Does anyone live with their future in-laws? Rent from them?
If so, how is that going for you?
My bf and I are renting the upstairs apt. in his parents house and we've been there for a year & a half. I didn't realize when I moved in that I would be going through what I'm going through now. I feel like i have no privacy what so ever and I've talked to my bf about it. They charge us $900 a month and I now want to move to another apt. On numerous occasions things have happened that I don't appreciate but it's a touchy subject because I know they'll be in my in-laws one day.
I try to pick and chose my words when telling my bf how i feel but it's his family and you know how that goes.
rockysmom23
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
My FMIL might be moving in with us and she wants every sec of my time, and butts into everything. I love her to death and we get along, but I need my space. So I sat her dwn and told her this. She isn't with us yet, but it is a possibility with in the next yr or 2. And it will not be fun. So I think We r gonna fix up the apt dwnstairs her other son lives in and let her share it with him.
SoontobeGallagher
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
We live on an attachment to his grandmother's house, and it's a nightmare. No privacy. She knocks on the door every night. She just RAISED OUR RENT! Seriously!?! You know we are saving for a wedding! Then she tells us that after the wedding she is going to raise the rent again! The woman is crazy!
Pinkchick913
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
I totally feel your pain. We get charged $900 a month but his parents hear everything!!!
We got into an argument last week and on Sunday when we went next door(yes you read that correctly)to his brothers(it's like Everybody loves Raymond over here)for dinner, his mother made some sly comment about our fight.
I don't make an effort 1 bit to go and hang out with his parents because the very last thing I want to do after sitting in an hour traffic home from work is sit downstairs and bs with them.
When we get engaged which will be VERY soon, his parents aren't going to lower the rent at all.
rockysmom23
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
If i was u, i would totally be looking into another place. I don't no where u live, but U can get a really nice 1 bedroom for 850.00 to 900.00 and u do not have to deal with that ne more. If i was on ur end i would have def opened my mouth about how it is none of her business and she needs to cut the apron strings...but i have a really really really short temper, and i HATE ppl like that!
Pinkchick913
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
Tell me about it. I was raised completely different. My parents would never...EVER charge us rent but I guess some people are just different and need the money.
I've been looking and I totally agree with you 100% to cut the apron springs already. It's been a big issue with my bf and I lately because there's been incidents where we went away and someone was upstairs using our bathroom. When we 1st moved in we didn't have a lock on our door(now we do)and we went away for a few days with my family and I came home to an empty roll of toilet paper.
One day my bf went out and I guess his mom thought I went with him and I was sitting upstairs in my living room on my laptop and all of a sudden I hear my door open and his mom just walked into my apt. She was looking for laundry detergent.
rockysmom23
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
The only advice i can give u is to look around at other places. I am sooo sorry u have to go thru this. FH mom has a key to our house (the house she grew up in) and she never even uses it. she will not come over if we r not there ne more (we had this discussion) (or her son who lives in the basement apt). Trust me, the only way u guys r gonna resolve this is to either sit everyone down and talk to them and lay dwn some guidelines or u guys r gonna move out. But ur FH HAS TO BE BY UR SIDE 110%! It is the only way this will work for u. What does he think about this?
Pinkchick913
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
He just paid off my student loan for $11,000(really looong story)so he tells me right now he doesn't feel comfortable moving.
I tried explaining to him that his parent's are charging us $900, so what would it matter if we paid them or paid someone else? I'm sure we could find just as nice of an apt. that we live in now for that amount.
I even told him I'd pay the security deposit so he really wouldn't have to pay a penny more then what he's paying now. I'm actively looking, but I just don't know if he's on board 100% just yet :(
We are looking to get engaged very soon and having him pay my loan sort of set us back, but like I aforementioned we are still paying $900 a month, his parent's aren't giving us a good deal so what does it matter? Personally...I'd rather give a stranger my money then fork it over to his parents every month
rockysmom23
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
Cheer up gurlie! It will take time. Try not to push the issue but def keep bringing it up. U shouldn't have to deal with this, and it is hard to have ppl like that in ur life. They seem to do it on purpose, that is my take on it. B/c they no it gets under ur skin. But i think ur FH needs to talk to them and tell them that just b/c u guys r renting their apt doesn't mean that they can invade ur privacy and talk about ur arguements. u guys r adults and r gonna have ur probs, and by them butting their noses in will only make it worse!
jwleewedding
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
I used to live with my FIL as well as my FH's eldest brother... I actually lived with them for close to 3 years before I lost it...
For me, personally, it just wasn't the ideal situation. I didn't have the privacy that I needed and it just never really felt like 'home' for me... so we ended up moving out and buying a place of our own.
Good luck with your situation, I hope it works out!
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
I moved into my FH's place two years and then some ago. We live in an apartment above his parents. He had been living there a few years before me (he previously lived with his ex girlfriend for like 3 years) and when he moved back in, he's the one who insisted on paying rent. They settled on 850 a month. When I moved in, we got a puppy and his mom would watch him while we were at work so I insisted on giving them more so we ended up at 950 a month. His parents are really sweet though and mind their business, they definitely don't stroll in looking for detergent!
There was a time when his mom offered to clean our apartment because we were working long hours. FH thought it was a good idea (it's his mother!) but I told him I felt VERY uncomfortable with her cleaning our toilets or washing my underpants!!! He saw my point and we were able to side step it. I think the part that ***** for me the most is just always being considerate? Like not being too loud late at night, keeping shared areas neat (im not neat by nature), and if we fight, I would feel paranoid that his parents can hear.
We stayed there to save money because we both work in nyc and we'd NEVER be able to save with the rent in the city. We decided to tough it out to save for a house which we just bought in November. We haven't moved in yet because we are renovating but his parents waived the rent since September without us asking. Like I said, they are really ideal as far as in-laws go so it makes it bearable.
Maybe your FH rather support his parents with a monthly income than give it to a stranger...still he needs to consider your frustrations.
ElovesJ117
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
I don't think I could ever live with my future in-laws. I would just not be comfortable. With my own family I can be honest and open. If someone at my house was annoying me or doing something that irked me I would tell them. But I feel that if I was living at their house if someone was annoying me or I was insulted by something I wouldn't be able to say anything because they would all be offended or feel that I was being rude. I don't know. My FH and I have been dating for 5 years and I can count the number of times I even open their refrigerator on both my hands. Bottom line their home is not my home and I would feel very uncomfortable living there.
XFINALLYX
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
as someone who lived with their in laws for 2 years straight and a few months at a time over the years.. and now OWNS a mother/daughter with them, i BEG you to look elsewhere. it's been nothing but stressful and a heartache!
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
HELL NO..NEVER LOL does that answer your question lol
Clover23
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Re: Anyone live with their future In-Laws?
Yup, I'm in the exact same situation as you are, and feeling the exact same way. Except we pay $800 a month. It has destroyed my relationship with MIL. we just started looking for houses.
