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Been Away For a While

yelhsa41 Posted:

Been Away For a While

Hey everyone!!

I have been away for quite some time- My Mom suddenly passed away 4 months ago and wedding planning is the LAST thing I've been wanting to do or talk about since then... I was even contemplating cancelling the wedding (my father also passed away 7 years ago) but pretty much everyone talked me out of it. SO here I am just getting back into the swing of things again. Our big day is still 7 months away (8/31) but I feel like it's going to be here before we know it and since I took the last 4 months off from wedding planning I feel like I'm way behind. I still need to book limos (not happy with the limo company we presently have after reading recent poor reviews). Just started looking for invitations, bridal party gifts, hair & make-up people, etc.

I do have one question regarding parent dances... Since I do not have a parent to dance with and my Mom's death is still so new, I asked my fiance if he minded if we skipped the parent dance all together. He said he didn't mind at all. Is that wrong to ask??? All the feedback is much appreciated!

I hope to be able to come on more often now and discuss wedding planning :)
coffeeisgreen Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

It's not wrong to ask or skip at all. I am sorry to hear about your mother's recent passing
flynn14 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

im so sorry to hear that..people do all sorts of things that they are comfortable with during weddings..as long as your FH doesnt mind (and his mom) than skip it..or you can dance with an uncle or brother or someone else that is close to you too

futuremap Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

So sorry about your recent loss... I think it is more than ok to ask this request, but I would just make sure that FH asks his mom as well! She should be a part of that decision with him.

mattandjess2013 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your FH can always dance with his mom without it being an official 'mother/son dance'.

katielynn Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

So sorry to hear about your moms passing :(

Its absolutely okay to ask that you skip the dance.

His mom might get upset but hopefully she'll understand.

There are some other options that I've seen at weddings:

My friends mom passed away 2 years ago and at their wedding the did a beautiful slideshow in the beginning of the reception in her memory and lit a candle. Everyone was in tears. It was extremely touching. And then she danced with her dad and he danced with his aunt. Then they had a family dance which I thought was beautiful (she danced with his father and he danced with her mom). So you could create something if you wanted like that.

When my mom remarried... she actually danced with her new husbands Step Dad and also had him walk her down the aisle since they were close.

Gambigoo Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

So sorry for your losses. I agree with the girls. I think it's def ok, and hopefully his mother will understand. At my best friends wedding, both her parents had passed away so she did a dance with her brother and sister as a 'family dance.' They did a song in memory of their parents. It was really touching and a nice way to honor them.
Good luck with the rest of your planning. Maybe it will be a nice distraction from all the crappiness going on right now. Hang in there.
LMaccone16 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

its def ok, just wanted to share a suggestion I have recently seen…friends parents both passed..bride danced with her brother, with a slideshow of the parents in the background…HUGE tear jerker…but def something that will stand out forever..

ladygoodman Posted:

Been Away For a While

So sorry for your loss. I don't think it's wrong to ask to skip it. It's understandable.

ladygoodman Posted:

Been Away For a While

So sorry for your loss. I don't think it's wrong to ask to skip it. It's understandable.

ladygoodman Posted:

Been Away For a While

So sorry for your loss. I don't think it's wrong to ask to skip it. It's understandable.

KarolineH Posted:

Re: Been Away For a While

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you are doing well.
I don't think you were wrong for asking at all.
maine1981 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I am sorry for your loss. It is not wrong to ask. I also lost both my parents and understand it can be difficult. I am getting a locket w/ my parents photo for my bouquet and making a memorial candle with their wedding photo on it. Good luck and take one day at a time.

CortneyAndKevin Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I am very sorry for your loss :( Whatever works best for you and your FH is what you should do.

Alimm729 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad about 7 years ago also and asked FH if he wouldn't mind skipping the dances too. He's not very close to his mom, so it wasn't a big deal. Good luck.

Soon2BeMrsMango Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I am so sorry for your lost. I can not even imagine how hard that is. I think if you FH is ok with it I am sure everyone would understand skipping those dances. I am sure you mom would be happy knowing youre going though with the wedding.

Vilardi82 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I'm so sorry what an awful thing to be going through. I think that is totally understandable, the day is going to be hard enough and u want to enjoy very minute and having the parent dance would just be ll difficult. And you re lucky you have such an understanding fiancé! I hope despite all of this you can enjoy the next 7 months you deserve it.

yelhsa41 Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

Thanks everyone!!! I really appreciate all of the kind words and suggestions! The family dance sounds like a really cute idea! I'm one of 5 siblings ranging from 12-36, so maybe I will discuss this with them!! I don't want to do anything too sad, I'm already an emotional person and I know this day will be extra emotional- but I have time to think about it. Thanks again!! :)

MsErikaLynn Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

so sorry about your mother (and father of course) I don't think this is wrong to ask. if he really wants to do it then that would be different but I'm sure he understands. FH and I are not doing parent dances either.

YES he asked me Posted:

Been Away For a While - Long Island Weddings

I am sitting here in tears. I couldn't even imagine how you are feeling and my words are at a complete loss. I am soooo sorry that you have to experience such a special day without your parents but I agree with the girls and you. If FH is okay then it is okay and if you are already an emotional person the slides how wouldn't work. If ant even take looking at a picture too long and I am SUPER emotional. I am sure the planning of your wedding will distract you a bit. You will make it through. Stay sparring but cry every morning in the shower. It helps!

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