Well, my dad passed 3 years ago, I am his only child and he raised me so we were very very close. My DH and I are jewish, so we name children after deceased relatives. So in the last year or 2 we picked out the names for what our son and daughter would be. We arent planning on starting our family for a year or two but when my dad died we couldn't help but think about how we would use the name.
Anyway my cousin's wife is pregnant and they want to use the name we picked out if we have a boy. My cousin was close with my dad but still....he knows I want to use the name but doesn't really care. I know its premature for DH and I to be thinking about this but I just feel my cousin should respect my feelings. I told him I am using the name too even though it goes against tradition...
Am I wrong...I just want to cry everytime I think about it?
kpny622
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Personally, I'd be very upset by this since it was YOUR dad and not your cousin's. But I guess you can't stop them from naming their child since they are having it first. Is it against the Jewish religion to have you name your boy the same name?
IrishTracy
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
If it was me I would still use the name when the time comes.
tracyg
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
if he can't respect your wishes then i would still name your son after your dad!! screw tradition... he was YOUR father!!! (JMO)
bm2013
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I think that you have a right to be a little upset...but at the same time, think of how wonderful it is to have TWO new lives named in honor of your father! I am sure he would be so proud to know that many of his loved ones are wanting to show such an act of love.
If it really bothers you, have you sat down and voiced your opinions to your cousin? It may help...
shelly3950
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
I am also Jewish and I also lost my dad. First off- your cousin is SO out of line. He can use the same first letter, but doesn't need to use the same name. That is wrong.
However, if they go ahead and use the same name, then I don't think there is anything wrong with you using the name too. You are naming the chidl after your father, and not your cousin's child. In many families there are several names that are duplicated because they are named after the same person.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
i agree that your cousin is out of line but i also think that since you wont be having the same last names i think you should use the same name. i think that you shouldnt let someone else spoil your tribute to your father
Kriss2c
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Posted by tracyg
if he can't respect your wishes then i would still name your son after your dad!! screw tradition... he was YOUR father!!! (JMO)
I'm of that opinion too.
StepherG
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Are you using your dad's name or a name that starts with the first letter of your dad's name? Does this make sense??
HearzBellz
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2003fallwedding
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Posted by Kriss2c
Posted by tracyg
if he can't respect your wishes then i would still name your son after your dad!! screw tradition... he was YOUR father!!! (JMO)
I'm of that opinion too.
me three!!
dm24angel
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
I too would be very very upset, I would say to him that you would like to honor YOUR day by using his name and will be very hurt if he takes that chance away from you...then also make him aware you will use it anyway...in the end they will not want you to use the same name and may realize it is more inportant to you!
Wow...I feel that is very insensitive and hurtful thing to do...
Jenn524
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
I think you have a right to be upset but think about it this way, what if you never have a boy and you can't name your son after your dad? At least your cousin will be able to honor your dad. If you were pregnant now and you knew you were having a boy I would say you have every right to be upset. I hate to be negative about this but for one you don't know that you are going to be able to get pregnant one day. Two you can't guarantee that you are going to have a boy.
Just something for you to think about...
Elizabeth
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
I also find that insensitive of your cousin. How selfish it sounds considering it was your Dad. Im sorry.
I would go ahead and name your future child the name when the time comes. If it makes you feel any better, I have 3 nephews named Jack (one is on my side but 2 on my DHs side are named after Dh's Dad) and it all worked out fine - and 2 of them are first cousins. Your child and your cousins wont be.
tonia1001
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I would be upset!!!! Idon't blame you for feeling sad about it....I think you should talk to your cousin about your feelings and hopefully he will understand where you are coming from...
AtticaQT
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
i would still use the name. My grandfather had three sons. Each of his sons named their first son after him. My cousin has the same as me also.
ETA: I'm confused - why would you using the name also be against tradition - could you please explain that for me?
Boop2704
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
I know exactly how you feel. My brother died and I planned to name my first born child after him. But my cousin, accidentally became pregnant and decided to just go along and name her child after my brother. I was very hurt by it. I know I don't own the name, but I thought it was a little rude to take my brothers name without so much as a mention of it to the family. She is a real drama queen and attention seeker and claimed she was close to my brother and that is why she did it. But we know that it was done just to get the rest of the family to say, Aww, that is so special of you to name it after him, which is what everyone did. I still plan to go ahead with what I was going to name my child, but it really did hurt when she did this. I kinda felt as though she should have asked first. She knows I wanted to name my first born after my brother. He was my brother and I just feel it was so wrong of her to do. I think you should still name your child what you want. Because when your child grows up they will be honored to have their name and learn the history behind it. Your cousins child will not have that same history and honor because it was not their grandfathers name.
matron
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Definitely name your son after your father. I think it's so wrong of your cousin to name his son after your dad knowing full well that you intend to do the same. Screw tradition ... follow your heart.
Chloegirl
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Re: Baby Name problem....(LONG sorry)
Thank you all for you support. You really have made me feel much better about the situation and what ever happens, if my DH and I are blessed with a boy we will use the name we chose.
Posted by StepherG
Are you using your dad's name or a name that starts with the first letter of your dad's name? Does this make sense??
Actually, we are not using his name. He used to tell me how he HATED his name...it is Allan. People would call him Al and he hated that even more. I know my dad would not want his grandchild to have that name he always hated...so we would name our son Aidan.
My cousin chose the name for the same reason...knew my dad hated his name and loved Aidan.
