My Aunt is very ill. She has been for a long time - you name a disease, she's got it, pretty much. She has a very good friend named Diane, who's daughter, Nicole, is getting married in June.
I have met Diane a few times - nice lady. I have never met anyone else in her family, much less the bride, Nicole.
Recently, Diane sent me an engagement present. I was very pleased to get it, and have thanked accordingly.
HOWEVER, my mother and I just received invitations to Nicole's shower. Neither my mother, nor I, have EVER met Nicole. She could come up to me and bite me on the face and I wouldn't know who she was.
A shower invitation generally is followed by a wedding invitation, am I right?
So now, I've gotta send some girl that FH and I HAVE NEVER MET a shower gift AND a wedding gift, even though we're not going to either occasion, and quite honestly can't afford. ALSO, does this mean I have to include Nicole, her new Husband, Diane, and Her husband (and then probably Nicole's brother) on my guest list that is ALREADY TOO LONG?!?!?!?!?!
bobbsbride
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I know how you feel, but i know my mother invited many people I don't know to my shower and wedding that are her friends from work! I think they are just trying to do the right thing even if its a little far out there! Weddings make mothers crazy!
StepherG
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WOW! THat's a tough one. If it were me, I would send a small shower gift and then just RSVP 'no' to the wedding. That could be not what you're supposed to do, but it's what I would do for someone I hadn't met.
Also, I would not feel obligated to invite these people.
That's just me though. Good lUck!
KarenB
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PrincessRose, that would be the right thing to do. However, expenses like there are now, I think etiquette needs to be updated. I would send her a card and that is it. Same for the Wedding.
kel2004
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No way do you have to invite them to your wedding. I wouldn't even send a shower gift. How can you be expected to go to a shower for someone you've never met, who isn't even family? This is your aunt's friend's daughter. You should feel no obligation. JMO...
divabride
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If you do not know this girl, you are under no obligation to attend either event or to send a gift to the shower and/or wedding. If you are invited to the wedding, send a nice wedding card with some nice thoughts. That's about it!!!
BMD'sPeanut
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Posted by kel2004
No way do you have to invite them to your wedding. I wouldn't even send a shower gift. How can you be expected to go to a shower for someone you've never met, who isn't even family? This is your aunt's friend's daughter. You should feel no obligation. JMO...
I AGREEEEEEEEE
BMD'sPeanut
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Posted by divabride
If you do not know this girl, you are under no obligation to attend either event or to send a gift to the shower and/or wedding. If you are invited to the wedding, send a nice wedding card with some nice thoughts. That's about it!!!
I AGREEEEE--but I wouldnt even think a card is necessary.
MrsBrad
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I agree with the other girls, but if you want to be nice - I wouldnt send a shower gift - but maybe you could send them a frame as a wedding gift, if you decide to do that. You shouldnt be obligated since you dont know her, its all dependent on your relationship with you mom. BTW ... Its obviously her mom who invited you, im sure that the bride was like 'Who is this?' 'Why are they on the list' -- hahahaha -- assuming she is anything like the rest of us dealing with silly parents!!!
Summer Bride
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I dont want people that i never met at my shower or my wedding.. But I know my FMIL is inviting people that i have never met to both so I just have to suck it up. As for a gift I would just get something inexpensive.
Nora101004
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I don't think you have to give a shower gift if you aren't going to the wedding. And you don't have to reciprocate their wedding invite. If it keeps the peace in the family, get her something inexpesive that looks more expensive, ie a vase from a close out store and send it off. I saw very nice Mikasa stuff at Odd Lot/Odd Job the other day.
nicknmb
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Re: ARGH
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by divabride
If you do not know this girl, you are under no obligation to attend either event or to send a gift to the shower and/or wedding. If you are invited to the wedding, send a nice wedding card with some nice thoughts. That's about it!!!
I AGREEEEE--but I wouldnt even think a card is necessary.
I agree that there is no obligation to send a gift for either occasion, but a card would be a nice gesture...although I would have no clue what to write!
