Bad Jokes

Okay, for some reason I felt like starting a bad joke thread.

Here's my first entry...

A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named 'Ahmal' The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, 'They're twins for Pete's sake!!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!!'

Come on. No one has any really bad jokes?

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him.... what? (This is so bad) --a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I've heard those....and maybe it's the teacher in me....but they crack me up!

i love this one....just heard it yesterday:

Two strings walk into a bar. The first string tries to order something.
'I don't serve strings in this bar,' the bartender says roughly and
throws him out.

The second string ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in,
and orders. 'Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?' the
bartender says.

'Yeah,' the string says.

'Aren't you a string?' the bartender says.

'I'm a frayed knot,' the string replies.

This is really bad:

This guy got a job as a bus driver for a special needs school. As he was shown to his bus, he found it strange that it had pictures of Big Bird, Burt and Ernie and Elmo on it. At his first stop two rather large young girls got on the bus. He said What are your names? One girl said I’m Patty, and the other girl said I’m Patty. Bus driver said Okay, have a seat, and proceeded to the next stop. There a sad little boy got on the bus. The driver said what’s your name? And the boy said my name’s Ross, but most people call me Special Ross. The driver said Okay, Special Ross, welcome aboard. As the next little boy got on, he let out a huge sneeze. Bless you, said the bus driver, what is your name? Larry, the little boy said with a sniffle. He then sat down in the front seat right behind the bus driver and took off his shoes and socks and began picking at his toes.

The next day the driver made his way to the bus company to turn in his resignation. Why, asked the dispatcher, you’ve only been with us one day.

Well, the bus driver said, it got to be a little much. I’m not sure I’m cut out to drive Two Obese Pattys, Special Ross, Larry Sneeze picking bunyons on a Sesame Street Bus….

How about this one:

Why does Snoop Dog carry around an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle

how can you find ronald mcdonald on a nude beach??

he's the one with the sesame seed buns

Lock Your Doors


Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home! A Long Island man was recently found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt. Police suspect a cereal killer.

How about this

Mr. and Mrs. Wong get pregnant with their first child

When Mrs. Wong has the baby, instead of a Chinese baby, she has a white American babcy.

This strikes everyone as odd because..

Two Wongs don't make a White

This is really bad

Two boll weevils grew up in S Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils.

---

Posted by LIWeddings NYCityWeddings

This is really bad

Two boll weevils grew up in S Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils.

---

I'm a little concerned that my Dad is actually running LIW... 'cuz these are soooo cheesy!!! and I swear he's told me every one of them!!

This is my absolute favorte joke, it cracks me up.

A mushroom walks into a bar in NYC and goes and orders a beer. The bartenders says 'I can't serve you, you're a mushroom.' The mushroon looks at him and says, 'Ay oh, I'm a funghi!'

Here's one-
What does Winnie the Pooh call his grandmother?

Pooh nanny