Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

d&D Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:09 PM

Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

What should I do? My cousin had a baby last year, she is about 9 mths old. My cousin was invited to the wedding w/ his girlfriend and they responded w/ the two of them plus the baby!! The only other child invited to my wedding is my 3 yr old neice who is the flower girl.....my other little neice who is almost a year isn't even coming. I don't know what to do....on the one hand she is a baby so we are not paying for an extra plate but on the other hand it may insult others who had to find babysitters. Mind you, my fiancee doesn't think I should do anything b/c he thinks it will cause problems that we don't need so close to the wedding.......HELP!

TIA

MissingTheBGene Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:11 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

I would call them and nicely say that you will not be having children at the reception with exception of your flower girl. You cannot let them bring a child if you told others they can't bring their own. This happens often, it's not the best situation but you need to stand your ground. Offer to help find a babysitter if they need.

Good luck!

MrsFudge Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:16 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

I agree, you need to let them know that there are no other children invited and it isn't fair to the other guests who are not bringing their children.

Marcie Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:22 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would call them and nicely say that you will not be having children at the reception with exception of your flower girl. You cannot let them bring a child if you told others they can't bring their own. This happens often, it's not the best situation but you need to stand your ground. Offer to help find a babysitter if they need.

Good luck!

This is exactly what I was going to say

mendara Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:29 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

other parents will be upset if they see baby there and they couldn't bring their children

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:44 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

UGH! I had the EXACT same situation come up a few weeks ago!!!!!

I’m not going to bore you with all the details, but this baby belongs to FH’s cousin who he is very close with. His cousin is also a GM, and is flying in from CA.

We offered them several options including a responsible babysitter and my last offer (and there will be no more offers) was for the babysitter to watch the baby in MY bridal suite. IMO, that was a VERY generous offer! The mother said she would think about it.

If she doesn’t like that last offer, the heck with her. I don’t know many brides who would offer to share their bridal suite with a 4 month old screaming baby and a babysitter.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:45 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

DAVALJO2 Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:53 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

i dealt with the same issue. i had to invite some children because the parents can't find babysitters.

jimmysgrl Posted: Sep 09, 2005 12:59 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

Posted by Marcie

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would call them and nicely say that you will not be having children at the reception with exception of your flower girl. You cannot let them bring a child if you told others they can't bring their own. This happens often, it's not the best situation but you need to stand your ground. Offer to help find a babysitter if they need.

Good luck!

Me too. Its such a hard situation.....anyway you could e-mail them instead. Sometimes if you write it out, it gives the couple a chance to discuss it and then e-mail back their response. I'm a coward and that's how I would want someone to tell me
This is exactly what I was going to say Good luck!

boobobunny Posted: Sep 09, 2005 01:00 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

the rule I set was only children in the bridal party are invited to the wedding....and I held my ground.

My sister's in laws offered to watch my nephew (their grandson) and my son....they came to my house early to watch the kids during photos and stayed at the reception with the kids until after dinner....plus I brought a play pen and toys to be set up in the bridal suite.

I did receive a few comments about other children not being invited....but it was our wedding....and the same people complaining did not have children at their wedding.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Sep 09, 2005 01:01 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

Have someone else call them if you don't want to deal with the confrontation. Mom or someone else...

I agree with the above posts. It's not right to bring a baby (especially at that age) to a wedding where the only other child is a flowergirl. Other parents will be upset.

nicpizzo Posted: Sep 09, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would call them and nicely say that you will not be having children at the reception with exception of your flower girl. You cannot let them bring a child if you told others they can't bring their own. This happens often, it's not the best situation but you need to stand your ground. Offer to help find a babysitter if they need.

Good luck!

Couldn't have said it any better.

WedHead Posted: Sep 09, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

If you don't want the baby their, def. say something. But, if you really don't care, or don't want to say anything, if anyone complains to you or you overhear complaints they brought their baby, I would just say, 'I can't help that, the baby was not invited'.

October Bliss Posted: Sep 09, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

I would call right away and explain that baby was not invited. Perhaps they didn't understand that because the invite didn't say 'and family' it meant children were excluded.

Then I would stand my ground when they say they cannot attend without child by telling them they will be missed and you're sorry they can't find a babysitter.

We have decided no kids under 10 (not that cost is the factor, since at that age meals are reduced), but because I don't want small children at an affair that won't end until midnight. I wanted no kids at all, but he is too close to his nephews to exclude them just because they are kids.

jeanla4c Posted: Sep 09, 2005 04:14 PM

Re: Baby at wedding dilemma....PLease Help!!

Posted by Marcie

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would call them and nicely say that you will not be having children at the reception with exception of your flower girl. You cannot let them bring a child if you told others they can't bring their own. This happens often, it's not the best situation but you need to stand your ground. Offer to help find a babysitter if they need.

Good luck!

This is exactly what I was going to say

Me too. Sort of Similar type thing happened with us, unfortunately in the end the mom stayed home with the baby and the husband (a GM) came alone. You can't please everyone.