bachelor party frustration!

At first I was worried that FH's friends wouldn't do right by him cause they are not really the responsible sort, if you know what I mean.

But, they surprised me by not only pulling things together, but actually asking FH for lists of people he wants there, things that he does want and things he does not want at the bachelor party, with the assurance that they will abide by his wishes. This was both way cool and unexpected.

So, here is the -somewhat unusual - problem:

FH will not decide, and I am furious. I am fine with him wanting strippers and stuff like that. BUT I want him to take responsibility for his desire and actions! What HE wants is for them to surprise him with whatever, that way he doesn't have to say that he wanted it, or take responsibility for the presence of that whatever being there, and his engaging in activities related.

I think this is a MAJOR cop out! And I am totally pissed - much more than if he actually came out and said 'I want two naked girls to make me into a bachelor sandwich.'

Am I being unreasonable here?

To be honest, I don't see why it's upsetting you that he won't decide. Is it because you won't know ahead of time what is going to take place? If his friends dont mind doing all the work and surprising him, it shouldn't bother you.
(If you're concerened with not knowing what is going on, I would probably be too)!

---

Posted by keohime
I think this is a MAJOR cop out! And I am totally pissed - much more than if he actually came out and said 'I want two naked girls to make me into a bachelor sandwich.'

Am I being unreasonable here?

---

i think if he isn't going to set the 'ground rules' then perhaps you should? start coming up with scenarios and find out what he finds 'acceptable'. joke about it a bit and perhaps you'll get a sense of what he thinks is okay and not okay.

my FH had his bachelor dinner and his BM was in charge of arranging it. had it been someone else i would have not felt comfortable sending him off to 'whatever/surprises' and he wouldn't have done that as well...

I am going through almost the same thing right now. But I figure as long as nothing goes over the line!!!!! I will keep my mouth shut and try not to get too P.O.'d about it.

Also, when we first decided to have separate parties we agreed NO STRIPPERS, so I told my MOH this and made other plans. Well FI forgot until a week ago to tell BM and he is like there is nothing I can do now. But the funny thing is his BM isn't having any strippers at the bachelor party. So I heard from the grapevine because BM's wife would be furious!! But that's between me and the wall and I am not letting FI know!