Bands and tipping

I am kind of confused about the tipping situation. Some people have told me that I do not tip the band because you already paid their fee and some say they do tip the band but you don't have to. Which is correct? Is it looked down upon if you don't tip? I know you have to feed them.

They also said all you have to tip is the Maitre D. Not your photographer or anyone else you paid a fee to. Is this correct - to me it sounds weird.

Generally, you don't tip anyone that you have already paid a service charge or gratuity, or anyone that is the proprietor of a business, i.e., the photographer, videographer, if that is the case unless any of those people provides exceptional service on your wedding day.
We tipped our officiant, the band, the limo driver that took us to our hotel at the end of the night, and the maitre'd. I didn't think of it at the time, but I also should have tipped our bridal attendant at the ceception hall - she was fantastic.

Originally we had planned on tipping everyone but now that we have no money left it is very frustrating to have to come up with this extra money to give to these people which we payed extremely high prices to begin with. I am having a 5-piece band, and If I want to be cheap and give them $25 a piece -- thats an additional $125....$50 each would be $250!

Then with everyone else! Im looking at well over $1k additional. Its ridiculous and FI wont have it.

We're paying for our own wedding and we're on a limited budget so I know where everyone's coming from. I have a different take on this though.

Everyone of the vendors out there demands high prices, I know, and we're having a hard time covering costs. But, keep in mind that that great sax player only gets a portion of what you're paying, most of it goes to someone else. We could also have forgone the expensive hair stylist or some other thing in order to be able to cover the gratuity expense, we know it's there.

Plus, most of these people only book a few jobs at a time and put plenty of hours in consulting with you, prepping for your party, practicing, training, travelling, paying all those small business associated fees including membership dues, and corresponding. They have ad fees, insurance fees, equipment fees, attire to to pay for. And, they can demand high prices because they are good (don't tip if they aren't of course).

Considering the costs we're willing to invest, it seems only right to me to tip generously. When these guys see the filet mignon on the plates and the $$$ on everything else, I'm sure they won't feel that you can't afford it.

I'd rather end this special day getting a smile and a congratulations from my vendors, rather than the cold shoulder (which I would expect if I didn't tip them, and in my opinion I'd deserve it).

So, if you don't tip them you leave your vendors feeling frustrated at the end of the night.

KEEP IN MIND that some of these vendors (esp. your photographer) you will be in contact with in the future and you will be relying on their service...Others you may want to use again, and want good service again as well.

One thing I've learned in life, tip well and you will be rewarded

Just my opinion....

I agree with you julybride however it seems as if most of the vendors EXPECT it. I have to tip my Maitre'D as per my caterer. And I was given a minimum amount...how about what I feel is right? What about if he is not around all nite? What if he doesnt go above and beyond as he should? Then what? Do we still give him that 'required' tip?

And as someone else said, what ever happened to the tip as a nice gesture. I used to work as a waitress for many years and know how tipping works. BECAUSE i used to waitress I KNOW the guidelines for tipping and I usually always tip a minimum of $20 -- even to my hairdresser!! But I used to work w/ people who gave poor service and then complained when they got a $2 tip!!

Like I said it just seems these days it is expected. And some people have said you need to tip to have your vendors not snub you after the wedding - which says they EXPECTED a tip.

I am stuck on what to do because the cash is low and I do not NOT want to tip. I guess I just wont be able to be as generous as I would like to be.

And I'd like to add, I looked up 'gratuity' in the dictionary:

Webster's Definitions
Pronunciation: gr&-'tü-&-tE, -'tyü-
Function: noun
InflectedForm(s): plural -ities
Date:1540
: something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service; especially : TIP

Main Entry: 10tip
Function: noun
Date:1755
: a gift or a sum of money tendered for a service performed or anticipated : GRATUITY

I'm not trying to start a controversy here, just stating MY opinion on this.


an interesting page on wedding tipping:
wedding tipping