appropriate gift - revised

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Posted by Kerin2804

Everything is relative to the relationship as well as how much the couple can afford.

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i agree, its not just about one standard gift that should be given. For one depends on how close you are to this person. You are going to give more to a very close friend, very close family member than a wedding where maybe you dont know them as well. Also depends on the couple and what they can afford at the moment. You have some couples where they might still be in college or just 1 of them. Then theres older couples who might be at their jobs alot longer verses somebody just starting their career. Other responsibilities.

So although you'll get alot of answers just keep in mind your relationship to this person and what you feel comfortable giving.

What dh and i do is give about $250-300 starting with. If its close friends and family we give more

I think any gift is appropriate. people have so many different financial situations that it is hard to put a price on it. And technically gifts are not requiered, so any gift is okay!

To be honest, the amounts had nothing to do with the closeness of the relationship or what the person could afford.
Some people stunned me with deep generosity, some did not. Also, I may have had a slightly too high expectation from what I read on the board!
I would certainly say, don't count any eggs before they are hatched when it comes to wedding expenses.

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Posted by marriedinmontauk

To be honest, the amounts had nothing to do with the closeness of the relationship or what the person could afford.
Some people stunned me with deep generosity, some did not. Also, I may have had a slightly too high expectation from what I read on the board!
I would certainly say, don't count any eggs before they are hatched when it comes to wedding expenses.

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it is true. See i was thinking about it from my point of view as to what dh and i do. But it is funny bc looking at what we received for our wedding sometimes this doesnt apply. We had some very close friends who gave more than others, but then there were people there that we werent extremely close with and gave more than other close friends and family. Not that someone has to give a certain amount just bc they are close to us, but just that there were some ppl i didnt expect to give as much as they did, and again that works vice versa. There were ppl who were very well off financially and gave alot less than those who we know are not as well off, and dh and i knew their situations so didnt expect much bc its understandable.

I admit it - I decide based on how expensive the wedding is and how much it cost me to go. I can literally walk to Atlantis, but if I have to book a flight, I don't have as much to give. A hotel stay will also come out of the gift. Small dinner party wedding? I'll give an item rather than cash.

When I was a bride, I was more concerned that people would decline because they felt obligated to give a certain amount, and it totally freaked me out. I didn't care at all, I just wanted to make my minimum head count. I actually fell a little short, and some people were saying, 'Things are just so tight for us right now.' I kept thinking (but obviously, couldn't say) 'I don't care how tight it is, I need 10 people at table 14 - slap on a dress and EAT.'

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Now that I've read the poll results, I'm amazed. We certainly have never been able to afford $300. Although, lets see what happens when my sister gets married.

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Posted by DrWho

I admit it - I decide based on how expensive the wedding is and how much it cost me to go. I can literally walk to Atlantis, but if I have to book a flight, I don't have as much to give. A hotel stay will also come out of the gift. Small dinner party wedding? I'll give an item rather than cash.

When I was a bride, I was more concerned that people would decline because they felt obligated to give a certain amount, and it totally freaked me out. I didn't care at all, I just wanted to make my minimum head count. I actually fell a little short, and some people were saying, 'Things are just so tight for us right now.' I kept thinking (but obviously, couldn't say) 'I don't care how tight it is, I need 10 people at table 14 - slap on a dress and EAT.'

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Now that I've read the poll results, I'm amazed. We certainly have never been able to afford $300. Although, lets see what happens when my sister gets married.

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I have a feeling that two people that recently RSVP'd no did so because they can't afford what others consider an appropriate gift. Add on the cost of an outfit, transportation, babysitter, etc and it's out of some people's league. Especially now with all the BS going on with the economy.

I'm really sad about this -- I wanted them there to share my day.