A question for you guys. We are friends with a couple that lives out of town (in california) that we didn't expect to come to the wedding, so it wasn't an issue at the time. But we just heard from FH's mom that they are planning on coming (which is great of course)... however she is pregnant! Apparently they want to bring the baby with them. I'm not thrilled with the idea but on the other hand what else can they do? The rest of their family is also invited, so it's not like they have anyone to watch her.
My aunt is also due in June, I figured one baby wouldn't be bad but two... the other thing is since they will be infants its not like you can enjoy yourself at all, you'll be having to watch the baby all the time, right?
It's not a dealbreaker really, but I just want to know what others have done. Or are there any parents here who think differently? Thanks.
SoonToBeMrsCampos
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
Our best mans wife is due in the end of may. So by the time my wedding comes baby will be like 4mos. However, they live in florida, so were greatful to have them come at all and their 3yo daughter is one of my FGs. Plus were inviting the BMs MIL, so she will help with the baby and FG. Other than them and my 3yo goddaughter, 8yo niece, and 7yo cousin, NO KIDS!
So I think you'll just have to ignore them. I think that'll be easy to do! They're infants!
HTH
angelatp
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
I'm not trilled at all about have kids at the wedding, however, I'm do recognize that there are going to be some people who just do not have a choice. That is the people who normally watch their children are coming etc.
So yea I'm willing to deal with it, a few exceptions really isn't a such big deal for me. Especially with OOT.... JMO.
Caprica6
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
when my cousin got married, they had a baby sitter stay in the bridal suite with the kids so that their parents could enjoy the wedding. I don't know if this is something you are interested in, but it worked out really well for them!
DWKSwed
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
I am making an exception for parents of VERY small children who are traveling to the wedding. I would not expect someone with a child who's only a few months old to leave them with a stranger, including a babysitter I hire... I think it's okay for older kids but I wouldn't trust my baby with someone that another person picked out and I didn't know already. I lucked out and one of the two people with little babies has in-laws who live in the town the wedding is in.
MR1223
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
i really don't think weddings are an appropriate place for babies, especially weddings that are at night. also, i feel like if you make an exception for 1 guest, then other guest might feel slighted and it's not fair. i had an out of town guest who decided to rsvp for herself and her infant even though the invite was addressed to her and her her husband. i had to tell her we were having an adult only reception and i felt like it put me in an awkward situation... but i think she should have asked if it was ok to bring her baby before rsvping. turns out she's not coming anymore lol.
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
We are only having children who are in the bridal party. All other children over the age of 14 are invited. With the music from the DJ and the long evening its really too much for small children (personally). It does make it difficult since they are traveling. Its such a hard decision. I know for us we decided no children under the age 14. Ugh wish I could be more help!
MayBride2010
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
We are not having any children under the age of 15 at our wedding (and yeah, this has already caused major drama). My MOH is flying in from CA with her husband and 14 month old daughter for the wedding - and the baby is not invited to the wedding. My MOH realizes this and since she is originally from NY she has someone who can look after the baby... If you do have a bunch of OOT guests who do have small children, it would be nice to think about setting up a babysitter for them. We did not want to make exceptions, because what is good for one family must also be good for another - so therefore we have put our foot down with no exceptions whatsoever (dont mean to sound harsh - this has caused a lot of tears and drama within the past 2 weeks for FH, our parents and I)
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
I am allowing my BP to bring babies especially since it may be hard for them to get a sitter.
NewYorker09
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
At a friend's wedding a few years ago they had OOT guests with a 3 month old baby. The solution was to hire a sitter to watch the baby AT the RH (wedding was at Carlyle on the Green) but in a separate lounge room away from the party. It worked out perfect for them, the parents were able to quickly sneak away anytime they wanted to check on the baby, feed her, etc without a fussy baby disrupting the adult party. Just a suggestion, obviously the parents would need to feel comfortable and you'd need to find a responsible sitter, but it worked great at my friend's wedding!
GracieJMay2010
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
Posted by Caprica6
when my cousin got married, they had a baby sitter stay in the bridal suite with the kids so that their parents could enjoy the wedding. I don't know if this is something you are interested in, but it worked out really well for them!
Im doing similar. I have a room set aside with a babysitter so mom and dad can enjoy the wedding. Babies will be there for nursing, etc, but wont be at the wedding.
AngnShaun
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
i have no problem with kids at weddings... the only reason we have a cut off age of 13 is because the parents said they didnt want to bring the kids... (except for my nieces and nephews below 13 there will be no kids)...
it would have been an extra 25 people if we included kids... and not for nothing but they arent going to eat enough food to cover their plates... ya know...
but i loved going to weddings when i was a kid... so i do feel bad that they wont be there...
leesah85
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
You should definitely make an exception for them. They are travelling a long way for your wedding and you should just leave it up to them what they want to do with their child.
My cousin had this problem with his BEST FRIEND (who lives in Michigan) and his best friend was travelling to NY to come to the wedding with his wife. Wife got pregnant, had a baby and baby was about 6 months old around the time of the wedding. My cousin was soooooo adament about not having children that they actually called them and told them they absolutely could not come with the child. Worst part was that they had invited the best friend's parents too (b/c they'd been friends for so many years). What wound up happening? Best friend's parents came to the wedding, and his best friend/wife/child did not. They don't talk at all anymore. Talk about a 30 year friendship gone down the tubes for a stupid reason (JIMHO).
Moonmist09
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
why are people under the mistaken impression that because you bring your child to a wedding that you will not have any fun? i don't have children, but all my nieces and nephews - when we go out, to a party/event - i have a ton of fun withthem, and so do their parents. they don't feel restricted just because your kid is there.
having 2 children at the wedding will not cause havoc. we are going to have way more than 2 kids at the wedding and we're not even worried about it...
FutureMrsDe
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
I think you cant say one infant is invited but the other isnt. if there was no other baby you could have just said no children. I would tell my Matriedee if the baby is screaming to go over to the parents and ask them to step out side!
Soon2BRomeo
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
As a parent I can tell you when your baby is only a few months old it is very hard to leave them with someone. I understand that is is an adults only recpetion and all but I would bring up the babysitter idea. If they are not comfortable with it I would just let it slide. You don;t have to pay for them and they are just there at that age. And if your lucky and they were anything like my kid they will sleep through all the noise. Good luck I hope this helped.
Edit- I want to clarify, I am not one of those parents who think that there kid is special and should be in places that are not appropriate. I just think that sometimes things are out of our control and that there sometimes needs to be exceptions to the rule. Your friends want to be there to support you and celebrate your new life together with your FH. Don't discourage it b/c they have to bring the baby b/c there is no one to watch him or her.
halfbaked
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
I've invited everyone with their babies as a courtesy. So far, all have opted to come without their children.
justnicethings
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
unless your wedding is less than 50 people, i doubt you will even notice the baby. there will be music and dancing, the baby and any annoyances will be overpowered by all that.
nenabee
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments. Maybe i'm worrying about nothing, but at my uncle's wedding there was a baby wailing through half the ceremony (not to mention the flower girls and ring bearers who were brats) that it left a bad taste in my mouth. Hopefully the babies will sleep and it won't be a big deal. We'll probably talk with our friends and fam before then so they know what to do if a baby starts up lol.
I understand now that it's hard to leave your kid with strangers when they're so young! Didn't think about that.... I guess we'll have to talk with the parents. Maybe it would be good to offer a sitter, but in a no-pressure way.
Thanks everyone :)
Cookie De La Devine
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Re: Babies at the wedding?
The only children invited will be out of towners adds up to 2 maybe 3. Two are 12 (taller than me) and one might be a FG and is 6.One is a cousin, one a godchild and my god childs sister. If your gonna have small children or have to have them there set aside a space for them- Some Weddings are loud and potentially dangerous (drunk people dancing)
