Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

If so, how is it going? I moved in with my FH and his mother in February so that the money I was paying in rent could be the monthly hall payments instead. We definitely wouldn't be able to pay for the wedding if I didn't move in, it's still a struggle even now. We plan on getting our own place about for Feb 1st, but for now, this is how it has to be.

After 7 months there I can't stand it. Don't get me wrong, I love my FMIL and am grateful to her for her letting me live there but I still hate living with her. We are not in a separate apartment so there is no separation. When she cleans, she moves our stuff and we don't find it until weeks later. Last night I was looking for my cookie sheet to make dinner and couldn't find it. Turns out, she thought it was hers (and still does) and threw it away...this is the 2nd one in 2 months. I don't really care about the cookie sheet, it's more the principle. Just because something isn't to her liking, she moves it or gets rid of it. If she asked first, it wouldn't be a problem. She feels like since it's her house, she can do whatever she wants. I respect that it is her house, but she can not do whatever she wants with MY stuff. Well, needless to say, I broke down. After months of keeping all of my frustration inside, I let her have it. I feel bad but she needed to hear it. Funny thing is, she thinks I am wrong and just trying to start trouble Ugh. I can't take it anymore but unfortunately have to. The only reason I like going home is because FH is there. I am just not happy right now. Please let these next few months go by quickly.

Thanks for letting me vent. I can't go to my family or friends as they will tell me to move out now or tell me something else I haven't already thought about. As much as I would love to get out of there now, financially it's not an option. I just have to deal. But I do feel better now that I wrote this.

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

I don't know how you do it - I give you credit.
I could never !!! - Do yourself a favor, join a gym, take a class, do something to keep yourself out of the house and out of her way for the next few months. -
b/c it will get worse and you will end up fighting w/ your FH - you don't want to begin your marraige like that

Keep your sanity !!! - I'm always available for margaritas !!!

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

OMG! thank God for our apartment.Just pray or go out for walks or something.

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Well, we don't live with his parents, but we live with mine and we don't have a separate apartment. It's tough at times, but it's actually ok. We have a huge bedroom with a livingroom set up with our couch, plus our own bathroom, and a loft with a couch where we can hang out, so we really don't step on eachother's toes. When it gets tough, we just remind ourselves of the money we are saving. But we are in the middle of nowhere living out on the north fork and I hate not having as much privacy as we had when we lived in our own apartment. It was a tough transition, but it's only for a few more months. THANK GOD!

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Sorry to hear your living situation isn't great. I also live with FH and his family...not just parents but two sisters also. We live in the basement though so none of our stuff gets touched. She never says anything about the way we live down here. So my situation is much better than yours, but I do feel like I am being strangled living here because I like to cook and I like to put certain things up around the house and I just feel like I can't do any of this because I don't know how long we will be here.

Here's some hugs for you though

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

I know EXACTLY how you feel, only we are living with MY mother! Nothing is sacred in the house- she even goes in our bedroom when we aren't there and picks up after us! HELLO! We are 2 grown individuals who can take care of themselves! We have been living there since the wedding, which was 4 months ago. Thank God were are moving into our own place in 2 weeks...I swear DH would lose it if we weren't!

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

well I live with my parents, and I have encounter a problem that I did not experience while living with DH mother.(we were waiting for our apt to be ready years ago and spent 3 mos in her house.) We live with my fam to save for the house, my mother uses me as a buffer, she loves my DH but never wants to nag him, so she tells me then I tell him. If he does something she might not like I have to plea with him not to, because I know she is going to have a conversation with me about it. So my DH loves living there because we are really saving, but I get the brunt of it. It is hard I only have a yr and a half left. lol. 2 years down. lol. No major fights, I bite my tongue a lot. She always does a 'spring cleaning' with my stuff. It is more enjoyable for her to get rid of my things.

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Not yet, but I just found out Tuesday that my lease isn't being renewed & I have to leave by November 30th.

So if we can't find a place soon enough, we may end up at his parents house less than 2 months after we are married.

Nice as they are, I am dreading it.
I have been on my own since college. :

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

We have been telling ourselves the whole time that we were only doing it for the money. But- it just came to be too much. I love my mom, but she is always coming into our room when we just want to be by ourselves, she calls me constantly into the other room with her, and it just gets to me. I think she is so used to having me to herself that she forgets that I am a married woman and that my HUSBAND is also at home with us. She is very good to him, I can't complain about that. My brother happens to be the biggest problem. He is a derelict, and worries my mom to death, which she always passes along to me. I feel bad for her but, it's just time for us to get out so we can start our own life together, without having to factor in the both of them. I have enough to worry about with me and DH!

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

I'm gonna bump this one...i like it

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Thanks everyone. I do feel better. Good luck to all of you and let's hope that we get our own places soon!!!!


ETA: Queensbride - you were bumping as I was typing...lol

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

Um, we are THIRTY THREE years old and we are living with his MOM!

We moved in last October to save for house. We will probably be there for another 6 months, assuming we find a house we like in that time.

It's not bad, but I am ready to get back to our own place.

I lived on my own since I was 18. FH and I had our own apt. for 4 years. It's very hard to leave that.

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

I totally understand where you are coming from. I live with FMil and FBil. Now FBIL is my best friend in the whole world. Love him to death. FMIL thats another story. She drives me absolutly nuts I cant take it like you have no idea! She doesnt work at all, just sits home and does nothing, no cleaning nothing. The rest of us work. When i come through the door she tells me how tired she is and blah blah blah. So I say Um hello! You dont work.! She sits home all day and watches soaps, then complains she ahs no money. Get a job! I used to think she was great but I can not live with her at all. In the morning is what kills me the most. I have to be at work at 8:30 not so bad but I am always running late. It seems everyday just as I am about to put my foot out the door she decides she has some stupid story to tell me about people I dont even know! Im like Id love to hear the story (not) but Im gonna be late and she keeps tellin the story! I dont wanna be rude but you dont knwo how many times I have just gotten in my car while she is still chewin my ear off while Im backing out the driveway! Dosn't she get the picture? Maybe its me. I dont know. But I truly know how you feel. My only sanity is there is a door that locks between our floors. SHe has upstairs we have downstairs.

Re: Anyone live with FH and his parents and NOT in a separate apt?

I can relate. We've been living with my MIL & FIL since March. We're finally moving out (should be out this weekend- into our new house, yeah!!), and honestly, it went REALLY fast. There have been times I want to scream - more becuase I have no space than anything, but it is just really hard to live with other people. I've been very lucky - my ILs have been really great, but there are still things that just make me nuts, but since it's not my place, I can't really do anything about it. So, just hang in there - it'll be over before you know it and your space will be your space again!!!