are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
alexlynn7
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are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
okay, so i am catholic and fh is jewish. since we started talking about marriage, i've been picturing our wedding as having both a priest and a rabbi. i imagined that we would incorporate both traditions into our ceremony.
then this past week we were in florida visiting the future in-laws, and the subject of the ceremony came up... fmil said that she would rather see us have just a judge or something rather than both a priest and rabbi. of course, my mistake was that i asked for her opinion, and now i'm sorry that i heard it fh is now basically telling me not to worry about it - it's our wedding, and we'll celebrate our marriage how we want to... but i was still upset that we'll be going against her wishes...
anyway, for those of you having an interfaith ceremony, how are you structuring your ceremony? will one officiant be the major one, with the other just participating? how will you balance the religious traditions?
thanks in advance...
eogara
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
We wanted a priest and a rabbi as well. However, it's EXTREMELY difficult to get a Catholic priest to do this outside of the church and you still have to promise that your kids will be brought up Catholic (not sure if this is a problem for you or not). We're going to have an interfaith minister, I believe, although now FH wants a judge because he thinks that by calling themselves an interfaith 'minister' they are aligning themselves with Christianity. It's totally false but whatever, we'll fight it out when we get to that part I guess.
What is FMIL's reasoning? Is it that she doesn't want a priest there at all? In the end though your FH is right. The ceremony, more than anything else that day, should reflect your and FH's beliefs, whatever they may be. Tough cookies to FMIL if she doesn't like it.
mrswask
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
I am Jewish and FH is Christian - I was raised with a lot more religion than he was and it is more important to me. We are having a Cantor and a Minister and when we first met with the Cantor he told us we had to decide which religion the ceremony was going to be 'more' of - in other words - which officiant was going to officiate the service and which was going to participate. Ours will be more of a Jewish service. Hope this helps...
Pam
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
This part can be very touchy.
We're using an interfaith rabbi who will be incorporating aspects of both religions. She is basing the ceremony on the joining of 2 families and people instead of focusing on religion. If you would like her name forum mail me.
Good luck!
nferrandi
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
We're having a priest and a rabbi, actually I think he's a reverand, but anyway, they're pretty much sharing the ceremony and neither religion will be the focus. They bith have their own opening prayer, we can choose 2 readings to be doen by either them or our family or friends. The priest will be the exchange of vows and the rabbi will do the exchange of rings. We will do the unity candle ceremony with the priest and then FH will be stepping on the glass. I think we are respecting and honoring both religions and ceremonies. Both of our parents are pleased.
mnttnbchbride
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
well, we are going a different route. Same issue - FH is Jewish, I'm not. We're actually having his sister marry us - we're getting her 'legal' to do it. Basically, we wanted someone who knew us both, and we knew that for us we didn't have any religious figures to fill that role.
Plus, he and I wanted to write the entire ceremony with what we wanted- again, really personal. We picked traditions that we liked from both faiths, and then added our own stuff.
IMO, as long as the ceremony represents BOTH of you, you can have whomever you want marry you.
alexlynn7
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
girls, thanks so much for all of your input!!
we sort of have a 'family priest' who presides over all of our occasions and who has agreed to participate in our wedding. haven't spoken to him yet, though, so i'm hoping he doesn't make me promise that our children will be catholic! we definitely won't promise that, so if he makes us then that will present a problem.
nferrandi, your ceremony sounds exactly like the kind i want to have.
pam, i will fm you regarding your interfaith rabbi - even though i'd like a priest there as well, it would be nice having a rabbi who is experienced in interfaith ceremonies.
i think having a family member made 'legal' to marry you is a great idea, though i don't really trust any of our family members not to somehow embarrass us. LOL
MissM
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Re: are you having an interfaith wedding? (long, sorry)
We are interfaith too - Monsignor Lisante is AWSEOME and he works with a lot of Rabi's (they will give you the list when you call). We did an 'interfaith' pre-cana with about 20 other interfaith couples and it was great - both the Monsignor and the Rabi Alan Block spoke. I can't recomend them enough!!
Both religions are represented equally which was importand to us.
