If you know that engagement is the next step be patient. I spent the whole summer fighting with FH about having commitment issues and crying that he didn't want to get married meanwhile he had his proposal all planned out for September. Just have faith in your man and when you least expect it he will pop the question.
gina409
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Re: Before the ring......
yes i agree..beating him up till he asks maybe fun..but we dont suggest it
kimmaymb20
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Re: Before the ring......
be patient your man will have everything planned out and no matter when it is you will be better off being surprised.
Lsorrent
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Re: Before the ring......
I agree. FH and I have been together 9 years, so marriage has been a topic of many fights for about 2 years now. All the while, he kept saying it was going to happen soon. My mom kept telling me 'he'll do it when he's ready.' But it caused many sleepless nights and arguments that could have been avoided if I wasn't so impatient. As a matter of fact, I think I was arguing with him about it the week before he proposed.
MrsC2010
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Re: Before the ring......
def agree....he has to do it on his own time. I wouldn't want fh to propose just bc i was pressuring him...i wanted him to do it bc he wanted and was completely ready!
coldasice217
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Re: Before the ring......
FH actually proposed a year AFTER he started looking for a ring...namely because I was nagging him. In the end, we would still be getting married the same time...just engaged for longer. In fact, I started crying and had a meltdown the Friday before he proposed (on a Sunday), because his mother asked me if I was going to be able to go to his cousin's eparty, which he didn't tell me about because he knew I was going to get upset if i found out she got engaged. He was more pissed at his mom because she knew he was going to propose two days later, so I started crying and ran into the bathroom, what a mess.
So longwinded, but moral of the story is...do as I say, not as I do!
MnM182008
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Re: Before the ring......
I have a similar story. I was with my DH for 6 years, and I started to get an itch, all we did was talk commitment, marriage so much so that he got freaked out and we broke up. Yep we were apart for 3 months, but in those 3 months he realized he couldn't be without me, we were engaged 2 months after we got back together. Stressing over getting a ring and being engaged can drive the happiest couple apart, men come around in their own time, don't stress, relax and it will happen.
lizzie217
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Re: Before the ring......
FutureMrs.M
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Re: Before the ring......
the day my FH 'asked' my parents I was out to dinner complaining to my friends how it was never going to happen and how frustrated I was...it was the cause of many fights.
Karsav7096
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Re: Before the ring......
lmao I just read this to Fh and his answer was 'were the heck were these girls when you were breaking my b@ll$ it couild have saved us many fights' So girlies just be patient you will have a lifetime to annoy them!! LOL
Mommy2BeBride
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Re: Before the ring......
It's so hard to be patient though. I have had numerous fights with my FH over this and he told me the longer I nag him the longer I will have to wait for him to propose. I feel like proposing to him. lol but it does get very stressful thinking about it.
RitasEngaged
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Re: Before the ring......
i fought with him over proposing and actually almost broke up with him because he was never going to propose.
He told me that he had the ring on him 3 different times and never did it because he felt like they were on my terms and not his.
I felt like i ruined my whole proposal because I was such a biotch about it and never just let it happend.
It also didn't help that I found my ring long before he gave it to me so i didn't understand why he was holding on to it
msmontoute
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Re: Before the ring......
This is such a great forum! Thanks for sharing your input.
I am one of the 'soon to be engaged' girls and I am at my wit's end. It is going to be 5 years in June and I am soooo ready to climb the walls because I am sooo impatient. I am really hoping that for our 5 year anniversary that he will put a ring on it... We picked out my wedding set and I even fell in love with a venue..(beautiful, right price, great food)...My mom and I have visited about 80 venues so this was a big step...LOL..We decided that we were 'the one' about 2 years ago and have been talking about it for so long and I would get so frustrated that we aren't there yet...some months are better than others....
This Christmas, he told my father that he was going to take him out to dinner to ask for my hand formally and told my other family members that we were going to have a 2010 wedding. I know all of this should make me happy because it is coming but I think it makes me even more anxious...
But here is my real main concern, I am scared that if he takes through the end of the year to propose that by the time he proposes that the venue won't have a september afternoon date available in 2010 (which is what I really want) and that I will have to to wait until 2011. And then it will be close to a 2 year engagemnet. Am I being irrational...LOL You can tell me, I can take it!! LOL
MirabellaNYC
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Re: Before the ring......
Everyone is giving great advice!! I agree with what everyone has said so far.
My advice is to just enjoy the period of anticipation...because if you're freaking out wondering when, where, what, you're setting yourself up too much. Just let it happen on its own because its such a beautiful moment that feels like a roller coaster-to this day I have no idea what FH said while he was proposing. It went by so fast. And you wouldn't want him to propose b/c you had the 'itch'. Trust me, I had the itch too-but I kept my mouth shut and let my dear fh be the one to bring up getting engaged each time we talked about it. I never was the conversation starter on that one.
Don't book anything until you get engaged either-b/c you're going to want to ENJOY some time with your man before you go into planning chaos. So to sum it all up:
1) Be patient; good things come to those who wait
2) Focus on your relationship and each other right now-not on IF or WHEN he'll propose (if its the right guy it will happen).
3) Don't jump on the engagement bandwagon-if all your friends just got engaged, don't try and be one of the pack-our wedding is the last of our friends, and its been over 2 years since the last wedding. Its alot more fun when yours is separate from everyone else's.
jtgarsik
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Re: Before the ring......
we had this discussion over on the newlywed board...feel free to take a look & see what some of us had to say
Don't nag for the ring - FH will propose in his own time. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to have trust in your relationship. Plus, I know for me that even though I knew he was ring shopping and that it was going to happen, I was totally surprised when it did happen - and it is such a great and happy memory!
JamDancer
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Re: Before the ring......
Ugh I agree- TRY to be quiet and be patient. I nagged about it (not about getting him to do it, I knew it was coming, but I am so impatient so I was trying to get hints out of him WHEN it was coming). So bad, I know. I became obsessed about it bc I knew it was coming anyday now, so I completely figured out when he was going to do it, and I was right. It was still amazing, but I regret not being completely surprised.....
