Anyone have step children?

yep, yep.. a 10 year old.. She lives with her mom, but she is with us every weekend. She is a sweetheart..but her mother is ghetto fabulous..

She doesn't even know we are getting married yet..
My FH is afraid to tell her because he is afraid she won't let the daughter be in the wedding...

I truthfully can't wait till she finds out..

Right now, he tells his daughter not to say anything, but she doensn't feel comfortable.. It's sad that they have to put her thru this..

I wonder if we are going to make it thru the wedding with out her finding out... we'll see.

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Posted by Borricuamorena0905

yep, yep.. a 10 year old.. She lives with her mom, but she is with us every weekend. She is a sweetheart..but her mother is ghetto fabulous..

She doesn't even know we are getting married yet..
My FH is afraid to tell her because he is afraid she won't let the daughter be in the wedding...

I truthfully can't wait till she finds out..

Right now, he tells his daughter not to say anything, but she doensn't feel comfortable.. It's sad that they have to put her thru this..

I wonder if we are going to make it thru the wedding with out her finding out... we'll see.

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I agree that it's sad that you have to put her through this. I know this is NOT at all your fault that the mom sounds unreasonable, but it's really too much to ask of a 10 year old to be put in the middle of that situation (i.e, 'don't tell mom') She's in a no-win situation, please please please tell the mom and let the 10 year old off the hook.

well, it's really not up tp me.. I tell him to tell the mom..

At first he wasn't going to have his daughter in it, but the daughter is sooooooooo close to him that it will hurt her now and in the future.

The mom is very petty.. She use to say, don't have your new girlfiend doing anything for my daughter, she has a mother.

I DON'T WANT HER COMBING HER HAIR..
I DON'T WANT HER TO COOK FOR HER...


If I buy her something , the daughter has to lie and say an AUnt bought it for her...

Very Very immature... we live together.. She feels as if I'm going to take her away from her or something..

I don't know if the mom can handle the daughter being in our wedding... so do we risk her not being in it because she has an immature mother.. It's a hard decision,,,,,

I'm sure the mom will find out b4 September.

So we both have some baby momma drama ahead of us huh!

I'm totally not like that...
My son's father has a new baby.. I went out and bought the baby all types of gifts..
I call, we speak.. HI, HOW ARE YOU!

Some women are jus so caddy!

My FH wanted to be with the mom, she is the one that left him.. He even waited for her to move in with him when they had their child. She said she wasn't ready to move in.. but a year 2 yrs after that, she moves in with another man.. My FH was so hurt over this... He gave them a hard time, because she did it behind his back.. so that's why , she is giving him a hard time. She is no longer with that guy either.. she is alone.. so I think that's why she gives him a hard time..

WEll goodnes, I feel for both of you I have also the same problem, My FI also has a daughter she is 14 wonderful kid but when she goes to see her mom every 2 weeks watch out !!! she come back possesed by the She-devil, but we already know the routine so we just put Chrissy back into her normal mentality. We have chosen not to tell FI ex since she is a DRAMA queen she will do anything and I mean anything to make out live miserable. I honestly do not care when she finds out but I do not want to herat her crying and bitching, and making Chrissy;s life miserable because of it; She lost custody about 2 yrs ago for being irresponsible and a drinking problem and failing a drug test. I never talk to this woman unless it is about Chrissy's behavior in school and it is best like that. As for the future I will not even think about it, I love my FI so much that I will keep being patient.

OMG. I feel so bad for all of the children involved. Why is it that some of the adults are less mature than the kids?

I might get flamed for this but I was a step-child... TWICE. My mom died in an accident and my Dad quickly (within a year and a half) got married and it was over within 6 months (he was married to my mom for 16 years and thought it would be better if we had a mother... that's typical of his generation), then he dated a woman for five years before getting married to her. She had issues too, not as overt as the first one. Needless to say, and again please don't flame me, there was no way I was dating a man with kids. Basically, because of my past, I knew I couldn't relive the nightmare. I know we all have a past but I have enough to deal with taking care of my Dad, working full time etc., I didn't want my FH's past showing up every weekend. I also didn't want the extra pressure on our marriage. It would brak my heart to see the kids go back and forth. I teach high school and I see what joint-custody does to kids. I agree theey should have access to their parents but these kids are stressed out traveling back and forth, having two bedrooms. Instead of having two homes and two families, they often feel like they have none.

Ladies, I applaud you because I know I don't have it in me. My FH was married once before (psycho) but thankfully she was told about our situation, lives in another state, and FH told her that because they have nothing betweeen them that he wishes her luck but he is building a new life and it's not appropriate that they talk anymore. She was sooooo awful to him and his family, lies, abuse... ugh so much that she is lucky he was so nice when he said good-bye. That wouldn't have been me... as my grandma used to say 'She'd have gotten my Irish up' and I would have ripped her a new one... and I don't mean a dress

my fi has a son and he is a doll but the mother is another issue!

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They have no child support order and no custody arrangement in place so long as FI plays nice and is single.

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girl protect the interest of you and your fi! encourage him to seek joint custody of his son. these mothers try so hard to control the situation and you will find that your whole life will revolve around her and she will dictate everything! sometimes the men really don't know how to handle it and allow the mother way too much leeway. believe me it can turn into a big headache. my fi has joint custody and we will be going for full in the beginning of the yr. his son's mother is just garbage and borderline neglectfull! fm me if you ever want to chat.

I dont have any but I have been a step-child since I was 7 years old. Its not the easiest thing in the world let me tell you.

Its best to make sure that the child never feel second best or less than in any way to any biological children you may have in the future. Of course that is obvious though for you ladies I am sure.

Its hard to understand for kids at first but sooner or later it gets better provided that the parents nuture it that way.

FM if you have any questions from this perspective.

I am so sorry that some of the mothers are being that way to you soon to be wives. Thats just childish and in the long run it only hurts the child!

For sure.. I jus feel.. CAN'T WE ALL JUS GET ALONG!

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Posted by hbradio

I dont have any but I have been a step-child since I was 7 years old. Its not the easiest thing in the world let me tell you.

Its best to make sure that the child never feel second best or less than in any way to any biological children you may have in the future. Of course that is obvious though for you ladies I am sure.

Its hard to understand for kids at first but sooner or later it gets better provided that the parents nuture it that way.

FM if you have any questions from this perspective.

I am so sorry that some of the mothers are being that way to you soon to be wives. Thats just childish and in the long run it only hurts the child!

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thank you so much for the advice..i feel very under pressure to help his children feel loved and secure in our relationship..i hope i do well!!