Baby at church

Hi all...another semi- rant poll lol. Sorry.

One thing I was very adament (spelling??? lol) about with this wedding was that I did not want children to be there. For those of you that disagree I am sorry, but that is just something that FH and I agreed on. This being said, no one was invited as 'and family'

First I'll give you a little background to our wedding day. Church is at 2, reception is a half hour away and is at 6. One person has a daughter who is going through her terrible two's says that she doesnt want to leave her daughter with a babysitter for that long bc she is going through seperation anxiety. It was suggested to her that she just bring the toddler to the church and then have her get a babysitter.

I personally have a huge problem with this bc all along I said I did not want children to be around and I do not want them crying during mine and my FH's big day. Do I have the right to kind of tell them to please not bring the baby to the church and if she can not stay with the babysitterfor the entire day that maybe they should skip the church and just attend the reception???

I am not trying to be a bridezilla here, I really am not, but this is just one thing that I did not want on my wedding day. Am I out of line? If i get responses that I am out of line then I will keep my feelings to myself and just hope that the baby behaves. If not then I think I might suggest that they stay home.



PS: If the baby starts crying, they can not just take them out of the room bc it is surrounded by all glass doors and even when you leave the church you can still here crying babies. I know this bc I have seen it happen while I have attended mass there.

To be honest, if it is a church you are having the ceremony, You can't say who they can or cannot bring. The church is open to anyone, even if regular congregation wants to come by. You will be making more grief for yourself than it is worth.

Trust me, let it all go. The fight will not be worth it. I threw my hands up on a few things with the wedding because in the end people will do what they want & you do not need to stress it all.

i had so 5 babies at my church ceremony.
didnt matter to me.
the more the merrier :)

and if i had a baby and someone told me 'not to come to the ceremony' i'd say ok - i wont come to the reception either.
jmo

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Posted by Celest

To be honest, if it is a church you are having the ceremony, You can't say who they can or cannot bring. The church is open to anyone, even if regular congregation wants to come by. You will be making more grief for yourself than it is worth.

Trust me, let it all go. The fight will not be worth it. I threw my hands up on a few things with the wedding because in the end people will do what they want & you do not need to stress it all.

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bingo

I posted a similar question a few days ago ('How do you uninivite a baby?' - feel free to do a search for it if you want!!!!!! Sorry I don't know how to bump a post!!!) and long story short, I didn't want my girlfriend to bring her baby to the wedding. The advice I rec'd from the wonderful brides here was very honest and gave me a different perspective...basically it is very hard to tell someone not to bring their baby to the church. You run the risk of hurting some feelings and having possibly a damaged relationship with the mother/father over it and creating stress you don't need...imagine if you had a baby and were told not to bring him/her to a church....it s*x but perhaps you could hire a sitter to babysit during the ceremony in another part of the church?
We are having our ceremony at our RH and we are having the maitre'd or BA designate the last row of seats for those w/infants so that it is easier for them to get up if/when the infant starts to cry. I am nervous about this too but I'm trying to make the best of it.

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Posted by sophisticat13

I posted a similar question a few days ago ('How do you uninivite a baby?' - feel free to do a search for it if you want!!!!!! Sorry I don't know how to bump a post!!!) and long story short, I didn't want my girlfriend to bring her baby to the wedding. The advice I rec'd from the wonderful brides here was very honest and gave me a different perspective...basically it is very hard to tell someone not to bring their baby to the church. You run the risk of hurting some feelings and having possibly a damaged relationship with the mother/father over it and creating stress you don't need...imagine if you had a baby and were told not to bring him/her to a church....it s*x but perhaps you could hire a sitter to babysit during the ceremony in another part of the church?
We are having our ceremony at our RH and we are having the maitre'd or BA designate the last row of seats for those w/infants so that it is easier for them to get up if/when the infant starts to cry. I am nervous about this too but I'm trying to make the best of it.

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thank you for all of your honest opinions...i really do appreciate it...i guess i just went through a lot the past few days and had a lot of people start doing things that i did not want at my wedding...to be honest, and this is going to sound mean, but i do not want the people with the baby to even be there.... we are not close with them and i dont feel as though they should have been invited to the wedding...they got married 2 years ago and we were not invited to the wedding, which i was fine with, but therefore, why did i have to invite them??? (i was FORCED to invite them) so i guess that is kind of where i am coming from with not wanting the baby there either...the crying (she cries a real lot) is just the icing on the cake i guess

I personally wouldnt mind a baby at the church...I am a baby person though not everyone is

But in your last post you said that you dont care if the people came to your wedding and were forced to invite them...if you dont care about straining your relationship and you really dont want the baby there ...then tell them so....if it is more important to you then them what do you have to lose? (Im not trying to sound mean or anything but you kind of conveyed that you dont care about these people so....you have nothing invested in offending them)

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Posted by JodyLC

Personally, I am not a baby person either.... However I did invite guests & family... Alot of my guests are traveling from out of town and they are having travel costs. Let alone a babysitter, some of them are staying over night, some for the entire weekend.... I did not feel right saying'Oh you can come to my wedding but your kids can't' it just seemed rude to me... So I did am doing a children's table... As far as the ceremony... if they cry the videographer can edit it..... Sorry if this sounds harsh...JMO

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i think my post might have came off wrong....i actually love babies and children soooo much. However, i just do not feel that they have a place at weddings. I grew up in a family where children did not attend weddings. Weddings were for adults. I have also been at weddings where a baby has cried or refused to walk down the aisle, and after the wedding that is what people talked about. I guess I am just in the minority here with my opinoin, but i do thank you all for your opinions.

I understand where you're coming with this and I too didnt want babies at my wedding. We didnt invite anyone under the age of 17 -- IMO weddings arent for children, they're for adults.
We didnt have any kids other than the ringbearer at the ceremony...so we didnt have to deal with this problem.

I disagree with previous posters (although I see their points). I believe you can call her and politely explain to her that although you understand her anxiety about leaving her daughter with a babysitter, you and your fiance have a strict 'no children' policy at the wedding (and your wedding includes the ceremony). Apologize for the situation, but explain that if you make an exception for her, you'll have a lot of explaining to do to all the other parents who wanted to bring their children as well.