people. Just immediate family from both sides, my Aunts/Uncles (Scott's entire family is too far away to come), and my bridal party. My stepmom paid 1/2 and we paid the other 1/2. All in all it was about $1200.
You can just get some pretty cake plates that say 'Engagment' on them, and a few decorations and then it will be your e-party. I made choclate lollipops as favors and got bookmarks too (cheap). We got (3) different cakes from Costo (none of the sheet cakes) so people had a chose for dessert. Just a good time for everyone to hang-out and meet. My Dad got champagne and did a toast to us.
Its not expected - and you can have any kind of party you want.
We had one - I was going to throw it in the backyard too, but my FMIL wanted pay and didn't want to put anyone out (it would be in my parents yard) so we had a brunch at Milleridge Inn. Just family and close friends. It was very successful and since it was a brunch - relatively cheap ($30 pp)
to have, you are already having a wedding dont need two formal affairs. Then people dont feel as pressured to spend lots of money, instead buy what they can afford.
We havent had anytype of engagement party but if I did decide to have one I would definite do a casual bbq on my new back deck and I would not include where I register in any type of invite I sent. Dont want people to think having party for the gifts.
Good Luck and Have fun at your engagment BBQ if thats what you do
Honestly to each his own I just feel it is alot to ask of people, when i am invited to all these things including shower, bachelorette party, engagment etc. I am broke by the wedding and i dont want to make people annoyed with me. On the other hand I want to celebrate in an informal way I love the backyard idea, my yard is perfect for that in the summer with the pool and all but it still will end up costing money which i dont have excess of, like most of us im sure. I went to one recently and that is where i made my final decision probably not to because it was half the wedding in so many ways, I felt it was kinda pointless, this is just my opinion I hope everyone is not offended. My Fh parents just had immediate family over for dinner last weekend and we had a cake etc., the other (horrible as it may sound) good thing is we made some money and you do make some money that can help pay for the wedding but i almost feel like its a fund-raiser. i myself know I gave this girl last month 100$ for engagement now I wont probably give as much for the wedding so Im sure it all evens out in the end anyway it really comes down to what you want to do. i feel that if people want to give you engagement presents they will whether you have a party or not, we have gotten a couple already. hope this helps and doesnt offend those of you having one, just my opinion.
since I have no one to throw one for me.
And I sort of agree with Tara - asking our friends to shell out $$ for all of these parties is a big burden.
But no one is obligated to give you an engagement gift so if you want one, have one.
I had it caterered in my parents house/yard...about 70 people.
We got tents, food was nothing special...buffet...
yes we got gifts, mostly from my parents b/c it is our tradition...but I didn't care one way or the other...many friends got us cards...and that was fine...what was really great is that both families got to meet and really got to know each other...
my mom was even invited to FHs cousin's baby shower...
but it can be done pretty inexpensively.
All of my family still lives on LI, but my FIs family is scattered. We are going to have a BBQ sometime this summer and invite our immediate family and bridal party. I don't want our families to meet for the first time at the rehearsal dinner!! Especially our parents and brothers and sisters. But I don't think that it is going to be an 'engagement party' so to speak.
But you should do what makes you comfortable. Your kegger sounds like fun!
Becky
because I didn't start the post but you guys gave me good ideas. I will probably do the BBQ thing as well. Since my dad has a new deck it would be perfect. I am not looking to spend too much money. Around how much is it for catering food to your house?
I think you ahve the right idea. We had an engaement party. My parents rented one of those knights of columbus halls. We had the greatest time. It was nothing expensive or fancy but everyone had a blast. You do not have to spend a fortune to have a great time. Go for the BBQ. It sounds great!
We had so much fun! My FI godmother planned the whole thing. We live out of state, so when we came up to LI last May, she had it all planned. Invitations went out and everything. She had a cake which we fed each other like you would do at the wedding, we didn't even notice until the end of the night, but she had a gift table set up, there was about 70 people there. She had a tent set up too! We had such a great time! The food was all a BBQ, beer and dessert. You can't go wrong with that! Good luck!
We are having an engagement party in June only b/c my mother wanted to throw it for us, now I kind of wish she had saved the $$ for the actual wedding! But we have been engaged since last August, and not getting married until next August, so she thought it would be nice to celebrate. Plus my FHs family is from upstate, so this will be the first real social event, like a warmup to the wedding. It will be a brunch at a restaurant, small (about 50 people). To me, this is about celebrating a new family created out of our marriage, not holding people up for gifts...I dont think anyone we have invited sees it this way.
