I just find out that my sister in law (my only brother's wife) kind of hinted that she feels bad that she is left out of the bridal party. And because of that she is not flying in until the day before the wedding. Whereas my brother [a groomsman] and his son [the ringbearer and my godson] are flying in on Tuesday or Wednesday. The rehearsal dinner is Thursday night. Now they livei n Fl, I am in NY. They used to live in Ny until a couple of years ago. We were never really close. Only spoke when we saw each other at family functions. I haven't s/w her on the phone since they moved to FL. I keep in contact with my brother via phone. Anyway, it really bothers me that she had something to say, like she was expecting to be in the bridal party. And she also mentioned that their daughter is not in the bridal party. I wanted a small bridal party b/c I have been in many weddings where practically the whole quest list is a bridal attendant. I am having people very close to me be in it, my sister, college roommate and best friend from high school. And the flowergirl is my FH only niece. To be fair we picked my godson to be the ringbearer and his niece for the flowergirl. My sister just got married last year and my brother's whole family was in the bridal party. When my brother got married I was a bridal attendant in their wedding, so was my sister. Am I wrong to feel annoyed. Or did I make a mistake? I don't think I did. Especially since we are not close and dont even talk.!!! Opinions please. Sorry so long.
ChristineC68
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I dont think you are wrong to not invite her to be in the BP. It's whoever you want and are close to. I think its childish that she has wont come in earlier with the rest of her family and will miss spending time with everyone else but that's her loss.
smooch
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
You are certainly not wrong. You decide who is in your bridal party. If she had you in hers, that's great, but you have no obligation to have her in yours. People forget that the wedding is about the bride and the groom, not about everyone else...
Don't feel bad. You did what you wanted to do, it's YOUR wedding.
julybride444
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
You're not wrong! I wanted a small bp too, and my fiance and I have many close family members. I picked my younger sister, my brothers youngest daughter (he has two) and my sister's youngest daughter (she has two). My brother picked his twin and not his sister. No in-laws are in the bp. We just explained to everyone that wasn't included that we were having a small wedding, and we couldn't have EVERYBODY in the bp, otherwise no one would be there to watch!
We are having the siblings that we didn't choose to have in the Bridal Party do readings. Maybe this is an option, but only if YOU want it to be-there are no 'givens' in bridal parties and weddings-it's who you want.
Stacey1403
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I don't think you should feel bad. You were right to choose the people closest to you, and also to have a neice and nephew from both sides. It sounds like your SIL needs to grow up a little. Enjoy your day and don't worry about what she thinks!
WeezieNY
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I always thought in-laws were a rarity in bridal parties anyhoot. Thanks, for making me feel better.
WeezieNY
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I was already thinking of having my niece hand out the flower petal cones and church programs and of course have my siterinlaw help her. We haven't discussed who will do the readings.
spel
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
of course you should not feel bad! it is a very personal decision. however, its easy for feelings to get hurt in these situations. it always seems to happen, unfortunately. i hope my FSIL is not upset that i didn't ask her, but honestly, i wouldn't even consider it. just my best friends & my close cousin.
HearzBellz
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I am in the same boat. Don't feel bad for people that expect things...you do not owe anybody anything on your wedding day. There must have been a reaso you made that choice - just remember that.
kelly6273
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
I don't think that you did anything wrong here. You made a decision and you should stick by it. I find it very tacky that she said something to you about it. I would just forget it and move on. You've got better things to be worried about.
maysie18
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
Go with your first instincts - they're rarely wrong
Sassyz75
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I think she is very selfish to make you feel bad- she should have respected your decision. I didn't have my sister-in-law in the wedding (who is also in Florida).... I only picked who I felt close to and so should you! She shouldn't make you feel bad! Don't sweat it- you made a good decision.
What-Now
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Re: Are my feelings in the right????
You can't be right or wrong in things like that! It's your wedding and your bridal party! You are the only one who can make a decision of who is going to be in it! Some people might disagree with your decision but it's still your call!
