Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!! UPDATE at bottom

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 24, 2005 09:38 PM

Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!! UPDATE at bottom

I went dress shopping today with my MOH, my Jr. BM, my FG and one of my friends who I asked to be in the wedding party this morning. (and to her credit, she showed up at the dress shop this afternoon.)

What ensued was me being driven crazy. I originally wanted yellow, they proceed to tell me they hate yellow. I said fine, let's just find a dress first, we'll worry about colors later. My MOH finds 3 she likes, but my friend didn't like anything except 1 dress, and then said to me, 'that's it, that's the dress'. Ummmm, I still have 3 other girls that need to try that dress on??? My MOH liked it also, but there was 2 other dresses she liked better, so I told her not to worry, she can wear a different dress anyway.

Then we get to the colors. She wanted a dark color, I said hello it's spring, I'm shooting for pastels here. So she said how about lavender or lilac, I said that would be my last choice. So they're both looking at the dress they both liked and she said what about red or black? I said I originally considered red, but black I'm not sure about, since so many people wear black to weddings, and it's more for a funeral. It was frustrating because everytime I turned around, I was hearing my Jr. BM insisiting on sky blue, my BM telling me how she hated every dress and every color, and my FG twirling around in the only dress that we all agreed on!

Augh!! (sigh) Should I just go with red and call it a day? The color isn't all that important to me, as much as making them happy and my MOH doesn't care as long as I'm happy. And I was considering red when we first got engaged, but now I'm seeing everyone and their mother choosing red......

Goldi1021 Posted: Jul 24, 2005 10:09 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

Keep an open mind but, I think you should ultimately have them wear what YOU like. Some BP members and I went to pick BP dresses with no color in mind except that I wanted a dark color for our winter wedding. The ladies each picked Bill Levkoff 2 piece sets in the styles they liked (all different - same fabric). I took the board with all of the sample colors in satin and we all felt that navy suited everyone's complexion best. If I didn't happen to like the richness of the navy color (whch to me seems more like a sapphire blue), I would have chosen something else and they would have to deal. Remember, it is your day and YOU have to be happy.

seta Posted: Jul 24, 2005 10:19 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

I think you should go with what you want..you are putting so much into this and your color scheme is very important..If you really wanted pastels...having a red dress may limit you to the type of flowers you are having...

As a suggestion...Did you ever think about navy? I know you mentioned black..I think navy is a good alternative to black.....I was in two weddings with navy and the dresses were beautiful..my sister was an early june bride...she orig wanted baby blue, but all of us bm's were split in the light blue..who looked too big..who looked washed out..etc..we went with navy and had a bo-k that had 3 shades of pink pale, medium and fushia..the picks came out amazing!!!!!!! The blue next to pink was really nice......oh and the 2nd navy i was in had yellow daisy bo-k's and those pics came out great too!!

I guess what i am try to say is there are other alternatives....so don't settle..IT IS YOUR DAY!!!!!!!

lrs2005 Posted: Jul 24, 2005 10:20 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

I went with all of my girls at one time and picked out a dress and then from what manufacturer had available we chose a color and they all agreed.

dbleplay17 Posted: Jul 24, 2005 10:29 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

u have them wear what u want! it is your wedding. if you were in their wedding and made comments like that what would they do?

Jennie0898 Posted: Jul 24, 2005 10:40 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

Ok, here's my take on the situation today...

I think your first mistake was that you took too many girls with you. (You know the old saying - too many chefs spoil the broth...) Next time go with your MOH and maybe if your close, you mom. That's it.

Secondly, you're giving them too many choices. Letting them pick the dress and the color - too much. Hell, I know when I'm given too many choices I have a tough time making a decision.

I think you should pick a color and then go look for a style with the above mentioned people. When you come up with the one (and who knows? You may have to do this on your own) bring back the others and say here it is. Get your measurements taken. I would advise you to be aware of everyone's body shape but the bottom line is this... It's YOUR DAY and your BMs should wear what's ultimately going to make you happy. It's nice to consider everyone's tastes but understand, you are NOT going to please everyone and they will have to deal with that. Period, End of Story.

Good luck and don't let your BMs push you around.

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 24, 2005 11:09 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

Thanks ladies!!

All of my BM's and my MOH would basically tell me they don't care what color or dress, as long as I'm happy. It's the one BM that I added last minute that had a problem with everything. I was almost ready to tell her, this is what I want and if you have a problem with it, just be a guest instead of a BM.

To her credit, I realized that she has never been a BM before, has never been in a wedding, so she doesn't know how this works. I guess she thought she just picks a dress she likes and calls it a day.

I now have to tell her it doesn't work that way. Although telling her while I value her input, I need the input of ALL 6 GIRLS to be on the same page, is going to bother her. But screw it, I'm not going to deal with the frustrations of having one girl unhappy.

CC59 Posted: Jul 24, 2005 11:13 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

You have to go with what you want. Let's say you have 5 bridesmaids, guaranteed you will have 5 different opinions on color, style, fit, etc so YOU have to step up and make a decision. It's not being a bridezilla, it's just something you have to do otherwise there will be chaos! If you want to compromise, pick a color and have each girl pick a different dress from the same designer. You shouldn't have to compromise the color that you want.

hmpena Posted: Jul 24, 2005 11:19 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

Sorry it was so rough! Definitely have a talk with the new BM and explain to her how it works. Then pick a color you want and inform the girls that it is that color.

M&LSept1606 Posted: Jul 25, 2005 12:16 AM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

I agree, I picked the color they're picking the dress.

We're actually going shopping tomorrow. can't wait!! wish me luck

leese Posted: Jul 25, 2005 09:07 AM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

i think you should just pick the color you want and be done with it. it's not the last dress they'll ever wear in their lives. that said, i was glad that sfp0214 chose a darker pink rather than a lighter one for the dress she chose because i felt it wouldn't had been very flattering. sooo.... my advice would be to

#1: find the right dress or let them pick their own dress in the same designer.

#2: choose color. maybe do a darker shade of your fav. color with the bridesmaids and a lighter for your MOH.

#3: bring them in small groups. that's what i plan on doing (have already started the process somewhat!)

#4: have a large glass of wine!

july06bride Posted: Jul 25, 2005 01:38 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!!!! (Long!)

good luck but make sure in the end you dont compromise and youre not happy! They should all wear what you want...
I went with the color it was pink no matter what... it wasnt me being a bridezilla it was that everyone would have a different idea of what they want and in the end it would be confusing... I chose 4 dresses that i liked emailed them had them look some liked some better than others...we all went to the store tried all 4 on and narrowed it down to 2 that all girls liked... I DECIDED the dress in the end,. YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY! Dont forget that! have fun with it!

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 25, 2005 07:02 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!! UPDATE at bottom

The bridesmaidzilla called me today without me saying anything and apologized and said that it's my day and whatever color or dress I want her to wear, she'll wear. Which makes me feel better, since the rest of the BM's were telling me the same thing. My MOH is wearing a different dress, so I'm not too worried about her.

I assured her that I have no intentions of making anyone miserable in their dress. I told her the color will depend on the dress (either red or yellow), since some makers don't have nice shades of yellow.

But so far, so good. Although the 2 BM's in my bridal party that are currently pregnant, are both on bedrest due to swollen legs!! Thank God they're both due before I need to order the dresses!!

Thank you girls for your support!!! Like FH always tells me, it will all work out in the end!!

CTarantino Posted: Jul 25, 2005 07:07 PM

Re: Attack of the bridesmaidzilla!! UPDATE at bottom

I am glad to read your follow up. Sounds very stressful and I have not even gotten there yet and we are on the same weekend. Oh boy my head is hurting already. Good luck and go with what you like...It is your wedding. I am sure that your girls will compromise.