Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

My fiance just tells me whatever I want is fine (as long as he can afford it) and he has absolutely no imput. He has not seen out reception room, has not met our photographer or our DJ. I had to drag him to the church (which he complained the entire way) I know guys hate this sort of thing, but I'm really stressed doing all the work.

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

mine was like that until he started seeing what I was doing, then he felt a little left out, so he is now helping her & there... but still not nearly enough!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Mine sounds like yours in a lot of ways. We have only very few details planned and we are getting married on August 31st of this year. He always says 'whatever you want.' We only have the catering facility, invitations and the DJ. We need- flowers, photographer, officiants, limos(maybe), and honeymoon plans. My fiance has seen the catering facility and has met with the DJ. He has no interest in the photographer, flowers or meeting with a priest and a rabbi. I dont want to do it all myself- just out of principle. The funny thing is, he is VERY VERY picky. He definitely has strong opinions, but, cant give any time or effort. But, I still love him and I have learned to deal. You are not the only one dealing with lack of involvement. Good luck!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Mine is just like that..he tells me whatever is fine..he tries to compliment me by saying that I have great taste and he trusts my judgement, but I know deep down he could care less, right now we are screening photographers online and every web site i like, he likes them ALL..its crazy, the only thing he actually didnt like was the first color I chose for my Bridal party, he said he wasnt crazy about it, and thats it. He did go with me to look at the reception halls, we looked all over PA, NJ and finally found what we wanted in LI. In his defense, he works about 50 -60 hours a week. In fact, he worked 14 hours today and thats why Im on here, becuase he is downstairs SLEEPING!! Its only 9!!!!! I would like to say its how much he works that makes him not be into wedding planning, but I KNOW its just his personality. He will gladly help plan the honeymoon..but things like photographer, videographer, he could care less. He is however, going with me to MEET the photographers, but he could care less who we hire. So you are not alone, from what I hear, alot of men are this way. Have FUN!!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

mine is just like that too. his only job is to book the honeymoon - i hope that he can handle that!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

mines not like that.. but i would say all he really needs to see is the church and the reception hall..

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

So atleast we know this is common practice for men! Whats funny, is when we got engaged, I said I didnt want a big wedding..I said lets go to vegas,..My fiance is the one that said ' no, lets have a nice wedding, we'll regret it if we go to Vegas'..so we decided we'll do Vegas for like a 13th wedding anniversary, have Elvis or meatloaf set us up..anhyhow, but he is the one who said lets have a real wedding, and Im the one doing all of the planning!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

radiostar..that was FUNNY!! I laughed so hard at what you said! Thanks for making me laugh!!!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Even though youre not joking.it makes me laugh..Im STILL laughing about that! Men are just so strange. My fiance doesnt have a clue either..thats probably why I found yours so funny. I liked the 16 year old sister doing your makeup and staying at your mother in laws house.Good job! VERY FUNNY!!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

I told my FH upfront that I am not like most brides. I want him to be involved and I want him to get pampered and catered to. I told my photographer that as much as I may be the one in the white dress, I wouldn't be getting married if it wasn't for my wonderful partner in crime. FH works with a lot of women who have told him that I will give him three choices and still go with the one I like. I told him he has as much say as I do about things affecting both of us (he has no say in what the girls wear). I also told FH that if I am not monitored, I could become a control freak Bridezilla, so by him showing interest, it keeps me in check

We chose the hall, photographer, favors and invitations together. He said flowers are up to me, my mom and his mom (both mom and fmil are flowers ladies and they like each other, so flower shopping with them should be fun)

Let your FH get involved at his own pace, this may be overwhelming for him

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

I picked out 4-5 of each that I liked. then we went through it together and narrowed it down and made appt. he was at every appt with me. He wanted to be involved.

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

Brian is not involved in our wedding one single bit, and I like it that way. I love him to death, just because he isn't in to picking out DJ's or Photographers doesn't mean he doesn't care. Think of it as a benefit. It will save you two from a lot of arguments!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

I know that is right..if my fiance wanted too much say in the wedding, there may be abit of conflict..I just want him to really go along with me so that I dont get lost ecause I dont know where the **** Im going in LI>

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

MY FH is the same. First of all, he says I am obsessed with LIW and with the planning of the wedding. I told him I'll be obsessed for the next 9 mos. (date Feb6 2004) LOL He did go see the reception hall with me. We haven't registered yet but, I just want him to go with me to start the list. I'll go back solo and add add add! Plus, some of his ideas he was throwing out there were really scaring me. In a way, I am happy he won't be too involved. What I will do is make a selection of vendors, etc. and present them to him so that he can choose and feel part of it.

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

J.T. and I sat down and decided together what we were going to plan together, what I was going to take care of and what he was going to take care of(which, was nothing in the end!), and it made me feel better. I was feeling like he didn't want to be involved, and then he explained to me that there are certain things he really doesn't care about and he trusts my decisions. For example, he could care less about what flowers we use or how we fold the friggin napkins. Which is totally understandable. But the other things, like DJ, Video, Photography, Reception Hall, Favors he really wants a say in. Wow, now that I look at it, he really is involved. Whoops. Well, anyway, Iwould talk to your FH and make a list of what's important to him and that will get him more invlved. Tell him it's stressful to do alone. Which it is!

Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

I am perfectly happy with FH's involement, its just enough. We both have very busy schedules, so anytime I met with a vendor he came if he could. I have final say in everything, but really that's how I like it. Don't get me wrong, FH agrees with everything I'm planning, but he hasn't been planning his wedding since he was a little boy & even though I don't know if I realized it before I started planning, I have been envisioning my wedding since I was a little girl. And FH always does anything I ask, so if I want him to more, he does.

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Re: Anyone's Fiance not really involved?

My FH is not involved either. Like aliciahelene, I didn't want a wedding either, but he said we'd regret it. That's the last opinion I heard from him! At first it upset me, but now it really makes my life easier. I can do things how I want, when I want. I told him to plan the HM, he's happy with that.
I know he's excited about the marriage, it's the details ( flowers, dresses, invitations etc.) that don't really interest him.

Radiostar you are too funny!