B-Maid Dropped...LONG

So this past weekend, one of my b-maids dropped out, citing money reasons. Both of her brothers are getting married in 2010, although only one of them is having bridesmaids.

So, obviously I was like 'ok i understand' b/c what can you do when someone tells you that they have no money? Be like 'you must pay for my wedding!'

The annoying part is that I know that she's still going to go out to dinner and drinks all the time, and go on trips, and pay for other stuff (like clothes, etc). So I will feel extra snubbed every time I see/hear about her doing these things.

Basically I left it cordial, but now I want to be like 'it really upsets me that you'd rather be selfish and hurt my feelings than cut back on your entertainment/clothes.'

I don't know - any advice??

think of yourself as LUCKY that SHE dropped out and you didnt have to KICK her out in the end. trust me. if she stayed, a selfish person like that, will not do anything nice for you. She wouldve cause a lot of grief with the rest of the BP. youre better off.

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Posted by grkbarbie

think of yourself as LUCKY that SHE dropped out and you didnt have to KICK her out in the end. trust me. if she stayed, a selfish person like that, will not do anything nice for you. She wouldve cause a lot of grief with the rest of the BP. youre better off.

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ITA with Barb- It sounds like she is very selfish and would rather go out and party then enjoying your day with you. Good riddance - you dont need her

Did she not consider these things before she accepted your invitation to be a BM? It's not like you forced her into it. She accepted!

But anyway, I wouldn't say anything either. I would agree that you're definitely better off without her and any extra drama she might have created down the road like complaining about bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

I would leave it alone as well, She may not want to change her life style but cannot afford ur wedding and if both her bothers are getting married that's a lot even if she is only in one of the weddings she maybe only can afford to pay for one wedding, and she still needs to give her other brother a nice gift ( I would assume)
Im sorry Ido no think she is being selfish but is being honset with u do not let it ruin your friendship!

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Posted by grkbarbie

think of yourself as LUCKY that SHE dropped out and you didnt have to KICK her out in the end. trust me. if she stayed, a selfish person like that, will not do anything nice for you. She wouldve cause a lot of grief with the rest of the BP. youre better off.

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ITA

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

I wouldn't say anything to her. Obviously, she's selfish.

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It's HER money and she can choose it to spend it on whatever she wants. She is not selfish, she is honest. You can't tell someone what to spend their money on. You can't tell someone to stop spending money so they can be in your wedding.

I'm not going to say anything to her right now, and see how the next communication goes.

I think she is kind of selfish though, and while I can't tell her how she should spend her $$, she should've thought of that originally when I asked her. I had asked her if it was OK b/c of her two brothers' weddings. I mean, I put her up on the website and almost bought personalized bridesmaid gifts and everyone knows she was a part of it!!!

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

I wouldn't say anything to her. Obviously, she's selfish.

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It's HER money and she can choose it to spend it on whatever she wants. She is not selfish, she is honest. You can't tell someone what to spend their money on. You can't tell someone to stop spending money so they can be in your wedding.

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Thats right, and if she has the money do be out partying then she has the money to pay for the dress. How about be honest then and say hey I just don't feel like being a BM or better yet don't even state the reason why you can't be in it.

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Posted by grkbarbie

think of yourself as LUCKY that SHE dropped out and you didnt have to KICK her out in the end. trust me. if she stayed, a selfish person like that, will not do anything nice for you. She wouldve cause a lot of grief with the rest of the BP. youre better off.

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ita agree with barb!
trust me... there are a lot of brides on here, myself included, that are having BM issues...
i'm sorry you have to go through this, but just remember, everything happens for a reason.

the worst part is that I'm really upset and hurt about it.

I totally cried in the bathroom at work, and i NEVER cry!

I guess this is my first wedding meltdown!

ugh, i'm sorry to hear this.. i hope you feel better.

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

I wouldn't say anything to her. Obviously, she's selfish.

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It's HER money and she can choose it to spend it on whatever she wants. She is not selfish, she is honest. You can't tell someone what to spend their money on. You can't tell someone to stop spending money so they can be in your wedding.

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Thats right, and if she has the money do be out partying then she has the money to pay for the dress. How about be honest then and say hey I just don't feel like being a BM or better yet don't even state the reason why you can't be in it.

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I wouldn't jump to conclusions to say that she never wanted to be in the wedding. She probably said yes and meant it, but then reality hit her and she realized she didn't have the extra $. It's not for the bride to say if she has the $ to go out she has the $ to buy a dress. It's not our place.