Are your partner's actions a reflection on you?

I ask this question because I was on the train with a male acquantance of mine this morning and we were having a discussion.

I was telling him how for the past 3 years FH throws a BBQ for our friends.

The first year, I made a list of things to buy, we went shopping together, and he was in charge of the guest list.
Well that BBQ did not go well, because while we had plenty of food he did not confirm the guest list.
We only had about 15 ppl out of 50 and mucho food.

2nd Year- Fh said he wanted to do EVERYTHING by himself because I usually take over. So I allowed him to do this. Well he forgot the condiments, aluminum foil, games etc. It was the worst!!! People were bored out of their mind. People kept coming up to me saying- how did I let this happen.

3rd Year- Success- He listened to all of my ideas, we worked together, food was plentiful, there were games- people had a blast.

I guess my question is even if it is your guy's event and it does not go well- Do you think it is a reflection on both of you because you are his partner? Won't people automatically defer to you.

My male friend says that people will just think my guy did a crappy job, not me.

Thoughts????

I think if you are both throwing a party, you should both make sure that you have everything.
One person shouldn't have to do everything themselves. If you are a couple,people will think you both threw the party together.

I think if you are a couple, definely you shoudl help each other out. If he says he wants to do it himself, I will still help, and see what he's missing.

My FH really appreciates that I am soooooooo organzied and prepared.

Same w/ Jenny2penny over here. We do things together. FH looks for me for guidance on doing things like this.

We are throwing our first bbq for my fam on Friday. I am writing up the grocery list, drink list. We will food shop together. We will cook and prepare together. I am the more organized and detail oriented one and he is more of the doer. We never really experimented him doing a gtg or packing for a trip on his own. I think he likes our system this way and so do I. Sometimes when I ask him to pick up something for me or don't forget this or that, well he forgets. If its on my list of things to do, he won't forget.

In answer to your question I think it is a reflection of both of you.

Thanks ladies.

This is what I thought. FH gets it now. You see he is a take charge type of guy. He knows that he needs my know how.