Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

divabride Posted: Feb 04, 2005 10:37 AM

Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

My sister (Matron of Honor) is flying here in July for my shower and october for the wedding. Since she is planning my bachelorette party, she wants to do it the week before the wedding. Im not comfortable with this since I dont want to feel too overwhelmed. I suggested the weekend of the bridal shower, but she doesnt like this idea. Her reasoning is that everyone is going to be broke from the shower. I figured everyone would be broke before the wedding too. In all honestly, what should I do? I dont want to use the 'Im the bride and its my way' excuse either. I want to keep everyone's interests in mind. Thanks guys!

IrishBride-05 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 10:52 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I may have the same dilemma and personally, I would do the weekend before the wedding. It might be a really good time to let loose and let off steam in the final dash

David'sbride Posted: Feb 04, 2005 10:55 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

What type of bachelorette party do you want to have?

Something calm like a spa day or painting the town red? I would say that the crazier the plans the more I would want to do it on the shower weekend. the more low-key and relaxing the more likely I'd want to do it before the wedding.

divabride Posted: Feb 04, 2005 10:57 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Heading into the city for dinner and drinks. Im leaning towards Dip Cafe.

germai68 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 10:59 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I have the same dilemma. Both myself, my MOH and two of my bridesmaids live in North Carolina and we are getting married in NY. To save trips back and forth we are having the shower on a Saturday afternoon and the bachelorette Party that night. But I asked that for the party we just go to all of my old stomping grounds in NYC, so it is not going to cost them much money, just my alchohol for the night, and maybe a couple of cabs!!!

Summer05 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:03 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Maybe you could ask the rest of your bridal party what would be best for them

SUNSHINE24 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:07 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Do what you think you would be most comfortable doing.
I have been trying to please my bridesmaids and keep them happy, and to have each one of them involved in all pre-wedding planning; and it is to difficult to do. let them worry about it, thats one of the only things that you dont HAVE to plan, so relax and let them take care of it.
Good luck!

bluesashbride Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:07 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

i'd let whoever is paying for it decide...my girls are doing the night of my bridalshower and a lot of the non-BP girls who are going to party and shower are helping with the costs.

katieshope Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:27 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I am doing my bachelorette party and shower the same weekend. Its easier for me and my out of town bridesmaids. I don't want to have them or anyone else make more trips then necessary to LI

Dama88 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:48 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Remember your sister has nothing but your good intentions in mind. Even though it is your bachelorette party, it is a chance for everyone, especially bridesmaids to let loose. IMO having it in July won't be viewed as the icing on the cake because you will still have work to do. If you have it in October, hopefully all the and the and the and the will be done and out of the way so that last week you can enjoy all the and the and the for the big . Hope this helped.

jimmysgrl Posted: Feb 04, 2005 11:56 AM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Maybe you could have her ask the other bm to see which they would prefer in regards to $ and time?

LuvMyMichael Posted: Feb 04, 2005 12:43 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I think you should probably do it the weekend before as well. It'll be a great way to wind down before the big day.

Dooodles Posted: Feb 04, 2005 01:38 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I think it is a great idea to do it the week before the wedding, but if you think you are going to feel overwhelmed, then you need to do it when you are most comfortable. How about asking the girls if they will be strapped the weekend of the shower or maybe they need a good night out!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 01:40 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

We arent having our joint bacholor/ette party until the week before our wedding. and I am SOOOO looking forward to it!!!! With all the stress and last min. stuff its something fun and relaxing to look forward to! I also think its gunna pump me ( and the bp) up even more for the wedding!
so I voted for the weekend before the wedding

halfpintny Posted: Feb 04, 2005 01:45 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I would just take a step back and remember that while we're brides and we do kinda want it our way...our BP is spending oodles of money and we should be a little flexible when they're planning a fun event for us. I would go the week before the wedding if it works the best for everyone. That's kinda when I want mine too....let off some steam and stress and just party!

12-3Princess Posted: Feb 04, 2005 01:45 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

I would say the week before the wedding if she's the one planning it and paying for it. I read in one of the etiquette books that whoever pays for the bachelorette party should decide when, where, and how. The bride isn't really supposed to make any decisions unless she's paying...

However, if you REALLY don't want it that weekend maybe you could offer to buy her plane ticket in on another weekend? Just a suggestion.

eogara Posted: Feb 04, 2005 02:01 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

Did your sister decide it would be too much of an imposition on the BP to do it the shower weekend or she assumed that? I'd put it to the BP for debate and let them decide. Mine was Friday, Jan 14th and my shower was Sun, Jan 16th. It was an expensive weekend but most of the stuff for the shower and somtimes even the bachelorette is paid for in advance. IMO I would definitely not want it the week before the wedding.

hmm8191 Posted: Feb 04, 2005 02:06 PM

Re: Bachelorette Party Dilemma: Poll

trust me being 2 weeks away from my shower I wouldn't want it to be next weekend. I wouldn't want it to be this weekend!! You're going to have SO much going on. Plus you're not going to want to be boozing since it affects your skin and god forbid you're trying to watch your weight.

Then there is also the rehersal dinner question. My FMIL insisted that it be the weekend before the wedding.

I see we're tied here but I really feel strongly that you're going to freak if you have it right before the wedding.