Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
Jordan
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Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
For instance, if you have a friend who is a calligrapher is s/he doing your invites 'in lieu of' a gift for your shower or wedding? Or if you have a friend who could teach you both dance lessons 'in lieu of' a gift?
If so, how did you go about presenting this option to a friend who has a talent you could use (or a talent they've offered to you)? Or how did you go about taking your friend up on this offer?
Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
in all honesty...if they are people I really care about...i would do it for free..in addition to any gift...its my pleasure to help out friends!!
Misty
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
The people that played our ceremony music gave us that as a gift...and also suprised us that night with an additional musician (violinist) as an extra 'gift'. It was so unbelievably special. We had always planned to ask them to play our ceremony, and when we did and offered to pay them, they refused, and said their services would be our gift. The vocalist was a makeup artist also and did my makeup, my mom's, and my sisters...for nothing. I was completely dumbfounded. They did SO much for us it was nuts. But DH and I bought them a big thank you present (that they almost didn't want to accept) and gave it to them on the day of our wedding.
If it's offered, and it's something you want/need....I say accept it, especially if it's something that saves you a lot of time, stress, and money! It adds a very special element to the day.
Jordan
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
What if you know your friend really couldn't afford a shower gift & a wedding gift (and thus may not come to one or both b/c of this but her presence there is what's important to you, not the gift(s)) - would you make an offer, a barter?
jenny2penny
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
I kind of agree. If I had a tallent, I would offer my service for free. If it cost something I as the bride would pay for the materials.
joeslauren
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
One of my BM's made a bunch of things for my wedding as a shower gift (RB's pillow, FG's basket, my purse, my proof photo album, 2 garters) and she actually asked me if I minded that she make this stuff, so I was very lucky! But if she hadn't I would take her aside one night and kindly ask her 'You know I adore your work or talent and it would mean so much to me if you _____' People alwyas love to help with weddings and I am sure she'll even find it flattering. Good Luck!
Misty
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
No, if the person was more important to me than gifts, I'd just beg her to come to everything and insist that it's ok to not bring a present...I don't think I'd ever ask....
Jordan
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
Ok...interesting.
I have a friend who has offered to choreograph our first dance (she has competed professionally in ballroom dancing) and she even offered that she could do calligraphy (another firend of mine offered this too). Money is very tight for my friend - by her own admission...I want to take her up on her offer(s) and I will most definetly offer to pay her (as IF I knew how much I should offer!) but I know for a fact that she wouldn't accept any money. I also know that she would want to come to my shower & wedding (which is soooo far off) yet it will be tough for her...so I wanted to tell her TACTFULLY that her choreography would be her gift to us.
Is this something I can do or am I not seeing a bigger picture?!
jenny2penny
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
since you are aware of her finances, if it was me, rather than coming out and makign it awkard, I would tell her, 'for everything you are doing for me, I cannot accept a gift for you. You help is gift enough!'
jennyg
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
My cousin is a pasrty chef and I asked her if she would be able to make my wedding cake. I told her it would mean alot to me and offered to pay her since I know its expensive and time consuming. She was the one who said she'd prefer it be my wedding gift. I was thrilled!
Jordan
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
OK, so when the time comes for me to take her up on her offer...I'll offer to pay her and take it from there.
Thanks everyone - I was having brain farts on how to go about approaching this situation. I mean I know how *I* would personally react if I was the one offering a talent, but not everyone's me. I just didn't want any awkward situations.
butterfly20
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Re: Anyone Use/Using the Barter System for Their Wedding?
one of my moms friends is in the same situation, and she is doing the hand calligraphy as her gift to us, we were told this when we got engaged
