Anyone having a very non-tradional wedding?

I am planning a small & intimate wedding with about 50 people. I don't really like the cookie-cutter type wedding and don't feel like it is for me. What I really want is just a party with family and close friends.. nothing extravagant.

The most important things to me are the location, the food, the music, the photography, and my hair/make-up. These are the things I am willing to splurge on. I want to do away with a lot of the other things I think are unnecessary.

For one, I don't want bridesmaids. I will have a maid of honor and maybe a flowergirl, but bridesmaids seems like a worry an expense I don't really need.

I don't want a DJ, as my fiancee and a lot of his friends are musicians, and we are picky and know exactly what we want. I don't like MC's, as have always seemed cheesy and irritating to me. (And the fewer paid strangers I need at my wedding, the better).

I have never been to a wedding like this before and I am a little worried that it may be too unstructured. I would like to follow some of the important traditions..like dancing with my father and having our song and first dance.. but I am not sure how this would work out. Has anyone had an untraditional wedding? And how did the night play out?

Anyone have any ideas? Advice? Anyone planning something similar?

I am having a small wedding too. I see the positives and negatives in both styles, but as my FH and I will be in major debt after we finish our PhDs, the small wedding seemed like our personal best bet :). Here's a really neat article that I used for a lot of my inspiration--I hope it helps!

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/weddings/2008/09/21/2008-09-21_the_4722_wedding_one_brooklyn_bride_prov.html

the Metropolitan in Glen Cove is awesome. The downstairs room (the club i believe is the name) might be perfect for you. They have a bar and plenty of seating in the front room and the food is amazing. They have a separate room for a sitdown dinner and i think it holds about 100 people. I think minimum is 50 people. The have room for a dj is you want and a dancefloor.

FH's friend works there and we have been to a few parties there and loved it. Good Luck

We are being a bit untraditional. We are having NO bridal party. There are many reasons why I'm not having bridesmaids but to name a few: I don't want to deal with girlish drama, and I can't see bridesmaids being any help to me because I believe that if you want a job well done, do it yourself. So therefore, I would still be doing all the work + alot more. My FH didn't want to pick a best man out of his friends for fear that they would get babyish about who was picked (and they can be VERY babyish). So we are not having a bridal party. I told him he can still pick a friend to be at the church and hold the rings or his Dad can even do that.

I'm getting married in a Catholic Church and having a reception of 120 ppl at the Crest Hollow so I'm following some tradition.

I'm not doing a boquet or garter toss either. I just want it to be a fun time.

As far as the DJ, you can have one man be the MC and DJ. He'll do very little talking since his focus will be on playing music.

I think Westbury Manor has a room that accomodates either 50 or 75 people.

But for 50 people I would suggest checking out nice restaurants where you can have a private room.

That doesn't really sound all that non-traditional to me. It just sounds like a lovely small wedding. You're still going to do a lot of the 'wedding stuff' so it's not that different. The number of people just means there will be way fewer people on the dance floor. We weren't dancers at our wedding, so it was kinda like you're saying. I had a DJ because the music played was important to me and I wanted the structure but otherwise nothing you say sounds all that out of the ordinary. We had only 2 girls and 3 guys total so it wasn't a big bridal party, but that's because I'm 30 and don't have that many close close friends anymore. It was all good.

Only big difference I see is that you're planning to spend 2 years planning this small wedding, and we did ours in 6 months. Any particular reason you want to wait so long to get married?

A lot of places have spaces that will suit your group. What about the Milleridge Carriage House? The food is so amazing at Milleridge -- I highly recommend a buffet. Everyone loves trying so many different types of food, especially when it's that good!

Good luck with your planning!

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Posted by cherryblossom

I am planning a small & intimate wedding with about 50 people. I don't really like the cookie-cutter type wedding and don't feel like it is for me. What I really want is just a party with family and close friends.. nothing extravagant.

The most important things to me are the location, the food, the music, the photography, and my hair/make-up. These are the things I am willing to splurge on. I want to do away with a lot of the other things I think are unnecessary.

For one, I don't want bridesmaids. I will have a maid of honor and maybe a flowergirl, but bridesmaids seems like a worry an expense I don't really need.

I don't want a DJ, as my fiancee and a lot of his friends are musicians, and we are picky and know exactly what we want. I don't like MC's, as have always seemed cheesy and irritating to me. (And the fewer paid strangers I need at my wedding, the better).

I have never been to a wedding like this before and I am a little worried that it may be too unstructured. I would like to follow some of the important traditions..like dancing with my father and having our song and first dance.. but I am not sure how this would work out. Has anyone had an untraditional wedding? And how did the night play out?

Anyone have any ideas? Advice? Anyone planning something similar?

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We were 50-something when we got married.

The bridal party consisted of a MOH and a BM.

My father passed away 7 years before our wedding. I walked down the aisle about 3/4 of the way and my DH (FH at the time) walked to meet me. Then we walked to the altar hand in hand.

We had a small wedding (about 100 people) at the George Washington Manor in the President's Room.

We didn't do the bouquet toss or the garter thing.

We had a string-quartet for the first half of the reception and someone who played piano mixed with CDs for the second half of the reception.

Thanks to everyone for your responses!

I was afraid that I would get reamed about the BM and MC comments... but it seems there are others who agree. I am 29 and don't have many close friends left either to be bridesmaids..

I am also trying to keep expenses low since we will be paying for the whole thing ourselves. I really don't want to spend more than $10,000.

The reason for the 2-year engagement is that we live and work overseas. We are teachers abroad and are only in NY for a few weeks in the summer. The date I put in here was only for registration purposes.

I would like to have the wedding next summer, but I feel like it would be too difficult to arrange long-distance. I feel like most venues won't even bother with you if you are not there in person. So maybe next summer will be for planning and the following summer will be the wedding... I don't really see any other alternative. I am not sure how much time is needed in advance to book a venue...?

I have been doing a lot of research online. I have really fallen in love with The Old Field Club. To me that would be my ideal location. I want a ceremony outside and the reception on-site. I like the whole backyard wedding feel.

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Posted by cherryblossom

Thanks to everyone for your responses!

I was afraid that I would get reamed about the BM and MC comments... but it seems there are others who agree. I am 29 and don't have many close friends left either to be bridesmaids..

I am also trying to keep expenses low since we will be paying for the whole thing ourselves. I really don't want to spend more than $10,000.

The reason for the 2-year engagement is that we live and work overseas. We are teachers abroad and are only in NY for a few weeks in the summer. The date I put in here was only for registration purposes.

I would like to have the wedding next summer, but I feel like it would be too difficult to arrange long-distance. I feel like most venues won't even bother with you if you are not there in person. So maybe next summer will be for planning and the following summer will be the wedding... I don't really see any other alternative. I am not sure how much time is needed in advance to book a venue...?

I have been doing a lot of research online. I have really fallen in love with The Old Field Club. To me that would be my ideal location. I want a ceremony outside and the reception on-site. I like the whole backyard wedding feel.

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Hi! I love the ideal of a small, intimate wedding. I'm close to booking Old Field Club, but I think their minimum number of guests for Friday or Sunday is 100, and Saturday is 120. Maybe you can try to negotiate with them to lower their minimum. FM me if you have any questions.

We'd been to a non-traditional wedding where there were more friends than family, all guests were required to wear white (all white wedding), and there was no traditional garter, bq toss, etc.
It was stunning and so memorable!
Everyone enjoyed it because the bride and groom enjoyed it, so as long as you'll be having a great time, everyone else will, too.

We are doing a non-traditional wedding. I feel the same way as you do about the cookie-cutter type of wedding....it's just not my style. I would have loved to have less than 60 people but when I made the list it turned out that we are going to have exactly 102 including me and FH.

I also did not want a big bridal party. So I am just having my sister stand with me as my MOH and my FH is having his best friend be his BM....that's it!

As for a DJ I feel the same way too! I always thought that MC's are very intrusive and I would rather not have one. So I picked a DJ without an MC and told him that I just basically want him to stand there and play music and take requests if anyone asks...I hate when you ask to play a song and they don't because the Bridge and Groom don't want to stray away from the list...totally understand but I'm just easy going when it comes to that stuff. We will be doing our first dance and the dance with my father and his mother and the cake cutting but that's it. We are not doing the bouquet toss or removing of the garter....I personally never like these traditions.

I think that you can do whatever you want and don't feel like you are weird for not wanting the traditional things. I'm getting married in flip flops on the sand and my FH is wearing Linen...not a tux!!

I had a 50 guest wedding at Watermill, I did a lot of traditional things but at the same time non traditional elements (I didnt have the BP entrance to the RH, the groom and gM where at the altar instead of walking down the aisle etc) we wanted a more layback feel to it but with traditional elements.. You can do whatever you and FH want is your day!.. Some of the places a check with a min of 50 guests are:
Tatched cottage
Swan Club
Watermill
Leonards

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Posted by Marianne13

I think Westbury Manor has a room that accomodates either 50 or 75 people.

But for 50 people I would suggest checking out nice restaurants where you can have a private room.

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My min is 50 and we're doing wm

Congrats!! And just to share my experience as a former bride, our wedding was very special to us b/c it was a small and intimate of approx. 75 guests. We did an outdoor garden wedding that included a garden ceremony and outdoor reception held in a tent. It was absolutely amazing! We included our own special touches by organizing entertainment (a small band and a belly-dancer) and activities at our reception (fire sparklers, guests participating in belly-dancing, games, etc.) and working with our venues non-stop to make sure the wedding involved our own ideas instead of vendors telling us what to include or should include, etc. The most important thing is to definitely add touches that are significant to both of you, ex. a family heirloom at the cake table or signing table, musicians playing the same song your parents danced to on their wedding day, etc. Click below link for more ideas and inspiration from our wedding:
http://www.nycityweddings.com/community/real_weddings/christine-and-julius.aspx
Best wishes on your big day!