Why is it that what used to be 1 night of guys going out, getting completely drunk and going into a local strip club has now turned into 3 day weekends to Vegas, Montreal, Costa Rica - pretty much anywhere far away? ***?
I had a HUGE fight with my FH about this bc his BF is getting married in 6 weeks and he is the BM so his friend, of course, wanted to go to Montreal for a 3 day weekend. And being the best man, he made it happen. Even against my wishes. Needless to say we have been on edge since the second his plane left to him coming home this Sunday.
For some reason I just can't get over it. The thought of what goes on over there makes me want to vomit continuously and I don't even want to look at FH while these thoughts are flying around my head. It will be very bad if I speak as I think about this.
Any help with getting me to let go? I'm pissed constantly. He's home 3 days already and I'm still as annoyed as I was the minute he told me these were their plans.
P.S. When doing his laundry from his trip there was stripper make up all over his collar on 2 shirts. ON HIS COLLAR! A little to close for comfort. I'm flipping out. FLIPPING OUT
Help!!!!
Corinne Ann
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Re: Bachelor Parties
BREATH.....LOL... its ok... think of it this way - FH came home to you! Plus I dont think he'd actually go to far with a stripper... from what FH (& my brother) has told me they really think strippers are gross and dont get too close cause they are afraid of getting stuff.... makeup on the collar not so bad, she was prob dancing on him... nothing major!
sooooo dont fret it!!! stop thinking about it!!!! Its over.... then when you cool off have a real heart to heart with FH and discuss whats bothering you about it! Be honest!
dCa51899
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Re: Bachelor Parties
Posted by Corinne Ann
BREATH.....LOL... its ok... think of it this way - FH came home to you! Plus I dont think he'd actually go to far with a stripper... from what FH (& my brother) has told me they really think strippers are gross and dont get too close cause they are afraid of getting stuff.... makeup on the collar not so bad, she was prob dancing on him... nothing major!
sooooo dont fret it!!! stop thinking about it!!!! Its over.... then when you cool off have a real heart to heart with FH and discuss whats bothering you about it! Be honest!
my FH says the same thing! He thinks they're so nasty and can't believe how they degrade themselves and he thinks they're pathetic! I'm sure he will prob go to one for his bach party even tho he thinks this way just bc that's what is traditionally thought of as a bach party. Your FH was just trying to make his friend happy and do what his friend wanted to do. Honestly, don't get upset. I know its hard not to, but like Corinne said, he came home to you and that's what matters. Now if you found make up on his shirt and you didn't know anything about him going to a bach party, THAT would be a problem!
DMLHeartsCRM
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Re: Bachelor Parties
Ok first step, I know this is the last thing you wanna hear is calm down and relax, but you have to stop and breathe at least.. This way you dont wind up hyperventilating and then we'll have a serious trouble.
Ok second step: Think rationally about this, you knew about it before hand so there was no dishonesty involved. This being his friend's Bachelor party he did what his friend wanted to do, doesnt mean he did anything out of line while he was away. BE THANKFUL! My oldest sister's husband was taken to Amsterdam for his party!!! So it could be a thousand times worse!
ALSO Strippers wear a lotta make up so getting on the collar not as big a deal as finding it on his jeans....then i'd be worried. But there wasn't so it's ok.
I know you're upset but you have to stop and breathe, he wanted to give his friend a good time. I'm sure he didnt want to hurt you. And everyone's right he did come home to you, and thats what's most important.
I'm coping with the fh hanging out with his ex girlfriend...not liking any thought of the idea. In fact I hate it quite a bit and i found out chewing his head off about it...very bad idea. :(
If you wanna vent some more please feel free to messageme.
PhyllisNJoe
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Re: Bachelor Parties
Thanks everyone.
I've calmed down a little since I posted this today. I had time to think it over and while I still think he was wrong for getting a 'Lap Dance(s)', I have to think before I act.
We talked about it and he didn't know I felt THAT strongly about this. Even though we talked about it before he went, but that's besides the point. This time is going to be his 'Mistake'. Now he KNOWS how I feel about it for the next time he is in the situation. I don't care if all of his friends gets lap dances, as long as he doesn't. They can call him whipped, say I have his nuts in a jar on my dresser, I don't care. He has to respect me as I respect him. I don't think he would enjoy knowing some man was grinding his junk on me and rubbing his body all over me. As far as I'm concerned - there is No reason to have any sexual contact with anyone other than each other. Bachelor party is no excuse. Wanna go to a strip club because that's when men do, fine. Throw some dollars, look at the girls, just don't let them touch you and we're good.
We'll see what the future brings. We have a lot more weddings coming up which means a lot more bachelor parties. Gonna cross my fingers
ok so that was my last vent about this! Thanks again girls
AngnShaun
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Re: Bachelor Parties
thats how it is for bachelorette parties too....
everything is a full out vacation now
sandybeaches115
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Re: Bachelor Parties
Just wanted to say, that i'm glad you are better and have calmed down a bit. I definitely understand where you are coming from. I trust FH completely and he also doesn't even like strippers but I'm a pretty jealous person and would hate it if he got a lap dance at a bachelor party. I mean i know it's kinda what guys do at these things but I definitely can sympathize w/ ur feelings on this. I actually went to undergrad in montreal and saw loads of bachelor parties...kinda stupid and gross some of them.. but the best thing is that you talked with your FH and now he knows how you feel...good to get those feelings out in the open.. he can def compromise...he'll still have these parties to go to i'm sure, but just no more lipsticks on collars! hope all is well!