Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Hallowedding
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Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Everyone we talk to who casually asks us when we're planning on having kids can not accept that we don't want to at all. Everyone says, 'Oh you'll change your mind when you're older?' But I'm 26 and my fiance is 30, and frankly, we're too selfish and wrapped up in each other to share ourselves with anyone else, and we simply do not want them. Does anyone else have this problem? Are we the only ones who feel this way?
jantany26
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
You have the right to feel like that. They are a lot of couples who don't want children and are happy like that.
RedHead
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
One of my good friends does not want kids...I have know her forever...she never did.. I thought she would go out of it too but nope
ETA..i don't think that is selfish i think it is knowing yourself and if your SO feels the same that so be it
coxmandi
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Nope, you aren't alone. My boss and her husband don't have kids and never wanted them. They enjoy traveling and being together and are looking forward to retiring together. When she wants to hang out with kids she watches her neices and nephews and remembers why she didn't want kids.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Nope you are definitely not alone. I hate getting harassed about having children too.
soon2bMrs
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
I don't think you are selfish. My aunt & uncle don't have any children and we a have friends who aren't planning on having children. I think it is great that you know what you want and don't feel the need to have children to fit the supposed 'norm'.
cocoa
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
not at all...i know some people, too. and you know what? i admire that. better to not have a child than have one for the sake of society only to not really have wanted him/her in the first place and feel resentment. children change EVERYTHING and that is scary. i think recognizing that you don't want them is a brave thing and i give you guys a lot of credit!
usuk2004
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
I think it's probably more selfish to have a child just to suppress some feeling that 'you have to' when you don't really want one. Personally, I couldn't see myself without children, but it's your choice and it is admirable that you know what you want.
Still, never say never....
newnybride2be
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
You are not alone. FH and I have talked about not having any. We are still young, but its really not something I am looking forward to. I get the same thing from people, wanting to know if we plan on having kids after the wedding and htey are shocked that I say I have no desire to. I love kids, but OTHER people's kids. You get to send them back to their parents when they are bad Anyways, things can change in the future, but right now we both dont see it in our fuiture. My grandfather's wife doesnt have kids.
frosty
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
You are NOT alone. FH and I are not having kids. We had the discussion early on in our relationship, and decided that we were not interested in having any children. That was 8 years ago. I haven't regretted my decision at all.
And you are NOT selfish. You have realized that it isn't the type of lifestyle you want. I HATE it when people come up to me and say, 'You HAVE to have kids!!' No, I don't.
FH and I are close friends with a couple who have 3 kids (ages 8 to 14). We love the kids and enjoy hanging out with them, but spending time with them has just reinforced our decision not to have children.
Don't allow other people to put their expectations on you. There is no law that says you must have children. It is a very personal decision between you and your FH. If you are happy and comfortable in your decision, then no one else has a right to judge you.
Irishbride
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
You are not alone. DH and I are not having any children. People tell us that we will change our minds or we will be very lonely when we get older. I love other people kids but have no desire what's so ever to have any.
Donna&Joe708
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
You are not alone...my FH and I feel the same way. I'm almost 30 and my biological clock has not even begun to tick and I'm not sure if it ever will. I'm tired of people saying that we'll change our mind!
divabride
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Same here!! Im 28, FH is 34 and we KNOW that we arent having kids. I always tell people 'Just as sure as you were about having kids, we are just are sure that we do not!!' Its good to know Im not the only one on these boards that choose not to have children.
frosty
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Posted by Donna&Joe708
I'm almost 30 and my biological clock has not even begun to tick and I'm not sure if it ever will.
I'm 38, and never heard any tick whatsoever.
Hallowedding
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Thank you so much ladies! We have never met anyone who feels the same way as we do, so it is very comforting.
It bugs me that people think we're immature or 'still young' because of it, or that there is something wrong with us. I think that we are very mature to be so sure of a decision. But on that note, I am still afraid for me or my fiance to get 'fixed' (although I wouldn't do it for another 10 years or so). I wonder if that means that I'm more 90% sure than 100% after all...
I have 12 nieces and nephews and my fiance has 2, so there are enough kids around us. I lived with three of them for 20 years (current ages 21, 11 and 8) so I raised kids already and I love to be away from the noise and chaos now.
It's so funny though, everywhere I go, kids (and dogs too) love me and gravitate towards me, even when I show them no interest. (I'm also the type of person who doesn't think a child is 'cute' merely because they exist.) My fiance told me it's because I'm lower to the ground than most adults (I'm 5'1') and look so young, so I'm less threatening than other adults. I know I would be an awesome mother too (boy, do I mother my fiance) and he would be the best father in the world, but we just can't do it.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
First let me say that I am not trying to change your mind AT ALL!!! With that being said, I have a good friend that I used to work with who never wanted kids. Her and her husband had always agreed on this. THey had a cute house, a boat, loved to travel, and were just so happy with their lives together. As my friend neared 38, I think she realized that soon she would no longer have a 'choice' and her and her husband began talking about it. They decided that they wanted to bring a child into their very happy home, and soon after were pregnant. She had a beautiful little boy, and wondered how she could have ever even thought of not having a child. She just gave birth to her second (and last) child, a daughter the same day I had my daughter. They are soon moving into a new, bigger house, in a neighborhood with sidewalks so she can take her children for walks.
Having a child is such a HUGE and PERSONAL decision, but if there even a 1% chance that you may change your mind, I would highly recommend not getting 'fixed', because then that 'choice' is gone.
nov.bride
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
I commend you- I think that your decision is right for you.
I don't like when people decide to have kids just because 'everyone does it' and they don't really even want them. I think thats selfish. I feel that peole who want kids should feel it in thier heart.
I felt the same way as you until about a year ago and suddenly it all changed for me.
I think you are very smart and in touch with your feelings.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Posted by meishie
Thank you so much ladies! We have never met anyone who feels the same way as we do, so it is very comforting.
It bugs me that people think we're immature or 'still young' because of it, or that there is something wrong with us. I think that we are very mature to be so sure of a decision. But on that note, I am still afraid for me or my fiance to get 'fixed' (although I wouldn't do it for another 10 years or so). I wonder if that means that I'm more 90% sure than 100% after all...
Although we are pretty sure we don't want kids, we agreed to stick to birth control for now. Our birth control works has been great for us, and neither one wants surgery. In the event we do change our minds, I'm sure we would be relived we didn't do anything so final.
newnybride2be
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
I wouldnt go to the extent of having surgery to not have kids, but at this moment in time I can see us not having kids. It fits both of our personalities. My mother always joked that i would, 'eat' my children if I ever had them. I just think some are made for it, while others of us arent.
CaCRmr
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Re: Are we the only couple in the world that does not want kids?
Posted by meishie
Does anyone else have this problem? Are we the only ones who feel this way?
